Please help! We are at our wits end

[Fawn68]

Hi wondering if anyone has been through something similar, and can offer some advice.

We are having extremely challenging behaviour with Our 4 year old (almost 5).From morning to night it is just non stop, very hyper but bad behaviour. He will punch and hit me and his father constantly. He has 2 younger brothers, and if he is with us 1-1 we generally have no bother but once our middle child gets up from a nap then all hell breaks loose. It's got unbearable and is really interfering with family life. But the tantrums are extreme to the point he hurts us or damages things in the house.

I have spoke with his teacher who said at school he is one of the kindest little boys and they have no problems with him.

I have spoken to my GP and 3 different health visitors now who have assessed him and said there's no red flags to warrant a referral for autism or adhd.

I really cannot take anymore of this behaviour, I cry on a daily basis because of this and I am mentally and physically exhausted because of him. He is making us feel very miserable and cannot enjoy family life.

The things we have tried are;

-Bedroom for timeout
-Taking Tv or iPad off him (which he rarely gets anyway)
-not getting to relavtives houses
-no treats

Sorry for the long story but please if anyone can offer some positive advice?

I have spoken to my GP and 3 different health visitors now who have assessed him and said there's no red flags to warrant a referral for autism or adhd

God I wish I had a quod for every time I was told that about DC2. Finally got a referral at the Triage appointment they said that DC is showing significant signs of both and "a diagnosis shouldn't come as a shock".

Has anyone recommended The Explosive Child yet?

@CadyEastman

How did you get an appointment?

No they haven't, I've never heard of it but I will look now

They have said to us that because this is only happening in the family home and not outside of it then the issues lies within home. Like a jealousy thing etc!

They had a catastrophic meltdown at school and finally people actually agree that they might need some support. So bloody frustrating because if they'd listened and given the support beforehand instead of dismissing my concerns, things would never have got that bad.

Have a look at the Zones of Regulation too

@CadyEastman thankfully though someone finally listened to you!

I think the issue we are having is that he's totally 100% outside of this house.

Thank you very much I will do x