My DD is 4, she is a very sensitive little girl, sometimes struggles with noises and communicating - but not all the time - she has a very good vocabulary actually. She has been toilet trained for 2 years, doesn't have toileting accidents except in one place - where she goes for childcare while I work. She is fine in nursery and doesn't have accidents there, it is just this one place.
I have tried reward charts, I've tried PEC cards (she sometimes point blank refuses to speak at all), I've tried talking to her to find out if somethings wrong, nothing is working.
I can stop sending her for the rest of the holidays, but I'm now really worried about her starting school. I don't know what the actual problem is so I can't fix it or prevent it in another setting.
I thought she was ready for school because she's so clever and really is eager to learn, she ticks the vast majority of school readiness questions - but there are some things I'm really worried about her for. There's definitely a BIG personality in her, when she's with us (her immediate family) she's loud, and funny and cheeky just like any other 4 year old, but it seems to disappear when she's around anyone else.