Violent Toddler - HELP!

[KazMa]

My DS is 21 months and is a lovely boy BUT can be very aggressive at times for no reason.
Examples:

• At the park he pushes other kids very aggressively, he does not want them going on any of the play equipment.
• At nursery he is “very handsy” - grabs kids by their clothes, pushes, tries to sit on kids.
• Does not want to share at all! If he sees another child with a toy he will try snatch it off them (even if he’s playing with something else)

I am concerned by a few other behaviours - inability to sit still (constantly moving), short attention span, easily distracted & speech delay. Also, if we tell him off he freezes like a statue! even if it’s just a “no!”

Is this normal behaviour or could there be more to it? Any similar experiences or advice would be welcome!

My DS was like this from about 15m-2.5. I had to shadow him at softplay so closely to make sure nothing happened. He was a bit better in outdoor spaces like parks but if it was busy it would still be a challenge. I still am reluctant to let him ‘just go’ now even though he has largely grown out of this. I’m afraid I can’t answer the question as to whether there is something neurodivergent about it as he’s only 3y8m now and I’m not 100% sure myself yet. But I would say he has massively grown out of most of the behaviours and now only does it if he’s way over excited, over stimulated or over tired. I read his signals very closely and if there’s any sign he might be in this sort or mood we take a break/leave/distract. He has a little brother and they only have a 22m age gap and bizarrely he has always been completely gentle with him and they have the most beautiful relationship.

Can you tell us a bit more about the speech delay? Has he had a hearing test and has he been referred to SLT?