Temper tantrums out of control HELP!!

[Unicorn911]

I have two boys 1 aged 11 and 1 aged 3 nearly 4. Over the last few weeks/ months, my 3 year olds temper tantrums have got drastically worse and I am starting to worry.
He has daily temper tantrums (at least 1 a day) and they will last on average an hour each time. If something is different in his routine or if he can’t get his own way he loses control. He stops walking if we are out and screams and shouts while crying, he doesn’t listen or follow instructions (he doesn’t follow instructions well anyway) if we are at home he slams doors, throws everything he can get hold of. I have tried to ignore these temper tantrums and I have tried praising good behaviour and ignoring bad. I have tried reward charts and good behaviour systems and this work for a day or two then it all unfolds. I have tried naughty corner and sanctions but these have no effect on him. He continues to shout and scream.
These temper tantrums are now effecting my eldest son. He hates listening to youngest screaming and is spending more and more time in his room away from everyone else. His behaviour is also impacting my two cats. They hide when he is around and it is impacting their eating.
I don’t know what else to do and i’m not sure where to turn. I think I might be pregnant again so would like to help him now before things change again.
any advice would be most welcome

That sounds so difficult @Unicorn911

Is he in Nursery? Have they said anything about his behaviour?

How does he do on this simple 3.5 year progress checker?

He is in nursery 4 mornings a week and one full day. They haven’t mentioned anything they are worried about to me. He behaves well and follows instructions while there and they believe he is developing as he should. He seams to behave during the day and then lose control once he is home. I did the questions you suggested and from my answers, it may be that my child needs more support with understanding, talking, social communication. I think I should seek help from my GP. Thank you ❤️🙂

If you're in the UK I'd speak to your HV and tell her that you've done the progress checker from Speech & Language UK and tell her the results. The very least she should do is to refer him for a hearing test and some speech and language therapy.

It's probably also worth filling in the 4 year Ages & Stages and the 4 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stages and ask your HV to score them.

Not an expert by any means but could it be that his nursery routine is different from his home one eg what time he eats?