I am at a loss at how to deal with DS3's bedwetting - I'm pretty sure we are doing all the right stuff - any ideas?

[MehgaLegs]

DS3 is 4.7. He is totally dry and clean in the day and has been for over 2 years.

He still wets the bed nearly every night.

He does not drink after 5 and has only water after school (was told milk and juice can irritate the bladder and cause bed wetting)

He drinks well in the day. School drink bottle always empty.

Wees last thing before getting into bed.

We lift him at 9.30 - 10ish but often he is already wet, not just wet but soaked.

If not wet and we lift him he does a massive pee in loo without really waking.

Most days he will wake up wet, soaked, often two stains on the sheet which would indicate he has weed twice. Very strong smell.

Last night I mistakenly took him for a wee at 12 not realising DH who'd gone up early had already done it at 10.

He was dry this morning.

Don't want to go back to pull ups/pj pants as they aggravate his eczema and the itching keeps him awake. Also psychologically a step backwards IMO. Can't spend all night lifting him at two hourly intervals

Any ideas?

This might sound really silly - but we were told to make sure DD had a drink within moments of waking up - it is something to do with the hormone (or something) & we do reasonably well with that

Thanks for advice about the spray, maybe something to use when he goes away rather than all the time.

The alarm really isn't recommmended for anyone under 7 in any case.
We did use it for ds1 and it worked a treat but didn't work for ds2, mainly because he shared a room with ds1 and ds1 was far more bothered about the noise than ds2 and used to get up and disable it entirely, not just switch it off, and allow ds2 to go back to peeing in peace!
Honestly megalegs, your ds3 is still very young for you to be worried about this.

dd1 has only just stopped bedwetting (just before she was 7) and dd2 (nearly 5) wets occasionally too.

My DD1 wore pull ups until just before she was 5, totally fine through the day but something hadnt clicked at night. I never tried to do <span class="italic">anything</span>. Not sure whats best re: skin though......thats a hard one. What other products are there? Those shorts? Are they the same type of thing?

My DD2 is 3.5 and no sign of dry nights. However, her twin was dry at night at the very same time he mastered being dry in the day. No rhyme or reason to it all.

broadly a child could:

not have the right maturity of connections to/from brain/bladder

have "irritable" or small bladder

not produce enough desmopressin, the hormone which makes teh bladder go into nighttime mode.

will try and post link re: this tomorrow.

bundle, thats interesting. I'll watch for your link......

Thats the stuff thats in the spray. It replaces the hormone that isnt there yet. But in my case ds 12 should i be worried ???

Have a look here

I am also with the "not ready yet" camp. Both of my children were very late to be nappy-free - ds was well over 5 before he was dry at niight. He just wore pyjama pants. Once he was ready, he was dry and we've only had a couple of wet beds since. I don't think it would do any harm to put him back to pull ups - you could explain that his miscles aren't strong enough to get him through the night yet and you can try again when they are. I bet he's be a bit relieved - even if he doesn't show it, he must be a bit bothered by the constant wet beds, poor lamb.

Mine were both dry by 3. But not because of any special work we did - they just have giant bladders and don't sleep that deeply.

Being dry at night isn't down to training or anything you can do - it's down to the child being ready, imo.

Thanks everyone - I am feeling less stressed about it having read all these posts.

We don't make too big a deal of it all but he does say "I'm going to try not to wet the bed tonight mummy."

I alwqys reassure him that it's not a problem if he does and that I'll come and help him if he needs me.

It's interesting to hear the theory about lifting not being a good idea. We used to lift DS2 and it did used to freak him out a bit. I often think lifting him may have led to his sleep walking which in turn seems to be related to hiom needing a wee.

Nightimes can be quite lively in this house!

He doesn't have a tv in his room. He has a story and then bed, he's good at going to bed and falls asleep quickly. We leave the landing light on until we go to bed and then just leave the bathroom light on (hoping he'll find it if he needs it).

Will try switching landing light off when he goed to bed tonight .

I lifted him at 9.30 and 3.30 last night. He was dry and beaming this morning.

Seeker, thanks for the ERIC link. Will peruse.

Mehgalegs so glad you feel less stressed about it and the lifting worked for you.

I tried lifting my DD1 for a bit but it really was more trouble than worth IMHO. I also used to leave lights on but it just made an issue out of it and was awful whenever we stayed somewhere else (once a year but we had trained her to expect it). She is also a sleep walker.........curious.

Now we just expect a broken night and anything else is a bonus. I have so much given up on dry nights that last night I dished out hot chocolates at 7pm because my 3 children had been very, very helpful earlier in the day and I said hot chocolates and lovely bed stories were required even though it was later than normal.

My DS wasn't dry until 7, and we couldn't get a referral to the eneurisis clinic until he was 7 because it is sooo common (although now they take from 6 in our area).

Apart from what you are doing - plenty of drinks in the day (we had to give him LOADS more han he was drinking) we did have a few exercises. The main one was, whenever he wanted to go to the loo we made him wait, and when he actually went he had to try to count to 10 before going. Reasoning was that he HAD to get used to feeling a full bladder. Most kids who wet go in the day as soon as they get the first urge and their bladder needs training in holding more.

