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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

make up and small girls

72 replies

time4tea · 11/04/2008 18:55

I was chewing this over with a friend who is a mum of 2 DDs (I have DSs) Her DS1 (just 4) keeps asking for play makeup. friend wasn't willing to get it for her. I feel sympathetic when considering the very disturbing sexualisation of small girls' clothes etc aspect but also see that there is a lot of creativity in messing about with makeup or facepaints. plus lots of other adult behaviour is modelled in play.

we wondered how other MNers found this issue

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No1ErmaBombeckfan · 11/04/2008 18:59

I give my DD (who's 3) tinted lipbalms and she tried her hand with granny's makeup (I don't wear any)- which was v funny ...

However, I draw the line at make-up parties that are aimed at tweenies and hopefully can keep her off the muck until she is a lot older (teens/young adult)

MrsMacaroon · 11/04/2008 19:29

My dd is 2.5 and loves nothing more than slapping it on... can't imagine why anyone would have a problem with it.

hana · 11/04/2008 19:31

i wouldn't want my 4 year old girl playing with makeup, not at that age , think it's still too young to mess about with it. I have a 6 year old who has a lip balm and she loves it - calls it her lipstick.

I don't wear much makeup at all, its not something that they ever ask about or would see me doing

ChocolateRockingHorse · 11/04/2008 19:34

I don't think that the way small girls plaster make up on, when left to their own devices, can really be classed as "sexualisation". Little boys like to wear it sometimes too, although usually they are deliberately aiming for the clown look whereas little girls achieve it by accident

DD went to a "hair and make-up" party last year, at 8.. she had a lovely time and came out with a gorgeous french plait with glitter in, a little glittery eye make up and some lip balm. I really don't think she looked at all sexualised but perhaps I am laid back about this.

I think perhaps that any adult who is sexually attracted to children will not be made worse by them playing at wearing make up, to be honest.

JimJammum · 11/04/2008 19:40

Personally, I think there is a difference between kids playing at home with make-up and dressing up clothes etc, as part of "play", and little girls trotting round shopping centres with make-up and heeled shoes on. The first is fine, and probably a good developmental activity, but the second is not imo.
Maybe your friend can accept the make-up play in the safety of her own home only....

ChocolateRockingHorse · 11/04/2008 19:44

Well my DD (now 9) likes to wear a little (glitter type) makeup to school discos and has shoes with little heels for such occasions. Can't say I have a problem with that either. My others are boys and DD and I enjoy the "girly stuff" together. It doesn't feel inappropriate; should it I wonder? (Not a confrontational question.. genuinely wondering)

Hulababy · 11/04/2008 19:44

My 6yo has some play make up - you can hardly see it as it is really pale when applied even though it looks vivid in the pot. She only uses it for playing and dress up at home and then very rarely. She in no way looks sexualised when she has put it on herself. She never goes outside with it on.

I remember playing with my mum's and nana's make up when I was little. It was fun to do. Now I wear little make up, didn't even as a teenager either. So not thing t caused me any problems.

Seona1973 · 11/04/2008 19:44

my dd(4) loves playing with her make up at home. She has a small make up box similar to mine with a few pale eyeshadows, some lip glosses and some glittery powder. She gets ds (1 1/2) roped in and he gets to wear it too. I think it is harmless fun.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 11/04/2008 19:45

Hmm. Well that's another thing.. I bang it on by the trowelful (not prositute style I hope! .. I just tend to wear a fair amount.. I think I need it!) so I suppose DD is obviously going to be interested. (Although she's pretty as a picture and doesn't need it!)

expatinscotland · 11/04/2008 19:47

DDs love playing with it.

They have a little box with it, and when DD1 goes to birthday parties she loves having her face brushed with glittering powder and glitter spray in her hair.

cocolepew · 11/04/2008 19:48

It's not as if small girls are going to put in on in a 'normal' way. They always look like coco the clown. Harmless fun.

morningpaper · 11/04/2008 19:50

My 2 (5 and 2) love playing with my make-up and I let them. I don't see the need to make it an 'adult' thing.

The other day when we were leaving for the shops, the 2 year old asked for "my lipstick!" before she left

When DD (5) goes to parties, I put glittery eyeshadow and blusher and sparkly gloss on her. She LOVES it. She looks in the mirror and thinks she looks fantastic and amazing and completely different.

I don't see it as a sexual thing. It's just a dressing up thing for me. I think make-up is just a fun part of women's lives and they enjoy role-playing that.

I think what's important is that I try to install healthy body images and tell them that they are great and fantastic EVERY DAY.

