Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

If your ds of five years old had got his willy out and shown it to the girls in the cloakroom, would you want to know?

79 replies

collision · 02/03/2008 22:34

DS1 came home on Friday and told us that one of his classmates had done this.

This boy was in detention during playtime on the previous day because of something else and is obviously a little tiresome.

So, I would want to know if this was my ds and DH agrees with me.

So, would you tell the teacher?

I will not be telling his mother as I think that the teacher can do that and his Mum is a playground friend who is lovely. She was devastated at his detention and is a nice normal person so I do know this will not go down well at all.

Yet, I would want to know so I could deal with it at home as well.

Opinions please.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

FrannyandZooey · 03/03/2008 18:32

no I would not care, unless it was upsetting the other children

was it?

if not, what is the problem?

Original poster

collision · 03/03/2008 18:35

Yes it did.

He did it in front of ds, who was v shocked as he knows we dont do this, and in front of 2 girls. One of the girls was v upset according to ds.

OP posts:

Original poster

collision · 03/03/2008 18:36

I cannot believe you wouldnt care and wouldnt want to know.

Even if you did nothing about it, you really wouldnt want to know? What if he got to Year 4 or 5 and did it, would you ignore it then too?

Am very about your attitude.

OP posts:

FrannyandZooey · 03/03/2008 18:37

in that case yes I think someone should speak to him about it
I don't think it matters who

(why were they very upset? do you know?)

MicrowaveOnly · 03/03/2008 18:37

v. upset??that says more about the girl than the boy...and I doubt it, really. All of dds friends would find it shocking but really very funny!

FrannyandZooey · 03/03/2008 18:38

I would find it of absolutely no consequence that a 5 year old showed his willy to some friends, no

no-one has mentioned a child of 8 or 9 doing this AFAIK, have they? we are discussing a 5 year old. So I don't see the point of mentioning year 4 or 5.

MicrowaveOnly · 03/03/2008 18:38

year 5 is not the same as year 1. Why get uptight about normal behaviour!!!!

harpsichordcarrier · 03/03/2008 18:42

why are you collision?
I honestly think that making too much of it is a big mistake. I mean it is hardly traumatising to see a 5 year old willy.
my dd runs around with her friends in the altogether all summer long. they all go to the loo together. the sight of one of her friend's penises is of precious little interest to her, thank the lord.
there is a massive difference between a 5 year old and a nine year old. I don't see the point in comparing them tbh.

Buda · 03/03/2008 18:42

I think it is a normal part of behaviour at that age - I am sure it is the classic age for "you show me yours and I'll show you mine" (or was that just me??). But it is obv a good time for the teacher to bring up the matter of appropriate behaviours in school. Mentioning it jokingly or lightheartedly to the teacher is exactly what I would have done.

Original poster

collision · 03/03/2008 18:44

So surely it is better to nip it in the bud in year 1?

Remind them that this is not the sort of behaviour that is acceptable at school. If you stop it now then it doesnt become something major at a later date.

DS was cross with the boy.
The little girl was upset. Dont know why. Maybe she only has sisters and doesnt see willies on a regular basis.

OP posts:

harpsichordcarrier · 03/03/2008 18:50

the teacher can deal with it.
children learn the rules about how to behave at school gradually and bit by bit
this kind of silliness is perfectly normal.
to make it into something awful and horrifying is just counterproductive and a bit hysterical tbh. it is no different from pulling hair, or chucking sand around, or the numerous other unremarkable things 5 year old boys do

FrannyandZooey · 03/03/2008 18:51

"If you stop it now then it doesnt become something major at a later date."

actually I would think there is a very small likelihood indeed of this becoming 'something major at a later date' (what were you thinking of - a sex offender or something?) seeing as this is an entirely normal childhood stage that is easily grown out of

but if there WAS any likelihood of it becoming 'something major', I would think that likelihood would be INCREASED by making a hige deal of this now, rather than just laughing and saying something like 'willies are private, you know'

I must admit the children's reactions concern me more than the willy flashing

FrannyandZooey · 03/03/2008 18:54

just wondering why you asked the title question, btw?

I assumed you did in fact want to know the answer, to help you decide what to do, but you have already made up your mind that we SHOULD want to know?

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 03/03/2008 19:05

Yes I'd want to know so I could mention it in passing, nothing more. Perhaps the girl was upset because she doesn't have brothers? She may have assumed there was something growing out of his fanjo!

One of my DSs friends used to tell my sheep son to take his pants down at pre-school (so 3 or 4 yo's). I was more interested in why the other boy never did it himself than about my DS exposing himself. But only very mildly interested. One of the pre-sch staff told me about it and said 'we told him that you don't do that' and I had a similar chat with him at home.

yurt1 · 03/03/2008 19:23

I'm surprised it upset the girl. Most 5 year olds I know have been absolutely fascinated by willies etc.

I sat an watched ds2 (year 1) in playtime last term when waiting to go into the school and one girl kept flashing her knickers on purprose which ds2 seemed to find hilarious.

I'm with Franny et al on this. I would be cross if something big was made out of it. If someone told me in passing I'd tell ds2 not to do it and explain why, but I wouldn't get all heavy about it and I wouldn't necessarily want to know. I would assume that teachers could deal with it adequately.

TheFallenMadonna · 03/03/2008 19:26

DD got herself dressed the other day and omitted to put pants on under her tights - which she then stripped off at preschool to dress up. Honestly - the fuss one of the women who works there made. DD is 3 years old. She was in preschool with a bunch of other 3 year olds and some staff. I really can't see what the big deal was .

MicrowaveOnly · 03/03/2008 19:28

Fanjo, what a great word, I only came across it here at MN, that replaces fanny any day!!

MilaMae · 03/03/2008 19:58

As I said before it is very normal year 1 behaviour, I haven't taught a rec, YI or even Y2 class that it doesn't happen in, it's what normal 4 year olds do. I would be more concerned about the reaction of the girl.

I maybe playing devil's advocate here but do you think your son has heard you discussing this other boy being in trouble and is trying to stir things up a bit.

I would be cross if a teacher bothered me about this I'd expect her to laugh it off with a "it's nothing new" comment to the class and leave it at that.

ska · 03/03/2008 19:59

yes but our (now 12 yo dsc) did this a lot. he wont admit it now tho but he liked waving it around

Hulababy · 03/03/2008 20:09

I would want to be told. That way I could follow it up at home by havig a chat to remind him about what is and isn't appropriate behaviour.

emkana · 03/03/2008 20:16

Children learn gradually what is acceptable and what isn't. When dd1 was in reception she went to a party and I stayed. I took her to the loo and there was a girl from her class. This girl bent forward, stuck her bum up and asked me to clean it for her. I'm sure she wouldn't do that now, they're in year 2 by now.

ChasingSquirrels · 03/03/2008 20:20

pmsl at Harpsi's "I mean it is hardly traumatising to see a 5 year old willy.".
Also in agreement with Franny, Harpsi & co (is there a co?).

emkana · 03/03/2008 20:20

I'm the co! [jumps up and down to get noticed]

ChasingSquirrels · 03/03/2008 20:27

hi there co!

emkana · 03/03/2008 20:27

Flip

1 2 3 4