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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Dummy - removal at 4 months but is substitute with muslin/toy any better?

10 replies

sandy06 · 17/03/2008 09:56

Sorry to repeat if this has been covered before, but my son is 4.5 months. He always has been a very sucky baby, and so he has had a dummy up to now. Last week we took away the dummy, (i was fed up keep getting up to put it in) but he still needs to suck for comfort and has replaced it with a toy/muslin. At night though when he wakes up, he still has trouble settling with this combo, whereas the dummy was an immediate path back to sleep. Are there any views on what is better - dummy or muslin, or how we get over the waking at night issue? Or should we just get rid of both altogher? (seems too painful an option for all parties, including our 2 year old who also has some waking issues at night)

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Desiderata · 17/03/2008 09:58

Stick with the dummy. He'll have ditched it by the time he starts work ... I promise

Original poster

sandy06 · 17/03/2008 10:40

do i have to keep putting it back in til he's 18!!? Seriously though, i would love us all to sleep through the night for once...

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Spritedaddy · 17/03/2008 10:52

Hi there,

We used a dummy for my eldest son, when he had a hernia op at 4 months....it continued for a flight to Florida at 6 months but we wanted to ditch it as soon as - just our opinion but we hate the things....seeing toddles and even 6 year olds + etc sucking a dummy just seems weird to us. plus they're a pain in the a*se to keep clean etc. I think it's because you know most people are just being lazy and shoving it in to keep the kid quiet....I think it can lead to impeading speech development etc.

My advice would be to stick with ditching it, we did and after no more than a week of trouble getting to sleep he got over it.

My next son sucks his thumb, so never had that dilema. They both stuff toys up their noses, but we reserve these for bed mostly.

Don't know why, but thumbsucking seems totally different to me - maybe as I'm a commited thumbsucker myself!

SoupDreggon · 17/03/2008 10:53

Ditch it. Toy/muslin much better.

Eddas · 17/03/2008 11:00

IMO i'd just leave him with the dummy if it help him. I know you want to sleep and getting up to give it back to him is a PITA. My ds(now 11 months) has always had a dummy and I kept having to get up and give it back to him but one night I was absoutely shatteres so left him to cry for a while(the on/off crying) and he just went back to sleep the next night I didn't hear him cry at all, bliss

You have to do what you think is right though. You will get varying opinions on here. Some people hate dummies others, like me, swear by them.

Original poster

sandy06 · 17/03/2008 12:04

Thanks for all the comments so far. I have a love/hate relationship with the dummy - it's been so so helpful til now, but I don't want him to be dependent on it. As he is now becoming on the toy/muslin - does anyone think I should just go cold turkey completely and break the sucking habit entirely (if possible)??

OP posts:

Meandmyjoe · 17/03/2008 20:20

I see no need to go cold turkey on the toy/muslin. As for the dummy, our ds was awkward and would never take one from being about 7 weeks old but even before that he would rarely sleep with one so I don't know from experience.

In a way I'm really glad ds doesn't have a dummy (he's 7 months). Less to clean and also I don't have to worry about weaning off or replacing it with anything else to soothe!

This is purely my opinion and I am by no means an expert but I think if you have manged to wean ds off dummy for last week or so then stick with it. It may take a few more nights for him to completely settle without it but you're going to have to do it someday anyway. The longer you leave it, the more dependant he will be on the dummy. I personally don't see the need for dummies after 4- 6 months. I read and was told that until 4 months, some babies have a 'need' to suck. After this age, the suckling 'need' decreases and it purely becomes habbit, after this time, weaning him off it will possibly be harder.

I hate seeing older kids with dummies. I think if your baby needs something extra to comfort him such as the toy or muslin then go with this. He's still very young and is bound to want extra comfort. Good luck!!!!!!

HairyToe · 17/03/2008 20:23

DD2 has dummy at sleeptimes only-it lives by her cot. I put it on a strap and attach it to her sleeping bag. At first I had to go in and help her find it but once she got to about 9 months she could find it herself.

lacarete · 17/03/2008 20:41

I'm for keeping the dummy too - sorry. DS is nearly 3 and I remember saying we'd lose it at 6 months, then a year, then 18 months ... then dd was born and I really didn't have the energy. I do remember an annoying phase when he'd wake just for the dummy - but then friends' babies were waking with no dummy to fall back on and that sounded worse!

He has 2 now and hardly ever wakes in the night, and when he does he finds one of the two. Planning to lose it at 3 (dummy fairy is going to visit) but since he has only ever had it to sleep I have no problem with it anymore. DD has never had a dummy so no probs there.

MuddlingThru · 17/03/2008 20:52

I would ditch the dummy and go for muslin/toy. Dummies are always much harder to find in the middle of the night, my 2 have always had 'blankies' and soon learnt to find them by themselves. Also as others have mentioned you don't have to worry so much about keeping them clean (although make sure you have at least 2 so that 1 can go in the wash). I would prefer them to have a muslin/toy to a dummy as it doesn't impair their ability to speak.

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