Gina Ford yay or nay?

[Tracy551162]

Just finished reading the Gina Ford Comtented Little Baby book and have to say that everything she says is very logical and makes full sense. She writes and explains everyhting in a very structured way and I found it is very easy to follow.

I am now looking at The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and I find that book so unstructured and random, but so far she is saying the same as Gina Ford bar the odd bit here and there.

I think I am going to try with the Gina Ford method, but obviously adapting for my and my baby's own needs, and without getting in a flap if I get behind schedule.

Has ayone else read these books or tried to work by them with their babies? Am I completely mad even mentioneing the name Gina Ford? I've had a lot of negative reactions from friends, who say she's a baby nazi - most of them haven't even read the book though.

Thanks.

hello Tracey
it is my personal opinion and professional observation that neither GF nor TH's "routines" are geared towards the needs of babies, in particular their feeding/nutrional needs but more widely their emotional and psychological needs.
it is my professional observation that following aroutine strictly, for example the routines suggested in GF's books, can lead to social isolation for some women.
it is also my observation that anyone who tries to offer very specific advice about how to look after a tiny baby they have never met is trying to sell you something in the real world, women with experience of looking after babies know that babies are all different and have different needs. you will find out about how to look after your baby by observing your baby and responding to your baby's needs, rather than by looking in a book
welcome to mumsnet!

Hmmmmmm, reckoning this is a troll posting, but hey if not..............
You need to work out what you need and want from having a baby. If the most important thing to you is that you can 'get back to normal' as soon as possible after the birth, then it is likely that you will need to train your baby to fit in to a very strict schedule, and perhaps GF is the one for you.
If you feel that the most important thing is that you meet the needs of your baby, treating them as an individual person rther than an inconvenience, then I would suggest that a more nurturing, flexible, more relaxed pproach is called for.
I agree that Baby whisperer is the same in essence as GF, but nicer!
If you want a book, maybe have a look at Penelope Leach or What to expect in the first year.
Having a new baby is hard, unbelievable so, but it's natural for it to be so. Go with the flow and ride the beast!!!

Tracy come back!!!!!!!!!!!! She must think we are horrid.

Really sorry Tracey, I wrote this post ages ago and was distracted by children, so just pressed post. Don't leave. You'll find MN to be a fanstastic resource and support especially int those early weeks.
Welcome!

awwww dont leave....we were all just too scared to tell you what happened incase we got struck down i actually thought MNHQ would come along and inform away.....i wish id have made an entrance in the mumsnet communtity likeyou have

tiktok's advice is as good as you get

I used to use the GF site when DS1 was small - I left when I started to realise he was autistic and there is no special needs section on GF - at least not when I was a member. Yes, there were a few nutters who were taking it too seriously but the vast majority are just using the routines as a very rough guide to how to structure the day and are not forcing any issue ahead of time. Also some mothers may have ASD issues themselves - I find it very hard to act spontaneously and can only cope with fairly set parameters.

And if it helps - I got called a troll on one of my first posts and was seriously flamed.
a couple of years later and a lot of vigorous posting - I was recently called "prolific" and likened to some of the MN royalty.

Admitedly i posted it myself but hey, all publicity is godd publicity

pmsl at mamazon( while doing a curtsey)

tracey possibly not the greatest start to MN life, but welcome anyway

I tried to go it alone for 4 weeks after DS was born but it was a pretty miserable experience, he cried and I cried - a lot. So I did the GF routine and it worked first day. See how you get on, you may well be fine letting baby set the routine if not you can just take little bits from the book as and when you need it.

Hi tracey

Gina ford - for me it's a nay. It's not an approach I am comfortable with as it is my opinion that the relationship between mother and child should be a more spontaneous, tender and natural one, governed by instinct and love, rather than by the clock. My fear about approaches like this are that they create a distance between mother and child, prevent the mother from developing and coming to recognise her own parental instincts and I really think that a child denied the natural, spontaneous, instinctive, responsive nurturing of its mother will fare less well emotionally. I worry that it may create a situation where they don't bond because the approach really is all about control and distance, when you should be loving and close.

But that's just my personal opinion.

Blimey, I really have offended on many counts. One thousand of my humblest apologies. But now my choice of name isn't ok. Hey ho. When I have a spare minute I promise I will think of something witty and clever, that I will probably end up forgetting next time. Hmmmmm. Either way, I will be in cognito next time as I can't have my notoriety preceeding me.

It's been an education, an interesting and amusing one at that. Does everyone have to go through an initiaition to be accepted on here.

But at least it looks like all your babies are in splendid routines given the speed with which everyone replied to this

Interesting what you say hecate. One of the things I found when I had ds, was that I just didn't have much instinct for what you do with the baby. Lots of people said to me "Oh, when you have the baby, you'll instinctively know what to do" but it didn't really happen for me.

I therefore found Gf's routines very helpful and reassuring. Having used them successfully, I would dispute that they lead to a distance between mother and child - in my case they helped me to become closer to ds, as I was able to relax a bit more once I could rely on the rourine working. I would say that ds and I have an extremely close, loving relationship.

welll I followed GF with DS, and he was fab. I did get a little stressed about routines, but I was also depressed (and following GF did not cause the depression, it helped me). DS was a happy, secure, easy, good sleeper.

DD has not been so easy, and I tried to follow the routines but she has had none of it. Now she fgoes through the night I find I have re introduced them, and she settles well during the day and night, and eats well.

Luck? Maybe. But for me, the routines gave me a lifeline to get things done.

funny you should ask Tracy, I was just thinking that on this thread after I stupidly got involved in a working/stay at home mothers debate. I swore, 6 months ago when I joined MN that I wouldn't but I did.

That thread is quite a good heads up for the landmines...

tracy i was told off by my name when i first joined.....due to numbers in it i just accepted that these netters were here before me so just went along with it....i am truly sorry if you have been offended....we aren't like this all the time...in fact this place is a lifeline for some belive it or not...just give us a chance, im sure you'll change your mind

Tracy, there is no initiation to MN, most people on here are truly lovely and you haven't offended anyone personally.

Gina Ford sued MN for a thread just liek this. They nearly had to shut down, they settled out of court in the end.

By the way, welcome Tracy, sorry you have had a bit of a rough ride with your first post. You'll find Mumsnet has a real variety of advice from a huge range of people, which is great. They won't always agree with each other, though!

Unfortunately I think you unwittingly picked about the most controversial topic you could have done, but I'm sure no-one will mind. I hope you enjoy it, now you are here.

Lol Tracey - your name is fine but there have been many deabtes about screennames.
it was decided that we like people to think of funny or witty names that show an insight into their personality.

Its mostly names with numbers or "mummy" in them that people dislike.
and yet we have a great number of much respected Mners who have "mummy" names.
Psychomumof5
LuluMamma
MumofMonsters

so many i cant think of them lol

Hi all,
There's no question we'd pull this thread. Very happy for you all to discuss different parenting methods. Just do stick to our general rules - no personal attacks, gross obscenities, mention of Froot Shoots - and please do report anything that doesn't.

Cheers,

Mumsnet Towers

keep postig Tracy -i think I got flamed on an early post, and am a certified thread killer.

MN can be a little sharp sometimes, sometimes you have to play a thread out to get even views, often people jump in with v strong opinions and it can be scary, but then the moderaters come on and give the loud mouths a kick, and it all evens out.

Word of advice though - don't post about early weaning, or bf/ff unless you are up for a fight....

the threads that nearly closed Mn were nothing likr this one I can assure you!!!

welcome tracy

Seeeee even one of the bosses has "mum" in her name

just steer clear of MP - It was all her fault