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Original poster

Gina Ford yay or nay?

355 replies

Tracy551162 · 18/04/2008 10:49

Just finished reading the Gina Ford Comtented Little Baby book and have to say that everything she says is very logical and makes full sense. She writes and explains everyhting in a very structured way and I found it is very easy to follow.

I am now looking at The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg and I find that book so unstructured and random, but so far she is saying the same as Gina Ford bar the odd bit here and there.

I think I am going to try with the Gina Ford method, but obviously adapting for my and my baby's own needs, and without getting in a flap if I get behind schedule.

Has ayone else read these books or tried to work by them with their babies? Am I completely mad even mentioneing the name Gina Ford? I've had a lot of negative reactions from friends, who say she's a baby nazi - most of them haven't even read the book though.

Thanks.

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cyberseraphim · 21/04/2008 19:34

But some rigid safety instructions as per our own Dept of Health advise against co sleeping which is often encouraged by those opposed in principle to routines. I personally didn't want to do this but I respect others' right to a freedom of choice. It's pointless to just keep saying that everyone who disagrees with you is wrong.

K999 · 21/04/2008 19:37

Hi Tracey....a massive big YAY for me!!

puffling · 21/04/2008 19:38

I used GF and will use it again if I have another child. I really don't agree that self confidence and instinct is what you really need. Instinct is not enough. You need some information too.

MabelMay · 21/04/2008 19:56

GreenMonkeys, I don't know why you felt the need to pick on my post as all I was doing was telling the OP to go with whatever felt right for her.
I'm sorry you think there's nothing natural about the fact that my DS1 slept for 12 hours straight at 9 weeks old. Why are you criticising me for the kind of baby my DS1 was? I did nothing to "train" him to do that. I was just very lucky. I didn't have him in a GF routine, that was my point. He was just a very big, very hungry baby who wanted to drink a lot of milk and hence was able to sleep for very long spells and I didn't try to put him into any kind of routine FWIW; he did it of his own accord(altho he was a hard baby during the day as he barely slept at all).
However my DS2 is a completely different baby and is now benefiting from being in a more strict routine from DS1 as he was all over the place, and hence so was I.

Nowhere have I told anyone what is "right" and what is "wrong".

Jesus. I was just trying to be helpful.

justabouta · 21/04/2008 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MabelMay · 21/04/2008 20:41

Thanks, justabouta.

bit disconcerting to have one's baby criticised just because he slept well at night, of his own accord.

pinkyminky · 21/04/2008 20:53

There is always that joke that babies don't come with an instruction manual. There is often great truth in humour.

The assumption that those who don't follow strict routines imposed by a third party stay up all night with screaming babies is quite simply misguided.

FWIW, I don't co-sleep with my babies.

Common sense and instinct I'm afraid are vastly underrated these days in many spheres of life and I think it's really sad. Both these things are informed intutively from our own life experiences and should be given credence.

ilovewashingnappies · 21/04/2008 21:07

I have been usng my Gina Ford book the last week or so to help my dd sleep better. It works a treat:

I used it to prop up one end of the cot as she has a cold............

puffling · 21/04/2008 21:12

People didn't rely on instinct in the olden days, they relied on their mums.

Gemzooks · 21/04/2008 21:20

I found it very helpful, DS has been a very easy baby, but was it him or the routine, don't know.

I personally am very uptight and need a sense of control, and I like to know that even with a small baby, they will go to bed at 7 pm and I can have the evening with my husband before the 10/11 pm feed. To me, it saved my sanity having the routine. Also, it seemed to comfort my son to have a very regular routine. It's totally a case of whatever fits the mother's personality, if you are a more controlling type person who feels that the baby can't take over absolutely everything, GF is right for you. If you are more relaxed and don't mind holding the baby all the time, then you should do that. it's really more about the mother...

MilaMae · 21/04/2008 21:31

My 3 have always slept fantastically from a very early age thanks to Gina. Perfectly natural in my view, actually couldn't care less if it isn't.

I'm a SAHM 24 hours a day 7 days a week. All day I tend to my 3 under 5 and I'm a very attentive and loving mother. I have to have and deserve a good nights sleep if I am to give my kids what they need during the day. I physically cannot be at their beck and call day and night. Night time is my time. I needed this from day one which is why I turned to Gina.

Gina is soooo over hyped, you have a couple of nights with the odd 5 mins here and there of crying then bingo a happy sleeping baby and happy parents.

Heated · 21/04/2008 21:31

Such is the controversy, I've always been a bit scared to go near a GF book in case of what it might do to me .

pinkyminky · 21/04/2008 21:39

Parenting theories have been going in all directions for centuries- we are not the first generation to question our own parents actions, and not everyone had the kind of parent one would emulate.
I wasn't referring to'ye olden' days- I'm not that old

I was actually thinking about other aspects of life, and to a certain extent my own profession as much as parenting. I think there are more differing theories around now, which maybe can make things bewildering for us and I was merely putting a vote in for trusting your own judgement as a way though the vast array of 'methods'.

I'm a 7-7 routine person, too. It's not an either GF or no routine at all choice, is it?

shrinkingsagpuss · 21/04/2008 22:46

TikTok - it was Green monekys' post I was referring too earlier, I'll find the quote when I have time.. something along the lines of childnre who can't form relation ships.. as a result of parents using GF - BOLLOCKS. Evidence? Or is evidence not required in this case?

