Dad here requiring advice on fairly disturbing scenario. My girl, very nearly 5, has 9-year-old male cousin (very nearly 10) she idolises & sees maybe 4x a year. Over last couple of months, our daughter made few throwaway references to a 'game' where her cousin kisses her naked bum. Obviously kids come up with all kind of 'rude' silliness, but we filed it away as something to be vigilant of.
So a few days ago, my sister & nephew (the boy cousin in question) come to stay for night. He suggests within a few minutes that the kids go upstairs to play. My missus goes up to check on them a couple of minutes after that to find bedroom door closed. Nothing untoward is going on, but she insists to the kids that door remains open. A few minutes after that, I decide to go upstairs myself unannounced. As I ascend, I hear my daughter cheerily (chillingly for me) exclaim, 'Now kiss my fanny!' I quicken my pace to see from balcony my nephew leap up from the bed area behind the wall. He's looking flushed tho' fullyclothed, but my daughter is sitting on bed with knickers & tights around her ankles, grinning as if some horseplay had been afoot. I play it cool & emphasise to my nephew that if a younger child starts to expose themselves, he needs to seek out the adults or he could get in trouble. I then take my daughter downstairs & inform my sister & missus of what I witnessed. They separately go up & talk to their individual kids.
What they managed to glean was that, yes, the older cousin had been instigating a 'game' where he kissed his younger cousin's naked bottom, apparently only that 'end' so far. He denied being exposed to pornography or inappropriate material by schoolchums or other adults. He claimed he simply had the 'urge' to try this out. Obviously his mum & then I had chat with him about how serious this was & that the police would be involved if it happened again. To be fair, he looked frightened.
My sister could not apologise enough & the visit continued as normal, tho' the kids weren't left alone for a second. Upon returning home, my nephew's father also had stern word. My sister says she feels there's more to uncover about the origin of this behaviour.
So my question is how abnormal is this incident? Labelling a 9/10 year old a nascent 'paedo' seems an overreaction & very damaging to him. Can this type of 'experimentation' just come out of the blue or is there likely some bad influence? As much as the incident itself, it's my nephew's deviousness which I find alarming. He was obviously looking forward to resuming the 'game' as he couldn't wait 10 minutes to repeat it once he was in his younger cousin's company. Does he need a child psychiatrist? He's a gamer & I think he has fairly unrestricted & unmonitored access to internet in that context. He hasn't physically started puberty yet but he's not far off & I daresay hormones are already impacting him mentally. How would you lot out there handle this? Thanks in advance for your insights.