High heeled shoes though are gross.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 11/04/2008 19:53

DD's aren't gross MP, they are cute and she adores them, so arse holes to you, with bells on

Countingthegreyhairs · 12/04/2008 15:30

Each to their own, but it personally makes me shudder slightly when I see young children wearing make-up ...they are all so radiantly gorgeous at that age ... can't bear the thought of anything 'artificial' touching their skin ....something to do with besmirching the purity of their peach-blossom cheeks ... if that makes any sort of sense at all ... ...

... but I'm an old-fashioned grumplebum who wasn't allowed to wear any myself until I was about 17 (and that was a tube of strawberry flavoured lip gloss intended for someone 9 years younger) so I'm probably just subliminally getting my revenge now ...

Also aware this view is due to my adult associations regarding cosmetics and nothing to do with how children innocently slap it on ...

a baby-sitter very kindly gave dd (4.5) a present of some glittery child make up not long ago and dd begged and begged to wear it until I was utterly worn down and gave in - at which point she was so excited she slathered the entire contents of the box all over her face - about an inch thick - wore it for the rest of the day pleased as punch - and then the novelty was over quick as it had started ...

Countingthegreyhairs · 12/04/2008 15:32

On a more serious note, the commercialisation of all this glittery stuff in shops, aimed at pre-teens makes me a wee bit uncomfortable ...

ChocolateRockingHorse · 12/04/2008 15:34

I think there are bigger things to worry about in life to be honest. But that's just MHO

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2008 15:42

what I find uncomfortable is the Playboy merch aimed at young girls...glittery stuff is ok to a point I mean its cute! ...I allow my DDs to wear a little lip-gloss...or salve/vaseline...they have played with make-up but DD1 has sensitive skin she tends to stay away from it..

hercules1 · 12/04/2008 15:45

A year ago I'd have said it was vile on little girls etc etc. However dd aged 4 is currently wearing pink nail varnish, pink eyeshadow and clear glittery lip thing. It's not sexual, or a grown up thing at all. Just fun.

Remotew · 12/04/2008 15:48

Nothing wrong with play make up at all. Most of it is so pale you can hardly see it. Little girls love mimicking mum. Same goes for with a bit of glitter and gloss for a party.

Most parents wouldnt let their pre teens (or teens) go out looking over made up.

No1ErmaBombeckfan · 12/04/2008 15:55

Is this a good time to hijack and ask how to remove waxy, lurid lipbalm from clothes??

They have all their lives to experiment and be grown up - mine are still pretty acquiescent, but things change quickly in these parts...

barnstaple · 12/04/2008 16:00

I'm afraid I'm another of those grumpy women who shudders at the sight of little girls in make-up! Unfortunately, although I banned make up when dd was little (she's 8 now) dh took her shopping with him when she was about 3.5 and they came home with some play make-up from Woolies. I was furious, but it was too late and he simply wouldn't go back on it! (Is it worth divorcing over make-up? Obviously I decided it wasn't; possibly a mistake!).

Anyway that started it off and there's no going back. I put my foot down about going out in it though. I said she could use it in the house, but no going out in it. We're still at that stage, though the last 3 school discos have seen one or two of her class mates wearing make up, so I did let her have a tiny bit on for the last one.

On the plus side, she is learning how to put it on nicely and is quite good when I say things like "that's really rather a lot, I think you should wipe some of that eyeshadow off". By the time she's a teenager, she'll be very good with it. It's getting more and more subtle as time goes on - sometimes you would hardly believe she had any on! She's also far less obsessed with it, though she will save up her pocket money and spend it in Boots (she's got herself some Bio-Oil ) which she religiously rubs on at night.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 12/04/2008 16:08

What do you think will happen if she goes out with a little glitter on her face? Do you think she might be pounced on by waiting paeodophiles?

Not meaning to be offensive - just seems to be that parents often get themselves stressed over nothing. There really are so many genuine things to stress over.

MadameCh0let · 12/04/2008 16:12

As my dd is only five, she is not trying to look pretty, she jsut daubs it on, smudgy and looks a bit of a sight!

I don't buy it for her, but she won some make up at a party. She LOVES it. I have decided to just let her get on with it.

After a bit of a think, I have come to the conclusion that it is harmless at this age. Its at that pre-teen or tweenie age that I would feel more inclined to put my foot down. Children from about 9+ are trying to look prettier and that is a bit more worrying.

My daughter couldn't care less if the lipgloss is on her eye-lids or in her hair. She just as fun applying it.-

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2008 16:12

Just like me Herc!..lol..in the past I was soo adamant they would be make-up free but they enjoy it and tbh it's Fun..I did about 10 little faces at my nieces sleep over recently

MadameCh0let · 12/04/2008 16:13

PS my dd wears little girl clothes. Not fashionable clothes for a 5 yr old.

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