Havent read the whole thread, just your opening post! My dc's are now 9 and 6 and were both planned, I will never forget when our first was about a week or so old I stood in the kitchen and thought 's**t, what have we done? How could we have wanted this? Our lives will never be the same again, never again can I spend a day vegging on the sofa in my pjs'
I was right, life has never been the same, it's better than ever, and I do get the occasional hour or 2 on the sofa having a 'veg'. It will get better!