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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

make up and small girls

72 replies

time4tea · 11/04/2008 18:55

I was chewing this over with a friend who is a mum of 2 DDs (I have DSs) Her DS1 (just 4) keeps asking for play makeup. friend wasn't willing to get it for her. I feel sympathetic when considering the very disturbing sexualisation of small girls' clothes etc aspect but also see that there is a lot of creativity in messing about with makeup or facepaints. plus lots of other adult behaviour is modelled in play.

we wondered how other MNers found this issue

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Frizbe · 12/04/2008 16:15

What wrong with a bit of lipgloss and nail varnish at 4?? didn't you ever do dressing up? I used to wade around in donated 6 inch stilettos I kid you not.

ChocolateRockingHorse · 12/04/2008 16:16

Exactly - it's fun All you stroppy women are missing out on some mummy and daughter time, when you play with make up together Even if you don't wear it normally; in fact especially if you don't!

And don't excludes the DSs! You can do great face painting with normal make-up - it actually works much better than cheap old face paint crayons from toy shops.

girlfrommars · 12/04/2008 16:18

I really don't like makeup for little girls. To me it goes with dressing them as mini adults.

It's probably harmless on an 8 year old, but I'd be more worried that if I said ok to a little make-up at that age, what would they be wearing by 12/13?

AbbeyA · 12/04/2008 16:20

I am really glad that I have boys-I hate it on children.

Indith · 12/04/2008 16:23

I got given a make up set as a child. It was great to draw pictures with! You could use the mascara to get really realistic eyelashes

ChocolateRockingHorse · 12/04/2008 16:25

Boys like to play too AbbeyA! I did a great spider man design on my DS with a lipstick and an eye liner!

Ineedacleaner · 12/04/2008 16:28

DD 4 loves playing with make up, it is a huge treat to her. SHe is certainly not looking like a little adult. I don't sit there and do her up with the full works looking like me on a night out she has a few wee bits of mine she is allowed to play with puts blue eyeshadow on her cheeks, a bit of lip gloss on stuff like that. It is not part of her daily routine and we don't dress her up in make up to go out it is just a bit of fun sopying mummy in the same way she breast fed her dolly when ds was born, she washes her tea set in a little bowl while helping me in the house that sort of thing.

She also puts in on her little brother, my mum and MIL and her Grandad (who I can't imane letting me put make up on him when I was little)

AbbeyA · 12/04/2008 16:29

Yes-I suppose that you are right ChocolateRockingHorse! I don't mind girls with glitter and butterflies, or to go with dressing up if they are having imaginative games-it is more make up as the end product that I dislike.

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2008 16:30

I don't wear make-up on a regular basis..I wear lipgloss or a little eye-liner...I think to ban something automatically makes it more desirable...I've explained to my DDs that skin needs to breathe and make-up can be damaging...but if they want to play and it's not affecting their skin occassionally it's cool...I think the need to wear it because it makes you prettier is worrying...

ChocolateRockingHorse · 12/04/2008 16:31

I take it none of your little girls have taken their ballet/tap classes to the "festival" stage? You have to coat them with the works.. full foundations, eye shadow (mauve) and red lipstick/liner! It's because they look washed out on stage otherwise (and they do without the makeup) but even so, and even with MY aforementioned laid back attitude to play make up, this was too much for me! I felt like I was forcing DD into thar God-awful american pageant culture!

Was so glad when she gave it all up to concentrate on her swimming!

magnolia74 · 12/04/2008 16:33

Well with 4 girls its impssible to have no make up
Dd1 is almost 13 and wears it in a lovely well applied subtle way (better than me at her age )

The twins are 8 and its for playing at home and occasional disco's,
Dd4 is nearly 5 an dhas some light nail varnishes and lip gloss but thats it

I am sure ds1 who is 16 months will want to join in soon enough

Even Dh has let the girls make him up!! Was hilarious

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2008 16:34

mauve???....lol...that Pageant make-up is taking the p*ss imo!

ChocolateRockingHorse · 12/04/2008 16:36

The eyes don't look mauve under the stage lights.. but they still look mildly hookerish when you're making them up (this job falls to mum )

Def don't get into the dance culture for your DDs

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2008 16:36

lol@Mag we did DH up with eyeshadow,lipstick the works! and he has a goatee!!

FYIAD · 12/04/2008 16:38

mine aren't in the slightest bit interested - apart from 2 year old dd3 who is obsessed with mashing her fingers into my make up then wiping Laura Mercier all over the duvet

dd1 (8) went to a party where they did her hair and painted her toenails, she loved it but has never shown any interest in it since

magnolia74 · 12/04/2008 16:38

Dh has a goatee too and is 6'5

girlfrommars · 12/04/2008 16:43

Little children dressing up, playing etc. doesn't bother me at all. It's when they start to get a bit older and they're targeted with make-up created for tweenies.

My mother wouldn't let me go to disco dancing classes as a child and I was annoyed about it for years. Now I can see exactly why she said no!

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2008 16:46

Mag I bet he looked Fantastic!..lol

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2008 16:47

I know where you are coming from girl...this tweenies stuff creeps me out...they have so little time to just be children..

Twiglett · 12/04/2008 16:48

children in make-up makes me shudder, I find it totally inappropriate under puberty

dressing up is different

DD doesn't have make-up, has never asked and will not be allowed if she does .. might have something to do with my anti-Barbie stance of the fact that out of all her princess and fairy dresses the only dressing-up outfit she'll wear is the red power ranger

MadameCh0let · 12/04/2008 16:51

It's actually more shuddery at around puberty imo.

Mumcentreplus · 12/04/2008 16:52

I hate BARBIE ...I was a Sindy girl myself..lol...so fake and just goddamn annoying..my DDs don't really have dressing up stuff although I did a home-made lady pirate outfit a while back and a Native American one too...

Twiglett · 12/04/2008 16:53

I don't agree .. I think puberty is when hormonally and physically one is changing from child to woman. Whilst the psyche lags behind this change, the psychological interest in one's own appearance does change .. at this point it is normal for a child to experiment with how make-up makes them feel, or different hairstyles, or different clothes

before this stage the child should just realise they're beautiful

well that's my take on it at this moment, and I'm sticking to it

MadameCh0let · 12/04/2008 16:59

Twiglett, That's precisely why it's more worrying at 9ish, and why I wouldn't let my daughter use make-up properly at that age.

A 9 or 10 yr old is capable of using the make-up to appear more attractive, and is more aware of her femininity and sexuality (even though still so innocent).

Therefore she is sadly MUCH more at risk from paedophile attention. Sad but true.

A five year old swimming in nail varnish and get lip gloss on her lips (and chin) is not really sending out any sexual signal. It might as well be toothpaste or tomato ketchup on their faces.

Ineedacleaner · 12/04/2008 17:01

I think at puberty it IS then a bit more sexualised and possibly a bit more worrying than a 4 or 5 year old girl putting blue and purple stripes on her sheeks with her mums make-up. When I was a teenager and started wearing make-up it was because I thought I needed it but as a child playing with my sisters make-up it never occired to me that I was anything but beautiful anyway.

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