daughter's first period advice please!

[northernrefugee39]

She's just had a sort of browny show, smudge, nothing massive.
I've only got my biggish pads too.....
Which ones do I get tommorrow?
Is the first period likely to be not very much/ or does it vary?
Can't remember, and friends have said different things.

I was 13. My nana phoned my dad at work and announced "your daughter is a woman!".
Dad v awkwardly shuffled in from work that night with a box of milk tray

KarisTia- you must have been incredibly together at 11 to cope with that.
I can't imagine many kids being so practical and organised.. wow
I must remember not to be too helpful and over the top! It's a good point!

hifi- I got a few of those bodyform tins in various colours 'cos I thought they'd be useful! They're nice aren't they? Great tip...

Chugga- AWW that is such a dreadful thing for you to have to deal with, I want to hug the little pubescent you
I'm know I'm making loads of mistakes the whole time, and your Mum probably was just speaking her anxieties about money out loud, but it's alot for a young pair of shoulders.And yeah- you probably ruined more stuff by being stingy on the pads anyway....,AWWE

Ikl- my dd didn't want me to tell sisters and Dad. They'll find out soon enough ...
But I told him of course quietly.
He had a kind of soft proud look, but sad too.
It's funny for the Dad's, little girls growing up etc.

Ikleboo that made me giggle poor you and your poor dad

I had just turned 12 when I started mine, was the day I was travelling nearly 200 miles to spend some of my summer holidays with my big brother and his girlfriend, my mum drove me mad the whole journey down asking if I was alright.

I would buy a couple of different kinds to start off, have some panty liners, pads with/without wings to let her try a few and see what she likes best.

When I started I had a normal period from the outset and have been since that first month regular as clockwork as soon as babies are born and breast feeding stops, I can actually get it down the the time of day now.

glad she's ok northern...yes, it must be strange for dads...I shall never know this experience as I only have a boy ( though I guess boys have their own icky rites of passage) ds is terrified of having to shave !!

Thanks Mary

Oh- I'm sure the boys will start filling the house with brut all too soon......

And grunts, and spots, well girls do the spots, but they don't grnt, they say GOAWAY or THATISSOUNFAIR SLAM

or GETOUTNOWIDONTWANTTOTALK

I'm really good these days at not reacting.
Who would ever have thought it?

And then it's all over, as if nothing atall
Had happened.

And boys do it later too I think, so you probably get off very lightly....

he's already rolling his eyes and harrumphing about, but most of the time is a cuddly sweetie

Ahh- yes, he seems it.
Better watch those rolling eyes.

actually, the thing I find hardest, is not to laugh, because they're so sensitive, and it can all be so serious.... So we have to wait 'til we're in bed, and then we have a laugh about whatever was souch a big deal.
but nowadays, they go to bed later than us sometimes......

i remember when mine first started, mum gave me some money and said go to boots, i was so embarrassed and didnt know what to buy, bought panty liners. she told me off when i got home for buying wrong ones, didnt even bother showing me correct ones. asked a friend at school and she went through the whole thing. i had to buy them out of my spendo.

Boots do a teenager sized towel and pantyliner - can't remember what its called at the moment but will let you know when I do!

Oh hifi, that's so awful...because really it's still so young.

I remember thinking it nunfair to have to spend my own money on it when my brothers didn't have that expense too..

Awwe, my poor wee dd was crying last night...said she didn't want it, didn't want it to be part of growing up. She snuggled down with me and we had a long chat....

It's such a big leap, I feel for her so so so

aww northern, was thinking of you last night...it must be weird for you too ?

Well, she's at home today.... I think she's allowed a day off on this occasion... she's worried about leaking, and wanting to go and check the whole time, so she probably wouldn't concentrate much either.
And it's her favourite day- double art and double biology- her idea of heaven!
Ironically enough they've been doing puberty in bio, their teacher set them homework the other day to draw a chart of the changes which happen to our bodies during puberty.... I wonder what the results were- he has a great sense of humour...