Out of interest, and this is pure interest, I'm not picking a fight - of the ladies who come to you struggling to b/f roughly what proportion are trying to follow GF (and only GF as this is what the thread is about?) and what proportion are simply struggling to b/f without following ANY routine. IMO , b/f is not easy for a lot of people, and with or without a routine, those same people would probably have found it hard going. Likewise, the ones who find a routine easy may also have found b/f easy without a routine.

.. nice to see though that this thread is attracting a number of pro GF/ routines and a number of againsts. what is interesting is, as I said earlier, that the posts against seem to be far more aggressive, and repeated tha the Pro posters.

pinkyminky · 21/04/2008 23:09

I didn't see anyone being aggressive? Curious choice of words.
I think lumping any routines in with GF is missing the point a bit. It's not routine per se that is being discussed, it is the GF method of achieving one.

tiktok · 21/04/2008 23:54

struggling, it's only a small number who are following Gina Ford's books, though if people mention a book, it tends to be this one, and from my own experience and that of other breastfeeding counsellors, her approach is not as commonly followed as it was a couple of years ago. The majority of new mothers don't follow any particular book, but many of them think they should be putting their babies into some sort of routine - they have heard this, or read this somewhere, or been told by someone.

I am mystified by your assessment of this thread as containing 'aggressive' posts...and that people who argue against following GF are 'far more aggressive'. I see some strong opinions but no aggression!

tiktok · 21/04/2008 23:56

I can't find anything saying you can't form a relationship with your children, shrinking - have you imagined it?

However, if a baby's needs are consistently ignored (and I don't think you have said anything that makes me think you fall into this category!), there is a lot of evidence that this affects their emotional well-being into childhood and adulthood.

shrinkingsagpuss · 22/04/2008 08:50

TikTok - posted by Greenmonkey - "Put the GF type books away and learn how to tune in on yours and your babies instincts, that way you'll truely have a Contented Baby, not just a passive one who lies uncomplaining between feeds and grows up without the ability to form secure emotional bonds."

And, as I posted in response, my babies are anything but uncomplaining, unable to form secure emotional bonds.

There is no evidence of this in relation to GF - but don't get me started on Truby King!!!

Did you answer my question - about the proportion of struggling mums who aren't following ANY routine v those trying to follow one? Fomr what I've seen on MN, there seem to be more posts from mums woh are not folowing a routine -this is not to say that routines are the answer, just that not followign one is not necessarily the key to successful b/f.

shrinkingsagpuss · 22/04/2008 08:55

perhaps its just my interpreation, but when people presume to describe my children as uncmplaining, passive, unable to form secure emotional bonds, etc... i think that is a little aggressive. No-one who has posted on here supporting GF has said anything about other peoples children- only their own. Posters against GF have (some of thme) felt free to comment on what they think are the negative effects iof a routine, (on both parents and children) - all I ask is what gives them the right to pass comment on how it effects me and my family - when only I know that?

MabelMay · 22/04/2008 09:05

Before I write more, I'll just say I didn't follow GF's routines with either of my DS's - but not because I'm entirely against them. However, I totally agree with shrinkingsagpuss. Many of those who argue against the GF routine do so in a rather aggressive, almost pathological way. Why? It's no skin off their nose if other mothers like it/follow it and find that it helps them.

People who are pro GF do not slam those mums who prefer to go with the flow or follow another routine or none at all.

Do some mums feel threatened by the GF way? Do they see it working for others and resent it? I am just curious.

If it doesn't suit/work for you, fine. But why strike out at those who it does work for?

MabelMay · 22/04/2008 09:06

Before I write more, I'll just say I didn't follow GF's routines with either of my DS's - but not because I'm entirely against them.

Having said that, I totally agree with shrinkingsagpuss. Many of those who argue against the GF routine do so in a rather aggressive, almost pathological way. Why? It's no skin off their nose if other mothers like it/follow it and find that it helps them.

People who are pro GF do not slam those mums who prefer to go with the flow or follow another routine or none at all.

Do some mums feel threatened by the GF way? Do they see it working for others and resent it? I am just curious.

If it doesn't suit/work for you, fine. But why strike out at those who it does work for?

MabelMay · 22/04/2008 09:07

oops - sorry double post

shrinkingsagpuss · 22/04/2008 09:09

MabelMay - Thank you.

justabouta · 22/04/2008 09:43

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tiktok · 22/04/2008 10:37

justabouta, I think you may be more right than you think!

I don't see the posts as 'aggressive' but they are strongly worded, and on re-reading, someone might interpret them as being vitriolic, I can see that. I plead 'not guilty' myself - there is nothing vitriolic or agresssive in my posts, but I can use robust argument, I s'pose

The way we form adult relationships and get along with people has a lot to do with how we were parented ourselves. It's not beyond the bounds of possibility to imagine that someone might recognise the parenting they had as being unresponsive and damaging, and understand its negative effects on their adult life, and be determined not to repeat the same patterns with their own children - to 'save' their own kids, if you like, from the effects they see in their own lives.

This leads them to feel very strongly and to express themselves very strongly about parenting methods that seem (to them) to have these same undesirable long-term effects.