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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

daughter's first period advice please!

56 replies

northernrefugee39 · 09/03/2008 18:07

She's just had a sort of browny show, smudge, nothing massive.
I've only got my biggish pads too.....
Which ones do I get tommorrow?
Is the first period likely to be not very much/ or does it vary?
Can't remember, and friends have said different things.

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Original poster

northernrefugee39 · 09/03/2008 18:07

She's 13.

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itsahardknocklife · 09/03/2008 18:11

I don't think it'll be very much - pantyliners might even be enough. She'll need to keep a couple of pads with her though, in her school bag, as they won't be regular so could appear at any time!
Schools keep a supply though, if kids are brave enough to ask!

Wisteria · 09/03/2008 18:15

DD1 had hardly anything the first time and after using a pad overnight, she had nothing for a further 6 months.

DD2 OTOH had a first period which went everywhere and was very heavy for 3 days, then she had two more every 6 weeks but has now settled down to once a month.

I bought them normal pads and then special night time ones.

DD1 started using tampax almost immediately (she was nearly 14) but DD2 doesn't want to, although she is only 11 so is more understandable.

Spagblog · 09/03/2008 18:16

I had the brown smudge months and months before the proper periods began. Panty liners should do it.

janeite · 09/03/2008 18:24

We got some marketed to teenagers in one of those cheapo places - Bodycare or some such. She says they are much better than normal ones as they are slimmer fitting.

colditz · 09/03/2008 18:36

how abpout Bodyform? I remember these were always comfortable and 'nicer' than my mum's Kotex bricks!

Hulababy · 09/03/2008 18:38

I'd go for a thin discrete one, with wings.

Wisteria · 09/03/2008 18:39

You just have to play it by ear so to speak. Thin ones would have been fine for dd1 but not for poor little dd2

Notyummy · 09/03/2008 18:44

Bodyform with wings. Thin but absorbant. Let her choose, but if she asks for guidance, these would be best (or the own brand equivalent). She may want to use tampax slightly later.

IdrisTheDragon · 09/03/2008 18:46

My first period was just brown smudges - had next "proper" one 3 weeks later.

Original poster

northernrefugee39 · 09/03/2008 19:27

Oh thanks!
It's quite emotional!
She's my eldest of three girls, so I'll be well practised soon...
Most of her friends seem to have started, so in a way she's been lucky not to have to deal with it yet, although she has mixed feelings.
I knew it was coming soon, because she got spots and every time she had a tummy ache, I thought that was it.
She doesn't want a fuss or anything tho'- there was a thread on where someone was talking about some kind of celebration,
my d is really low key...
It's not like a barmitzvah or christening is it?
Visions of mother in law arriving with tampons in a silver box to be presented ....no no I'll stop...

I think she's half pee off she has to deal with it and be a grown up, as she's quite tomboyish, and half quite pleased she's like her friends....

OP posts:

phlossie · 09/03/2008 21:26

Ah, I remember getting my first period! Was really self-concious about it. Bodyform are good and really thin. Maybe get her a cheap, funky purse from Primark or somewhere like that to keep them in. I remember my friend being so embarrassed because a pad came out of her bag and got stuck to her shoe without her noticing

branflake81 · 10/03/2008 10:42

My first one was really really heavy. I had a "show" the night before and then what felt like niagra falls (sorry TMI) for the next week. They got less heavy as I got older. Know it's the wrong way round but best to give her full protection rather than risk a mess.

princessosyth · 10/03/2008 10:43

I would buy her a wide selection then she can decide what suits her best.

ajandjjmum · 10/03/2008 10:59

My dd is a total drama queen, and she has amazed me with how well she has coped with her period.

She started with a pretty 'normal' period the week before her 13th birthday. I buy her towels (she prefers the ones without wings) occasionally - when I forget, she gets them. I don't know when she has her period - she has never complained about tummy ache or anything.

She's actually a little star on this one - a nightmare on many things though!

She didn't want me to tell anyone - definitely low key for us!

