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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

make up and small girls

72 replies

time4tea · 11/04/2008 18:55

I was chewing this over with a friend who is a mum of 2 DDs (I have DSs) Her DS1 (just 4) keeps asking for play makeup. friend wasn't willing to get it for her. I feel sympathetic when considering the very disturbing sexualisation of small girls' clothes etc aspect but also see that there is a lot of creativity in messing about with makeup or facepaints. plus lots of other adult behaviour is modelled in play.

we wondered how other MNers found this issue

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

barnstaple · 12/04/2008 17:04

Chocolaterockinghorse, I don't think anything is going to happen to her if she were to go out with make up on, and I really am not stupid enough to think a paedophile is going to pounce on her (at any time, really). I just think it looks horrible on little girls.

She has passed the stage where she thinks it is just fun - dressing up etc. She now does it because she thinks it makes her look like the teenagers she sees. I don't think it makes her look prettier or more sophisticated (which she thinks); I think it makes her look horrible and I don't like it.

Jacanne · 12/04/2008 17:07

My dds have children's make-up - they use it when they are playing dress-up and they usually end up looking hilarious. It doesn't bother me at all at this stage because it's all part of "pretend play". I think that I will be more bothered about it when she is older and likely to make it less available then - I wouldn't let her go out in make-up.

FYIAD · 12/04/2008 17:10

I think the arguement about make up being somehow worse at puberty is spurious

I agree with twiglett

covering your face with slap at 12 is one of life's milestones

FYIAD · 12/04/2008 17:11

I think girls swimming in nail varnish and lip gloss at 5 just look spoilt

Twiglett · 12/04/2008 17:11

is 9 now puberty .. I was blithely thinking 13 .. yes I see your point

FYIAD · 12/04/2008 17:12

9 is not necessarily puberty

13 is still the norm I believe

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2008 17:13

Spoilt?...damn! I thought shouting at your mother 'I want a baby annabell and you want it now!' was spoilt!..lol

foxythesnowfox · 12/04/2008 17:21

I got quite angry with the suggestion that it was a sexual thing (then I re-read the OP!). I agree with the clothes thing, but its mimicking, dressing up, role-play and not pulling on a boob tube, slapping some lippy on and going on the pull!

Give then a lip balm and let them play at Mummy. Not that I ever have time to put slap on

FYIAD · 12/04/2008 17:27

when I see little girls in nail varnish and high wellies I thinnk 'there is a mum who can't bear to say no'

janeite · 12/04/2008 17:39

I think for dressing up, it's fine from about the age of six. However, the idea of any child under teenage wearing makeup or heels etc to "go out" eg to school disco or something really makes me feel uncomfortable, although I don't have a problem with a bit of hair glitter or really pale pink nail varnish.

Dd1 is 13 and has just started wearing a tiny bit of eyeliner occasionally. I still don't let her wear heels though. Dd2 is 10 and has grown out of the make up for dressing up thing and has no interest in the make up for make up's sake thing. Tbh she'd rather have a pair of converse!

ElenorRigby · 12/04/2008 18:51

My DD is nearly 8 months and Dp's DD is 5. I won't be playing make up with either of them until they are in their teens, I dunno it just seems wrong to me.

EffiePerine · 12/04/2008 18:55

I really don't like it, but

DISCLAIMER ONE: I don't have a daughter
DISCLAIMER TWO: I too was banned from make up/pierced ears until I was 13 - I think heels were banned for even longer

heels on small girls is NOT a good idea, surely, but from postural/mobility rather than aesthetic reasons?

soapbox · 12/04/2008 19:16

For many 9 is the onset of puberty - I would say around half of my DD's school class are now sprouting boobs at that age.

I don't like it on children and thankfully my DD has never really been into using it. She'll do her nails now and again if she has a friend round but otherwise never touches it.

She did dust some sparkly powder over her hair before a school disco recently though and some of her friends were wearing a little make up which confirmed my belief that wearing it at this age isn't very cute but erring rather too much towards the hookerish for my own personal tastes!

Having said all of that, I would be far more bothered if she wanted to buy bio oil than wearing a bit of children's make up - that would be going miles too far down the road for me!

ChocolateRockingHorse · 12/04/2008 20:20

My daughter is nine. So pre-puberty. I let her wear a little sparkly make-up and small heels to the schools discos. I don't feel as if I am being a bad mother in any way; I think she looks nice, not old before her years (and she certainly doesn't wear those "sexy clothes" you can actually buy in Woolies etc (!) for children her age although she shows interest in being fashionable) but I feel as if some of you think that I am being a bad mother nonetheless.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 12/04/2008 20:22

(However I am in good company; many of DD's friends mums allow their daughters too as well and I am not talking "scummy types" here - those were my words, not anyone elses.

I also feel that when some of you who don't yet have a 9/10 year old daughter, do have one, some of you will feel differently.)

barnstaple · 12/04/2008 20:33

If dd was satisfied with a bit of glitter that would be fine, but she likes the whole bloody slap. That's what I don't like. She's 9 and it just looks wrong. She's quite beautiful enough without rouge, eyeliner, lipliner, lipstick, eye shadow etc. and that's what she wants to wear. I hate it. In retrospect, I think dh buying her make up were grounds for divorce!

FYIAD · 12/04/2008 22:25

my god

dd1 is 8.5 and so far away from make up its untrue

hurray for the middle class countryside bubble!

SmugColditz · 12/04/2008 22:35

I will never forget the conversation my mum and dad had about my full face of makeup when I was 12 and heading out to the librayry at about dinner time.

Dad "GET THAT MUCK OFF YOUR FACE YOU ARE NOT LEAVING THE HOUSE LIKE THAT!"

Mum "Let her. And when everyone laughs cos she looks like a clown, she won't do it again, will she!"

SmugColditz · 12/04/2008 22:37

I was wearing foundation, concealer (god knows what I thought I was concealing!), powder, rouge, blue sparkly eyeshadow and pillarbox red lipstick!

FYIAD · 12/04/2008 22:38

oh 12

thats different

I looked rocking at 12 with miners sparkly eyeshadow and roll on plum lip gloss

SmugColditz · 12/04/2008 22:54

I didn't look rocking, I looking like this

lilolilmanchester · 12/04/2008 23:06

I had a friend whose Mum banned make up til she was 16 (FFS). Whilst another friend and I spent many a happy hour experimenting with makeup, the other one got left out. When we were older teenagers, guess what - the two of us who had been messing around with makeup only ever wore the basics and the other one slapped it on like a tart. Yes, I can understand you don't want your little ones covered in make up. But I'd rather DD (10) had a mess around with it at home when she never goes anywhere on her own so that she tones it down before she's out and about on her own.

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