Yes it is weird, for her to no longer be an official "child", although she's still quite immature in lots of other ways, she's also becoming very responsible too. And not afraid to stick up for things she thinks are right/wrong, which makes me proud of her....

Her sisters are quite oblivious, tho' I think middle one is slightly suspicious but hasn't twigged. their close, so I think dd1 will tell her soon....

well it's probably better it was dd1 rather than dd2 starting first - I wonder if that does happen ? still, I can relate to how she feels - I was very shocked that it had happened to me and definitely didn't want anything to change - maybe being brought up with boys accounts for it - I wasnot especially girly at that age...hope she feels easier about it all very soon

OOO chuggabopps me too ! My mum made me cut sanitary towels in half to economise !! And then gave me hell for ruining my underwear & clothes. I was always asking the games teacher for towels too !

I agree with buying a load of different kinds and letting her decide which ones she feels most comfortable with using. I had really heavy, painful periods and my mum just thought I was making unnecessary fuss. I think the best thing is to help her feel safe and confident about it. I'm glad I've only got DS

I remember when I started at age 11. Sods law I was at the Saturday morning music club with no cash so had to make do with a paper towel (ouch!) until I could get home & borrow one of Mum's towels. I think I just stuck with them for a few months & then asked mum about her tampax & we had a fun afternoon with her giving me directions from the other side of the loo door & me struggling with a mirror . I used them for a few years & then saw an ad for a free sample of lillets in a magazine & preferred them so switched.

Those days are long gone now though - I'm a mooncup & washable pad user now & can't believe I wasted all that money for 20-odd years on all those chemicals. Might be worth introducing eco san pro to her so she is aware of all the options northernefugee39? Especially if her bleeding is only light - easy to get to grips with cloth towels with a light flow & then look at the mooncup later if it gets heavier?

You could even encourage her to chart her periods when she gets more confident with internal things like tampons or a mooncup - will help predict when AF is due, cope with things like PMS a little better and encourage her to get to know her own body & be comfortable with her body. Wish I'd known there was a way of following things back then as my cycles have always been fairly long.

Thankyou everyone for all this - it's very helpful.

Thanks Mary..

Cut them in half! Lordy Lordy there are some Mums out there!

terra- She has joined me with a special sign in the house diary - for our dates....
How do cloth towels attatch? I want to keep it simple at the moment, but might see if naturecare do one she likes, they're quite good, I use their panty liners.
My sil is using a mooncup, do you recommend It?

i highly reccommend a mooncup for adults...

i honestly cant imagine how an innocent younge teenager could even get one in though...

i remember struggling with tampax mini, and there is no way anything fatter could have fitted in back then... thoigh i suppose after a few months 'regular' managed to fit in (never used anything more than that as didnt need to)

The pads I have are all secured with a popper on the wings or straps of varying design. I can't remember where they are from though...will go & check later for you...

...& yes I would absolutely recommend the mooncup without question. Well worth the money to try. I am completely lost without mine now. I lost my first one last year when I forgot to set my timer when I boiled it to clean it (pan boiled dry & the mooncup melted ) & I couldn't buy one for a few months as I was broke....not an experience I want to repeat! Although it did serve to get me into cloth pads a bit more

It does take a couple of cycles to get used to putting it in & then getting it out without throwing its contents everywhere but it's been an absolute revelation for me. I have literally felt liberated by using it. Periods are still a bit of pita but so much less hassle & no longer a literal pain. I used to get a lot of pain in my fango when changing tampons as well as lots of general cramping. The cramping is now greatly reduced & get no pain in my fango at all with the mooncup. Also when I started actually looking at what was actually being collected I realised just how much of it was general cervical/vaginal fluid & why tampons had irriated me so much - they were literally sucking me dry ....no wonder it was so hard changing them on my lighter days.

Nanny - could that have been your hymen causing your problems?

There's no reason for a teenager not to use one afaiaa - they do a smaller one for younger girls/those who haven't delivered a baby.

thats the one i have (size a)

its not that small and i no i couldnt have got it in when I was younger!