Gina Ford yay or nay?

[Tracy551162]

Just finished reading the Gina Ford Comtented Little Baby book and have to say that everything she says is very logical and makes full sense. She writes and explains everyhting in a very structured way and I found it is very easy to follow.

I am now looking at The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and I find that book so unstructured and random, but so far she is saying the same as Gina Ford bar the odd bit here and there.

I think I am going to try with the Gina Ford method, but obviously adapting for my and my baby's own needs, and without getting in a flap if I get behind schedule.

Has ayone else read these books or tried to work by them with their babies? Am I completely mad even mentioneing the name Gina Ford? I've had a lot of negative reactions from friends, who say she's a baby nazi - most of them haven't even read the book though.

Thanks.

She's evil.

So if you adapted her routines, why are you still calling them her routines? Aren't they yours now? If another baby of someone who didn't read the book is in roughly the same routine as your baby, are they GF babies even though their parents have never heard of GF?

I read the CLBB and was disappointed at what I felt was a lack of advice about how actually to get your baby to do what they were 'supposed' to be doing at a particular time if they didn't want to (weren't tired, weren't hungry, or whatever). I can well imagine that people with babies who would naturally (i.e. with no book being read at all) fall into a routine similar to the timetables in GFs books, and who do so after their parent has read the CLBB, can end up giving GF the credit - but the chances are their babies would have done that anyway.

All babies are in some kind of routine, GF does not own the concept of a routine, and the idea that she does is the biggest straw man ever - this idea that if you don't 'do GF' then your baby has no routine to their life at all and is just doing things at random times. I agree with TikTok all the way - learning to be responsive to your baby is what's important - trust those cues, not someone else's timetable. Your baby may still end up asleep at roughly the same times CLBB times, but it won't be caused by the CLBB.

Sideboard, that is the point a number of us have been trying to make, but I've given up now. To me, it was common sense to aim for a bedtime and a morningtime, and I achieved that without buying anybody's book.

Beautifully put Sideboard!!

Monkies

Am slightly bemused as to why mothers who have never followed GF are so obsessed with others who do. Why do you you feel the need to scrutinise how others choose to parent-it's odd.

There are those of us who have followed the routines exactly and those who adapt, those who end up doing a mixture of both. I did it to the letter to begin with so can give Gina the credit for my contended babies 100 % as can countless others.

When appointments,coffee dates etc cropped up I made them sleep at said times by rocking pushchair or simply woke them for a cuddle or feed at the exact times just not in the house. After a while they can cope with it but I tried not to let it happen too much, people had to fit in round me. It wasn't a daily occurance just a couple of times a week, as soon as we got home we got back on track.

The mild inconvienience of being dictated to by a routine is outwighed big time with the results you enjoy (contented babies and a full nights sleep). Used to make me laugh at toddler groups as coming up for the lunchtime feed etc all the Gina mums used to stream out right on cue.

When I had my twins we were up all night for a long time. They had absolutely no concept of routine, I had no idea about how to deal with babies, my mother was miles away and couldn't give advice as it was 35 years after she had me. Friends I know were as clueless as me, followed advice from friends and family-it didn't work.

We were desperate, couldn't wait for weeks and months for a routine to drop out of the sky. You may be the type to run yourself into the ground waiting for said routine to manifest itself-I'm not, condemn me if you wish, I simply don't care.

They were cranky alll the time, I was resenting them as I was totally exhausted. I wasn't prepared to wait any longer. Gina was a total godsend-it worked big time !!!!!! It told me exactly what to do and I followed it to the letter. In a couple of weeks I had 2 contented baby and a contended mummy. I enjoyed them in the day insead of sobbing from exhaustion. Same story 15 months later with dd except I did it a lot earlier.

So some people do AP ,co sleeping(personally I would rather stick pins in my eyes),some make up their own routines, some use books. As has been said countless times we are alll different and can parent exactly how we choose as weall have different circumstances,babies and personalities. I am A SAHM it makes me happy, others work it makes them happy, we all do things diffrently,nobody has the right to judge.

Oh and KMGoodie your comment is a little immature.

I think it's a tad unfair to accuse somebody who has simply written a book that has helped thousands of families evil.

Oh dear, another interesting discussion descends into personal affronts and foot stamping.

MilaMae: "When appointments,coffee dates etc cropped up I made them sleep at said times by rocking pushchair or simply woke them for a cuddle or feed at the exact times just not in the house."

I don't remember Gina's routines mentioning allowing a baby to sleep in a pushchair. I thought it has to be a cot in a darkened room. As you have followed her routines to the letter, I suppose you know better. Was it in her later books?

I say a definite yay for Gina Ford. Used the routines for all 4 of mine and they are all great sleepers...including our 5mth old DS who has slept through the night from a matter of weeks despite the fact I'm doing a school run/ pre-school run.