Original poster

northernrefugee39 · 10/03/2008 11:36

This has all been really helpful, and I'm so grateful.. she still had only little shows this am, but slightly redder, so I guess it'll come properly today.
No pains tho'.
When's the best time to start tampons?
It's all a blur for me... I think I started around 13/14, and had horrid pads.
I remember getting tampax and lillets with my best friend, and spending the afternoon in hysterics locked in the bathroom. We must have been around 14/15.

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MaryAnnSingleton · 10/03/2008 11:41

aww, hope she is ok northern I can remember being 13 and having terrible tummy ache the day before and thinking it must've been the school ravioli I'd had for lunch...was ok,the first one,and then a bit of a gap before the second,where I thought I would bleed to death..I should buy a selection of different sizes to have on hand.

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/03/2008 11:44

btw, I would have rather died than 'celebrate' this - I was dreading it anyway...

Notyummy · 10/03/2008 11:53

Yep, your 'low-key' instincts are right. My mum bought a cake, bless her, in celebration of me 'becoming a woman'. Mum, Dad and I sat round the kitchen table eating chocolate cake and I was MORTIFIED. She was trying to do the right thing, because she didn't have a clue what periods were and thought she was dying when she started hers...she always talked to me about sex/periods etc, so I was well informed. However well informed, teenage girls generally don't want these things broadcast to adults!

BTW, I think I made the shift to tampax about 15/16, but I'm not sure. Started at 12 and used towels for at least a couple of years.

KarisTiasMum · 10/03/2008 11:57

I think to just buy a selection and give her a choice in the best idea. Try not to make too much of an issue of it for her, especially if she is one of the first of her friends to start..

I was 11 when my periods started, the first out of all of friends and far too embarrassed to tell my poor mum for probably whole year (she was devastated when she eventually realised). My mum had a drawer full of towels which was luckily always so full she didnt notice me tucking into it every now and then.
I suppose what i am trying to say is that i did it al myself, with no advice from mum (through my own choice) and coped well with it, as its just a natural process that we are all programmed to deal with. When i eventually told mother, she drove me mad with being over the top and over helpful (she didnt realise i had being dealing with it for a long time already).
Obviously this may completely not apply to your daughter as she may be the opposite to how i was and really need the extra support, but i just personally wanted no fuss and to just get on with it.

the most important thing is to advise her to maybe 'over' protect (until she is familiar enough to know what to use and when), even if her periods are light. The last thing she or you would want is for her to have an accident or overflow, and then make a normal/should-be calm exerience into a trauma!!

i hope that helps!

hifi · 10/03/2008 12:53

i got a free holder on a packet of bodyform, it will help disguise them in her school bag. i was terrified a boy would look in my bag at school.

spugs · 10/03/2008 13:04

when mine started at about 13/14 they were incredibly light and iregular and took over 6 mths before they got any heavier. i was really embaressed and didnt tell my mam until i started to need pads instead of panty liners

chuggabopps · 10/03/2008 13:13

One thing that I would advise against if at all possible is what my mum did to me-

basically she kept on stressing how starting my periods was an extra houshold expense, that we couldn't really afford,(she didn't need any herself by then) this was alongside her overstating how I should take care of every single thing I owned. this meant that when I needed pads I was made to feel like I was causing major financial problems- and as a result I used as few as I thought I could get away with. Never mind that I ruined no end of pairs of knickers trying to do this.

PuppyMonkey · 10/03/2008 13:17

Just been listening to Jeremy Vine. They are talking about early puberty in kids, esp girls. One lady's been on and her dd started her periods at age one!! Turn on Radio Two now!!

Original poster

northernrefugee39 · 10/03/2008 13:44

Thanks everyone- she's fine really Mary, just a bit fed up I think.

Notyu- crikey how embarassing!
I just keep having visions of the celebrations that could ensue.... Congratulations on your first Period type cards.... hey- maybe we're missing a gap in the market, special little gifts, silver pad boxes.

We've been very open about it all for some time, as a couple of girls in her old school started at 11.
So I've made sure she's caught glimpses of me, (which they do anyway, as the bathroom seems to be the place of choice just when I think I have a half hour soak with a glasss of wine I am joined by two if not three of our girls..) and she's seen pads with blood on, so she's not shocked.
I had a feeling our middle one might have started earlier, as she's had hair under her arms for ages, and is larger in shape, but I'm really glad she hasn't.

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