I am at a loss at how to deal with DS3's bedwetting - I'm pretty sure we are doing all the right stuff - any ideas?

[MehgaLegs]

DS3 is 4.7. He is totally dry and clean in the day and has been for over 2 years.

He still wets the bed nearly every night.

He does not drink after 5 and has only water after school (was told milk and juice can irritate the bladder and cause bed wetting)

He drinks well in the day. School drink bottle always empty.

Wees last thing before getting into bed.

We lift him at 9.30 - 10ish but often he is already wet, not just wet but soaked.

If not wet and we lift him he does a massive pee in loo without really waking.

Most days he will wake up wet, soaked, often two stains on the sheet which would indicate he has weed twice. Very strong smell.

Last night I mistakenly took him for a wee at 12 not realising DH who'd gone up early had already done it at 10.

He was dry this morning.

Don't want to go back to pull ups/pj pants as they aggravate his eczema and the itching keeps him awake. Also psychologically a step backwards IMO. Can't spend all night lifting him at two hourly intervals

Any ideas?

I am sorry but he just sound as if he is ready to be dry at night just yet. That is not uncommon - many children are still wet at this age, and far older too.

DD is almost 6 and if she drinks anything bar water after about 3pm she is guaranteed to wet the bed. It was after the age of 5 that she started to be consistently dry at all - and she hd been PYd during the dyay since 24 months. She was desperate to be dry at night too so not from want of trying. We tried lifting and it made no difference.

There simply isn't a way IMO and IME to train nighttime dryness. It ust happens eventually, normally before the age of 7 years old.

We had bed mats over the top of DD's sheet. They are big squares of material tht prevent the wet from soaking the sheets. They cost about £15 each and were from Mothercare. DD refused to wear her resable pull ups at 4yo so these were invaluable as far easier to change the mat than the whole bed.

my DD is almost 5 and I've been lifting her for what sees like ages now! At the start it needed to be three times a night like 9pm, midnight and 3am. Now I just lift her when I go to bed and I'm thinking about stopping that as she's not doing much. I think that their bladder control just matures. I know some would say it is a lot of trouble to go to, but she was desperate to not wear nappies anymore and I was up anyway in the night with my other little ones so to take her for a quick wee wasn't much trouble!

Maybe you could try lifting him once during the evening before you go to bed, and then once as late as possible before you actually go to sleep like you did last night?

the other think that I've found is that DD is much better when she has a nightie on as opposed to PJ bottoms. I also read on MN a while back about someone's DS who was much better with no PJ bottoms on. It's like the feeling of the elastic round their waste or material on their bums is like a nappy when they are asleep. Don't know if you can get him to sleep in just his PJ top?

Hulababy those washable bed mats are good aren't they, I've got one that's built in to the top sheet like this so easy to change, wash and tumble.

Thanks - that's reassuring. DS2 took awhile to be dry at night but not this long.

I have a waterproof mattress protector on his bed but am down to just on e as the other was smelly, even after washing.

I've just replaced his mattress, not with a new one but a spare, as the smell was terrible.

Think I'll invest in some heavy duty mattress protection (thanks for link forkhandles)and persevere with the lifting.

He wants to be dry bless him. He says he just can't help it. I never get crioss just reassure him it'll happen soon. He is a very deep sleeper

There is the theory that by lifting them you are encouraging them to wee while asleep.

If you let him get a full bladder he may well wake himself up (by weeing at first) but you aren't encouraging the signals to develop. His anti-wee hormones haven't kicked in yet at night.

Have you tried those large disposable mats/sheets?

Difficult I know but he will get there!

ds1 is nearly 8 and still wets the bed nearly every night. I used to lift him until about 6 months ago when the GP told me to stop as he didn't wake up when lifted so we were just training him to wee at that time every night.

Nothing i've tried seems to make any difference (restricting fluids after 6, only water to drink etc) Gp has checked for any infection but he is fine.

We are seeing the pead at the hospital on wednesday hopefully to get an alarm to see if that helps.

Ds is getting more concious of it as he has a residential school trip in Sept. and starts cubs next month and will go camping with them in the summer.

I do know that he is not the only one in his class with this problem, it is certainly not uncommon!.

The washing does get me down though!

DS1 - was 2.5yrs and dry day and night straight off.

DS2 - 21 months old and he was not going to wear nappies because his brother didn't.

He got himself dry and it was a doddle during the day. But the night thing - took bloody ages. Like you, did not give anything to drink after a certain time, he always went for a wee before bed, DH always lifted him out of bed before he went and he would do a big wee (even though he was still asleep sat on the toilet), but most mornings he was soaked through.

He obviously went into such a deep sleep as he was completely unaware of what had happened.