If you do a GF routine you can be assured that you won't be back on MN posting about your 2.5 year old consitently waking up several times a night and how you are needing support for controlled crying.

My children sleep soundly, all night, and have done for ages, without GF, or any other guru, for that matter.

Blueshoes

I followed the timings,feeds and whether asleep or awake to the letter which is the gist of the routine but as I said already said on odd occasions this happened out of the house. This was only after a few months when the routine had become established. In the beginning it was never, I waited until I was confident that this would have no impact and still limited it.

She acknowledges that this will happen now and again, you just try not to make a habit of it and get back on track ASAP which I did.

I found as long as I kept to the timings,feeds and waking times exactly and didn't do it regularly, having a nap at the doctors now and again when they were a few months older made little impact on the routine. By this time they loved their cot so were always happy to be in it at sleep time whatever.

I tried not to do it more than a couple of times a week at most, many weeks not at all so would simply arrange things that suited the the routine. Wouldn't suit everybody but it didn't bother me at all, having the sleep at night and happy babies made it worthwhile for me. I still saw friends just when it suited me.

"I followed the timings,feeds and whether asleep or awake to the letter which is the gist of the routine but as I said already said on odd occasions this happened out of the house. This was only after a few months when the routine had become established. In the beginning it was never, I waited until I was confident that this would have no impact and still limited it.

She acknowledges that this will happen now and again, you just try not to make a habit of it and get back on track ASAP which I did.

I found as long as I kept to the timings,feeds and waking times exactly and didn't do it regularly, having a nap at the doctors now and again when they were a few months older made little impact on the routine. By this time they loved their cot so were always happy to be in it at sleep time whatever.

I tried not to do it more than a couple of times a week at most, many weeks not at all so would simply arrange things that suited the the routine. Wouldn't suit everybody but it didn't bother me at all, having the sleep at night and happy babies made it worthwhile for me. I still saw friends just when it suited me. "

See, I just put mine in a sling and got on with whatever I was doing, feeding them when they were hungry and letting them sleep when they nodded off. Gee, I must be mad, that GF thing sounds so much easier !!

Monkies

Unfortunately you can't put twins in a sling and when one is asleep the other is often awake.

Your type of parenting wouldn't have suited me or my circumstances mine did-fantastically!!!!

"Q. I'm pregnant with twins. There's no way I can use a sling for my babies, right?

A. Slinging twins is more of a challenge, but so is everything relating to twins. This can be done! When the babies are newborn, both can be worn in one sling (just order one size larger than you would normally need.)

One possible position is a double "tummy-to-tummy" carry. Place one baby over each breast facing you, with the babies' legs either inside or outside the bottom of the sling (whichever the babies prefer). Tighten the tail until the babies are both snugly held against your chest.

Another position for newborn twins is with their feet touching, with the babies facing each other sideways in the sling. Place one baby in the sling with her head facing the rings. Then put the second baby in, facing the first. Tighten the sling until snug.

When the babies are older, you can wear your babies by using two different size slings. If you would normally require a medium sling, you would need a medium and a large. Put on the smaller sling first and get one baby snugly situated. (You can use a cradle position for younger babies or a hip carry for older ones.) Then put the larger sling over and get the second baby positioned and tighten the sling."

twin slinging pictures

Monkies

MilaMae, what you described sounded like you were literally a prisoner of routine. It is sad to think that a nice coffee date or an appointment has to be rationed and spaced out because it is a break from the routine that you need to get back track on asap. Otherwise your baby's all precious nighttime sleep will be scuppered. Is it at all possible that your baby would have slept through anyway without the rigid routine?

Glad that suited you. Better you than me.

more twins in slings

It can be done, as can breastfeeding twins, it just depends on who's needs you want to meet and whether you need to feel in control. The irony of strict routines is that whilst you may feel like you are in control in actual fact the routine is in control and you are a slave to it.

Monkies

Shudders!!!

Not my bag at all!!!!!!!!

Got seriously bad back ache carrying my dd in a sling and was so exhausted when my twins were born even pushing the double pushchair was sometimes just not worth the effort.

Do you know how much 2 babies with a combined birth weight of 14 lbs feel to carry?????

Yup hold my hands up it was my needs I wanted to meet in order that I could cope with my babies needs.

And yup needed to feel in control, felt better than feeling like a zombie and gibbering wreck.

I seriously never felt like a slave or missed out. Still had coffee dates just at times that suited me. Medical appointments were tricky but as soon as I bleated mum of twins I generally got a time to suit or simply didn't turn up

To be honest in those 1st few months gallavanting round town wasn't high on my to do list-getting some sleep was.

Just being straight and to the point - the topic and author is not to be discussed on this medium in any way.
Best stop now eh?

