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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Goodbye or no goodbye when I leave my 2 year old at pre school?

17 replies

Swedes · 16/04/2008 10:20

My DD 2.6 has recently started pre-school on two mornings a week. She seems to love it but this morning I said goodbye to her as I left and I saw her hesitate. I managed to distract her and then sloped off when she was busy doing something else.

In general, is it better to say goodbye or not?

OP posts:

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NotQuiteCockney · 16/04/2008 10:21

Always better to say goodbye, imo and ime.

marina · 16/04/2008 10:23

Goodbye, always. Staff ought to try and help the younger ones with this moment.

SueW · 16/04/2008 10:23

Yes, say goodbye.

cheesesarnie · 16/04/2008 10:23

i think not saying goodbye is cruel.i used to work in a preschool and it was horrid watching the children who hadnt been said goodbye too suddenly realise theyd been left.i couldnt imagine not saying goodbye to one of my children.

stepfordwife · 16/04/2008 10:24

yes, definitely say goodbye, big kiss and hug, chirpy 'have a lovely day," then leave straight away, even if they get a bit upset.
makes them worse if you hang around and wityhin 5 seconds of you leaving, she'll be fine.
but sounds like she's settled in really well

lackaDAISYcal · 16/04/2008 10:29

I used to stay until DS was engrossed in an activity and then say a quick goodbye and give him a peck on the head to keep it low key. The staff were great with wobbly moments though.

I think as well, they tend to settle in OK at first, but then after a few weeks when the novelty has worn off and they realise it's a permanent arrangement they get a bit flummoxed.

Always better to say goodbye though as they can get quite distressed if suddenly you're not there.

hattyyellow · 16/04/2008 10:31

I always say goodbye but try and make it very cheerful and breezy, even though I may be sobbing inside seeing their bottom lip tremble!

There is one member of staff my girls love who is often by the door as I tend to get there early - I attach them to her or take them over to the dolly/dressing up/kitchen sections which they love and tend to start picking up things and playing.

It's horrible isn't it! But at least if you say goodbye you can say see you in a little bit/later/this afternoon we're doing this and they have some idea that later on you'll be back.

jingleyjen · 16/04/2008 10:32

Our preschool always insisted that you said goodbye and that the child knew you were going.. they had had too many experiences of the child looking up from an activity 20 minutes later and being devastated that Mummy wasn't there any more.

IdrisTheDragon · 16/04/2008 10:38

I always say goodbye to DD (2.6) although I'm not sure she listens to me, being veyr involved in what she's doing. She seems to be having fun though

francagoestohollywood · 16/04/2008 10:40

yes, goodbye and have a lovely time. be good. I'm big on recommendations

CantSleepWontSleep · 16/04/2008 10:40

With everyone else on this one. Always say goodbye.

sfxmum · 16/04/2008 10:42

always good bye cheery and firm

mishymoo · 16/04/2008 10:43

Always goodbye with "have fun and see you soon"

Original poster

Swedes · 16/04/2008 10:50

Ah. Thank you all kind ladies. I am glad a goodbye is the correct thing to do, the alternative would feel all wrong. Perhaps I'm just imaginging a member of staff looking at me as though I'd just stood in dog shit as I said goodbye.

OP posts:

cheesesarnie · 16/04/2008 10:54

if a member of staff does that to you ask them why then explain that it would feel wrong to you!

Original poster

Swedes · 16/04/2008 10:58

Member of staff is really lovely. I just wondered if I'd got it all wrong and the new thinking was to slope off. Her look was probably more - Oh no they are going to crumple.

OP posts:

youngbutnotdumb · 16/04/2008 11:10

My 22 month old DS started nursery 2 mornings a week in February and I always say goodbye to him but he's never been bothered t be honest he just goes in and looks around for his friends! I always make a point of saying bye when I'm at the door ready to leave as I know if he did start to cry I would stay there and comfort him but that's why the staff are there. He's not a cuddly child o no point in trying for a hug even when I come to pick him up he runs over to the door sas hi and goes to play again!!! Is this normal anyone know?

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