DS2 is now 8.4yrs and it has been about a year since we last had an accident.

As he got older, he was embarrassed that he had wet the bed, so much so he would change pj's before we got up and put the wet ones back in his drawer! We never told him off though.

All you can do is wait for him to grow out of it. I know it is a pain washing sheets everyday. We did have a plastic sheet on to protect his mattress.

Just a thought....does he watch TV in the bedroom before going to sleep? If he does I would try stopping that because the flashing lights send signals to the brain (even if he is asleep for a short time before it is switched off) to secrete vasopressin, which in turn stimulates urine production. When it is dark/ night time this hormone level naturally drops so we produce less urine. This is why most people without bladder problems/pregnancy don't tend to get up to wee during the night or if they do only once.

DD doesn't have a TV in her room and isn't allowed to use her DS at bedtme either She goes to bed after a story, sometimes with stories to read to herself. She does have a nightlight as she cannot sleep in pitch darkness.

However this has made no difference to her likliness in wetting or not.

The only thing that definitely makes a difference to her is the drinking. She can have nothing other than water from about 3pm or she will wet.

Ambercat I would strongly recommend not using an alarm, from the perspective of someone who had one. It is absolutely terrifying to be woken with the awful noise it makes in the middle of the night. It resulted in me fighting going to sleep because I was terrified of setting it off. Consequently I got so overtired that I slept so deeply that I didn't wake until I had completely weed IYSWIM It mad things worse.

I eventually grew out of it at age 12. This was in line with the bullying stopping at school. So I would recommend checking if he has any emotional worries as well.

Another vote for 'he's not ready'

I've known 10 year olds wet the bed occasionally - it's really not unusual at 4.

Gorgeous boys, btw!

Ambercat - my neice is like your DS (with Brownie and school trips etc) and her mum bought her some of those older child pull ups PJ-pants things, by Huggies I think, for her to discreetly change in to at bed time and none of her friends noticed.

Hulababy I would try not using the night light if it was my child. Any light source has the effect of stimulating vasopressin release during what should be darkness hours.

At only 4.7y I would agree that it is still quite early days to worry and that he will probably grow out of it naturally.

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Mega ds is 4.11 we have only just STARTED night 'training'

don't know if that helps

tor32 - I'd rather her have the very odd wetting accident (which only happens if she has drank anything other than water later afternoon/evening) than have her upset at night time because of the darkness. FWIW I don't like sleeping in the dark either. The nightlight really does not seem to be the factor that affects her wetting TBH.

Oh dear, afriend recommended trying the alarm as it helped her 9 year old. I will talk to the Dr on wed and see what he says, thanks for the advice though.

He has tried the pull ups when he went away with grandma but hated them! I guess that it may be the lesser of 2 evils though.

Gp also mentioned the nasal spray vassopressin, but i was a lttle reluctant as its not really solving the problem, does anyone have any experience of using this?

Sorry to hijack your thread Mehgalegs

Amber that wasn't around when I had my probs. It would probably help though because it would affect the hormone levels and hopefully reduce urine production- not sure exactly how it works though.

Just to say, I know its a pain but dont worry.My dd (7yo) still needs lifting.

I started taking her at 9ish and 12ish and that seemed to keep her dry.
Now she only needs taking once, but feel I wont need to do this for much longer.

I really dont have a problem with it and believe it will come in time.
Ive never restricted drinks,dd loves her milk before bed.

know of someone who allowed her son aged 12 to use the spray for sleepovers and cub/scout camp . he was 13 when he stopped and it just happened .

dd2 was consistently wet until five and a half. I refused to "train" her (and was among a number of people accused of being lazy and wrong by moondog on a particularly unpleasant thread). one night she said "I don't want to wear pull ups any more" so I took them off and she's been dry ever since. don't stress about it - really not worth it.

Another vote for don't worry. It really does sound like he's not ready yet, and you can either lift him twice or even three times a night.

He's old enough for you to discuss it with him; it may be that he won't find going back to pull-ups (or even nappies) too much of a psychological problem if he's part of the "decision process". Not sure what the answer to the eczema is though; LOADS of cream perhaps? Sorry.

amber cat my ds (12) uses the nasal spray unless he has hay fever then he uses the tablets. His pead says he isnt producing enough hormones yet. Am a bit concerned though as his dad was an adult wetter (!) The spray does work really well. Megalegs If the urine smells too bad maybe an infection? My ds also sleeps really heavily so he doesnt wake till morning when hes wet throuhg. I have found that no matter what he drinks it makes no difference i think it is alittle cruel to restrict their fluid intake (sad)Also he goes scout and mainly uses the spray/tabs then.