Speech/Communication Delays - Support Thread

[RiverRock22]

I have noticed a lot of speech and language/communication threads on these boards lately. Any parent who has gone through this will know it is a lonely place and like me I assume many of you have been up to all hours trawling these boards looking for answers.

I thought a thread where those of us in the same boat could take refuge in would be a good idea. To share tips or just chat about our experiences.

My daughter is 2.8 and is experiencing what I initially thought was a speech delay, however, I feel now is more of a communication delay as her receptive language understanding is poor as well as limited use of gestures etc.

I feel she hits a lot of autistic red flags but only on the communication (and by default the social) front, although this isn't being marked as a clear cut case of autism just yet. I have sought SALT assistance and we are working through the communication areas, starting with attention and listening activities. My main concern at the minute is communication, she is so passive to the point she barely interacts with us and doesn't want too much input from us and this makes me so sad. I long to have a toddler that doesn't give me a minutes peace wanting to play games.

I know there have been many fantastic ladies such as @lingle who have been through this and came out the other side. So anyone who has been through it and wants to give advice you are more than welcome.

So welcome to this safe space to moan, worry, chat and get advice.

@Miserabletoddlermum yes, the NHS SLT was actually really lovely and said - in our call! - that she knew what she was providing wasn't enough, but it was all she was able to do at that point in time. It seems a pretty common complaint from NHS staff, trained to do great work that helps people but given no time or resources to provide it 😟

Thank you for your advice, some recommendations and an assessment from an OT sounds like it could be really useful for us. I ll get researching what's available privately in our area.

Hope you don’t mind me joining this thread, there’s been lots of great advice and recommendations so far. DD will be 3 in September and is non-verbal, very vocal and babbles a lot, but still no words. Initially thought it was ‘just’ a speech delay when she was around 16 months and first words hadn’t emerged.

But since turning 2, it’s become more and more clear that she’s displaying ASD traits/behaviours so the GP has referred us to the paediatrician and we’re just waiting for that to come through.

She scored low on the 2 year check, so HV has referred us to speech and language (told it’s a 6 month wait initially) and we’re on the waiting list for portage.

It’s a lonely road and there’s only so many old threads you can go through without losing your mind with worry, so it’s great to have this support thread.

My son's 2 months younger than yours, very minimal words and lots of flags for ASD. We ve got portage visits at the moment which have been great, and on the waiting lists for speech and paediatrician which are about a year (hoping we ll have an appointment come October/November).

Hello!
I hope you don't mind if i join the conversation. I actually have some questions for you since i am a bit worried about my son.
He will turn 18months next week and i have some doubts about his language understanging.

He is exposed to 4 different languages (german, english and french at nursery every day) and italian at home.
When he was around 12 months I noticed that he only knew his name (knows it since he is 7 months) , look, No and wave good bye. I contacted a speech therapist and made a small assessment. He resulted to be at a 8 months level in his understanding but given the many languages he is exposed to and that his non verbal communication (eye contact, waving, pointing, clapping and sharing) was very good, she just told me some ways to play with him and asked me to speak again when he was 15/to 18 months.
Now he can understand a lot of single words (maybe 150) and CAN follow some very basic istructions like open the door, bring me the X , give X to daddy, where is mummy, it's bath time etc and knows all body parts/clothes (all in italian, no idea about the other languages). A new assessment (17months) put him at the 25th percentile in receptive language. However since it is based on my perception 9f his understanding i still feel uncertain about his receptive skills.
Two things really worry me.

1. he's expressive language is better than he's receptive. He has around 20-25 words(including animal sounds that he uses to label the animals) but these are all nouns and mainly used to label things. The only word he uses to request is his name. He will say his name and gesture when he wants me to give him/o do something. Plus he occassionally signs more.
   Is this age appropriate? (The using only nouns). Should i wait a bit more for verbs and request to come? Could it be realted to the many languages?
   I have red in many threads of language delays of toddlers labeling a lot and thus having apparently better expressive than receptive language.

2. He is very inconsistent in follwong directions. I mean that he can understand directions well at moments (sometimes also a bit more complicated like give something to drink to the doll or take the box and wear ot as a helmet) and in other moments he really doesn't listen at all (and seems not to understand). For example i know he knows the name of animals but sometimws if i ask him to point it in a book he just stares at me like he does't know what to do and other times he will do it. The same can be said about bringing me stuff or of any instruction. In addition when i ask him to bring me something this thing must be in sight or at least in the same room.
   I have red that at 18 months they should be able to take things on request even if out of sight/in another room.
   In addition he cannot really answer questions. He says No if i ask hime if he wants a bisquit only if i show him the bisquit, if he dosen't see the bisquit he will not answer. He doesn't nod or say yes yet. On the other hand sometimes if i ask him if he wants a bisquit he will run to the place we keep the bisquits and he also sometimes answer no when i ask him to come out of the bath thub.
   Is ot too early to expect him to answer questions? Online you can find very different informations about what recwptive skills should be there at 18 months and all are about monolinguals.

This ended up to be a very long post sorry. What i am trying to understand is if he is really delayed in understanding and if you can recognize your child in the description.
If you think he is delayed what strategies would you use? He is very assertive and communicates a lot with gestures and eye contact, the problem is that he is less responsive. Sometimes o think it could be a focusing issue.

Ps: sorry for my english i am not a native speaker.