As usual Green Monkies you have missed the point. no-one has critised your choice of parenting. (I couldn't carry a baby in a sling, let alone 2, my back is buggered). We chose our style of parenting and it suits us.

You chose your style and it suited you.

Choice is what it boils down to.

Pinky Minky - no-one asid your babies didn't sleep well. What they said was that they felt that usign GF meant theirs did.

What seems to be suggested overall on this thread is that babies who are in a routine, OVERALL MIGHT sleep better ffrom an earlier age - if you CHOOSE to do this.

This website is not littered with cries of help from people with babies in routines saying "help my baby is awake all night". But it is littered with peole who'\s babies are NOT in routines saying exactly that.

I re-iterate an earlier point. For some babies, they would sleep well regardless of routine, or not. Some babies prefer a routine, and saome babies not in a routine do not sleep well, and might do better if they were in a routine.

People who choose to sacrifice a few social dates, and to work their day around a child who sleeps regularly and eats regularly, well, its up to them. I felt it benefited my babies, and it certainly benefitted me, coz I was sane from sleeping better.

lol @ the notion that those who use routines don't have trouble with their kids sleeping! And at the idea that those who don't use strict routines have no sense of order to their day and have children who can't sleep through the night!

There are other reasons for night waking in babies other that not being in a routine, fgs.

This is an area where it is really for the parents to decide, and what will suit the personality of the baby! Certainly not one size fits all.

shrinking: "This website is not littered with cries of help from people with babies in routines saying "help my baby is awake all night". But it is littered with peole who'\s babies are NOT in routines saying exactly that."

What exactly is a 'routine'? I don't follow GF because my babies had a mind of their own and demanded on their needs being met on their own terms. Eventually they did fall into a loose routine from 4-5 months. I think many mothers who don't follow GF would say their babies are also in routines. I would call GF a 'schedule' rather than an 'routine'. My dd did not sleep through until she was 18 months. Ds at 19 months now still does not.

I have not littered this site with cries for help on the sleep front. There are lots of parents with non-sleeping babies who just adapt (eg co-sleeping, bf-ing) and accept their babies for what they are. And I go to work every day and run a tight ship of a household.

I totally agree that it is for you to follow the parenting style that suits you and your baby. But please don't paint parents whose babies who do not sleep through from a young age as being in some kind of desperate circumstance. It seems to me that achieving sleep from infancy is a particular obsession of GF. That is fine - to each their own. But there are other parents whose babies don't sleep through who are doing fine as well.

" (I couldn't carry a baby in a sling, let alone 2, my back is buggered)."

I have a scoliosis and a prolapsed disk at L4/5 and joint hypermobility. A good sling doesn't put any strain on your back at all. I still carry my (chunky) 22 month old in a sling, however, it is a proper sling not a Baby Bjorn style carrier.

There seems to be a misconception between being disorganised and being a slave to a routine, it is not one or the other. I am neither. All the "Routine Queens" seem to say "I was a disorganised zombie before I started using a Routine" but my point, (and I'm not alone) is that you can be organised without being a slave to a timetable. You can care for your babies needs without giving them scheduled feeds and naps.

Babies who are up all night are just that, babies, I'm confident the reason they are waking in the night is because they don't want to sleep alone in a cot, not because they are not in a routine. The forum is also not littered with messages from co-sleepers wailing about lack of sleep, because when they are in bed with thier mothers (like evolution has designed them to be) babies sleep really well and thier mothers are not sleep deprived.

I am really hacked off by the constant inference by routine queens that those of us who are not in routines are disorganised sleep-deprived loons. This implication does come across as a kind of patronising critisism!

Monkies

no-one has said you are a sleep depirved loon - what we have said is that we are not.

We have not said that other people are living in disorganised chaos. Not every GF poster has said theirs lives were chaos before Gina, what they have said was that in order to maintain some routine to their lives, they opted for Gina.

I'm glad you are able to carry your baby in a sling, despite back problems. Perhaps for me, the point is, that not only do I not think I could, but I don't really wnat to either. I am going back to work tomorrow, I need ot be able to leave my baby with other adults who will not carry her round all day - so for me, it is vital that she gets used to being put down.

Greenmonkies, just because you enjoy co-sleeping and carrying your baby around in a sling all day, doesn't mean that other mothers should/will do the same. You seem to be ramming your parenting style down other posters throats.
No-one has said to you, you are wrong to co-sleep, APing is not good parenting etc etc; and yet that's EXACTLY what you are saying to people who have used GF or other quite strict routines. That they are wrong.

It's like sagpuss and milamae have tried to say, there is no right and wrong here. Just different ways of dealing with motherhood. Why can't you just let others do it their own way? There's a kind of 'my way or the highway' element to your postings.

APing is as rigid, in a way, as following a GF style routine. But it's what suits you, so that's fab. I applaud you for being able to do it. I certainly couldn't.