Mum guilt is really bad at the moment with my eldest son....
He has a diagnosis of ADHD and he's going through an ASD assessment too, I've tried getting him counselling and therapy and into clubs and groups to try and help with the way he is but nothing has worked. His behaviour is soo bad at home and at school and I've been struggling to deal with his challenging behaviour and his defiant attitude towards myself and his school, he don't ever listen, do as his told, no punishment works like treats being taken away his electronics taken away, he speaks to everyone rudely he is very ignorant and he says nasty stuff to me actually quite vile, he calls me by my first name too and he has smashed up things in my house and put holes in walls and doors. I have tried talking to him myself and trying to understand why he is the way he is but he don't care, he makes homophobic comments all the time even racist remarks and I have no idea where he gets it all from. He's finally been granted an EHCP and I've asked for him to be put forward to a residential school due to his education suffering bad! He was on a part time school table for over a year and half he's had constant exclusions he's stolen from me and from shops, lies constantly even when caught red handed. He bullies his younger siblings calls them names and hits them constantly then last Thursday after telling him to stop grabbing his brothers up and hitting them and pushing them etc he actually broke my sons arm! I've got social services finally involved after asking them for help over the last 2 years and just palming me off with family solutions. I can't help but feel I am to blame for the way he is and if it is my fault he is the way he is, did I do enough? Am I enough? Where did I go wrong? I can't help but feel like it's my fault for not being a good enough mum as to why he is the way he is. My other sons aren't like this so I don't get why he is? He just constantly rebels against me and steals food all the time yet he has three meals a day and snacks in between. I'm so exhausted and drained from all the crap I've had over the last three years I just feel deflated. I don't want him to feel like i have deliberately pushed him out because that's not the reason, I am seriously concerned about his education he's 13 and at year 5 levels because he don't want to learn and pisses about at school and has I can do what I want attitude. 😞