Hope this helps

sorry for delay

here's teh link i mentioned, a programme about childhood stuff inc bedwetting

agree with nqc it's abuot the child

It does sound like his anti wee hormones have not appeared yet. We were in a similar situation until recently with 4.6 son in large nappies as the night time pants were not absorbant enough. No amount of restricting fluids helped. All of a sudden over the course of 2 weeks, the nappies were dry from 10-7 as the hormones kicked in. Has now been dry for 2 months but we stil lift at 10.00 just in case. (Have 6 week old baby).

We have layered DS's bed with mattress protecting mats and sheets so that if the worst happens in the night at least only have to take sheets off not make up whole bed.
Poor little mite! Maybe worth talking to the GP if it goes on much past 5?

He is not ready yet. It is normal for a child to still be wetting the bed everynight until they are at least 5 years old and a lot are older then this.
Bieng dry in the day and being dry at night do not have any connections.
Lifting does not help unless you make sure the child is fully awake as it just encourages the child to wee in his sleep.

Sorry not time to read whole thread but just to say that until 7yrs 3m my ds wet every night - I did use PJ pants but often bed still wet as PJ pants got so wet that overflowed. I did take him to the GP - he was kind but just said bear with it and will stop on its own. Eventually over Xmas hols ds went for a sleepover (the mummy was very kind and gave him his clothes to get dressed in bathroom so his friend didn't see the PJ pants) - anyway 3 days later ds said I don't think I'll wear PJ pants any more as X doesn't, and since then he has only wet the bed once - yippee! I didn't ever limit pre bed drinks as I heard that that doesn't necessarily help as it's to do with their body being ready (levels of vasopressin??), not to do with how full bladder is etc. I know this doesn't at all solve your problem,sorry, but I think it perhaps suggests that they will do it on their own when ready and it may be some time yet.

Raise foot end of bed by six inches.

My DS has just stopped and he's 8.5.

Lifting them is not advisable because it needs to be them that are made aware by signals in the brain.

DS was referred to the enuretic clinic once he got to 7. Upto that age it is very common for boys to be wet at night. DS was given charts to fill in. We had to increase his bladder size by making him drink more during the day. He then got an alarm to wear at night. I think a combination of the alarm and his brain maturing has resulted in him being fully dry since christmas.

The main thing is to not make too much of an issue out of it. 4.5 is incredibly early for a boy to be dry at night.

Often the hormone that is needed does not function in boys until much later.

Talk to your Health Visitor or doctor and they will tell you that he is still very young.

Good luck.

My ds1 was wet until just a month before he turned 8. Just tried to get dd out of pull-ups. she turns 6 next month. she was dry for a whole week but kept wetting the bed so put her back into pull-ups. I know its a step back but can't stand the thought of washing just now, will try in the summer. she is dry most nights anyway but just not quite ready to make that final step. As everyone else says your son is still very young.

My ds is 6 and is wet every night, I am firmly in the dont worry about it camp.

I was a bed wetter until I was at least 8 or 9. I can remember the stress I was under, I think that this made it worse tbh. I was put on a short course of medication and it stopped completley.

I plan to wait til ds is 7 before i do anything about it. We use pj pants and don't make an issue of it.

My DPs son was still bed wetting at 17, I made DP take him to the GP. A short course of vasopressin did the trick for him, two years and no more incidents.

Some times the body just needs a kick start to produce the correct amount of desmopressin

my ds1 is 9 and still wet quite often, It a pain but he will grow out of it Has the desmo tabs which do help, aiting an alarm. There is a lot of washing but we ttry not to make too much of a big deal out of it, He is now a bit upset because ds3 (just 3) is dry at night....

dd was wet at night till at least 6, I remember talking to the school nuse about it, and we kept on with the pull up pants. She was just (and still is) a very heavy sleeper, nothing would wake her, certainly not wetness. But around 6 it just seemed to happen overnight!

Hello - late to this one but my step-dd was 10 before she got the nights under control. She had been through a divorce with the mother leaving the home and come trough it seemingly unscathed apart from the bedwetting.

We tried everything. One thing that really did help was seeing a Kinesiologist. At the end of the day it can do no harm. It was found that DDs jaw was very tense and she was grinding her teeth, apparently the jaw and bladder are linked. Once her jaw was released and relaxed it really really helped. It took another year to stop totally but it gave her some confidence that she was not 'stupid' or 'worthless' her words not mine but that it was a medical thing she would learn to confront. We used an alarm and it did work for us. She then over reacted and would get up and wee 4 -5 times a night as she was so scared of 'failing, again, her words. But in time it really helped.

Does DS have nightmares? If we ever heard DD crying or shouting in her sleep we knew she was desperate for a wee and could not wake herself up to go, hence she had an accident. If we ever heard her we would run in quickly and get her up.

It does happen eventually. Its very hard and the child can be very embarrased. Poor DD even kept herself awake until 3am (!!!) at a sleepover so she could go to the loo and be confident she could sleep till 7am dry. It breaks your heart it really does.

But it will happen, you just need to find which buttons to press.