Would love some advice. My 22 month old is not talking. He can say Mama, Dada and UH Oh. He will only say Mama and Dada if we keep saying it to him. he says Uh OH all the time.

my eldest was speech delayed and is undergoing an ASD assessment he’s now 11 and it’s took forever and he’s deffo got ASD but lower on the spectrum.

I suppose I’m very hypersensitive to my youngest also potentially having ASD.

he can follow instructions, understanding is good and had been for a while, he’s fine physically and meeting milestones well. He doesn’t talk, doesn’t really babble, can’t point, will lead us to what he wants, sometimes walks on tip toes and screams a lot!

in our area they won’t even refer for speech until they are gone 2.

I sit and repeat words to him, ask him questions like show me the cat, when I give him stuff like his juice I’ll say… juice, if he wants to get out of his chair I will say.. up.

the only thing he can do is sign 2 words - more and milk.

See if you can push to have his 2 year check sooner, it's not impossible to get a paediatrician referral at 2 and they can do the speech referral at the same time (I did convince someone on the HV team to do a speech referral at 22 months as the wait list here has now hit 1 year+ so they couldn't argue with well he ll be 3 by the time he's seen anyway). Speech and language UK is a charity that does a free advice call wit a speech therapist to give you some pointers, I was however told to make more statements than asking any questions as then it's less pressure.

Hello. Hope it's ok if I too join this thread. My DS is 22 months old and we are at zero words. He babbles all day long. He won't point and have just started waving bye/hi. He has great eye contact and loves being around other kids and grownups. If you leave the room while he is playing, he will come look for you as he doesn't like being alone.

He had ear infections and clogged ears. Failed his hearing test twice and had tubes put in April 25, 2023.

We for sure heard him babble more and more but after two months of the tubes, we still don't have a clear word. He doesn't understand majority what I am saying. He responds to his name maybe 5 out of ten times.

He is in daycare full time M-F 9-4pm and is loving it. He's great with the kids and teachers. He loves being held and won't nap unless someone is rubbing his back. He gives them kisses on their cheeks and rubs their faces. He has no sensory issues that I have noticed

He doesn't line up toys but he does love wheels. He will flip the cars just to spin the wheels. However, if you take the car away he's not upset and will go on to play something else.

Sleeps great through the night. is fine with loud sounds ( blender, pressure cooker)

we are seeping a ASD specialist Aug 21 ( two days before his second 2day) I don't know what to think. Has anyone had their child behave in this manner at 22 months and just needed time? I understand that we can't predict the future. I'm just looking to feel less isolated.

Even if it's ASD, it's fine. We will figure it out.

Hi! Just come across this thread and thought I'd add about my little girl who I've been writing about on here since I first had communication concerns around 18 months. My first advice to everyone is get a hearing test ASAP and if they have glue ear don't be fobbed off to keep waiting. My little girl spoke her first words 3 days post grommet insertion age 3yr 2 months. Initially I thought she had speech delay and then the HV brought to my attention the fact she couldn't point aged 20 months. She started pointing at 23 months after alot of help. She didn't always respond to her name and didn't engage easily. What helped us more than anything we're 4 things. Makaton for basic signs. PECS cards ! But not in the while stages just literally a card with a picture on and taught her to get the card give it someone and then rewarded with the item straight away this was life changing for us. We got over the requesting choc buttons very fast and started recognising cards for everything. We then paid a private speech therapist who has helped massively (and still is, my little one is 5.2 years) and lastly I started asking her to get something / or do something and then physically showing her. (Eg let's get our shoes on.... take her to the hall get her shoes repeat the word shoes 10 times. Oh look there's our shoes, let's put your shoes on, where's mommy shoes, oh there's mommy's shoes, let's put my shoes on to go out) it was hard work and constant but helped alot in the long run. She is now 5.2 she has a language disorder and is a gestalt language processor (learns in phrases that need breaking down) she is ?ASD still not got a pead interested in looking as speech problems can mimic ASD. However she is doing better than I ever imagined when she couldn't recognise the get your shoes instruction by 2. Now follows instructions well although attention and listening still not age appropriate. Xx

This is what I thought, GLP symptoms do not always mean an autism diagnosis

My son is being referred for social and communication support but can have good listening and attention…when he wants to. I’m a teacher and that’s age appropriate!!!

Can I join here?
feeling quite sad and down today and just generally worrying about what my little boys future might look like.
he’s 23 months old. He’s just the sweetest little boy, but he has a definite speech delay at the very least.
he originally seemed to be hitting all milestones as expected when he was younger, I wasn’t concerned about him at all, walked at 11 months, babbled as a baby, had words like mama and dada from a young age. Then it just stopped.
it became more apparent once he hit 18 months and he was just very different to his peers at his childminders. I have 3 older children and while I know they say not to compare children, he’s very different to what I experiences with any of them as toddlers.
the few words he does have now, - baby, teddy and oh no, aren’t ever said in context. He’s just repeated them after hearing them. He has no words in context.
he doesn’t point to things he sees, or wants, he only sometimes responds to his name, but is mostly in his own little world. If he wants something he’ll bring it to me and sort of moan at me until I open it/make it etc. or he’ll go to the cupboard where he knows there’s food and will whinge in front of it.
he plays a lot with the same toys, mainly cars, he will often line them up, precisely and always facing the right way, he loves spinning the wheels. He’ll flick switches on and off a lot.
he will only wave bye bye if I ask him too. He does give kisses when asked. But he doesn’t copy facial expressions, wouldn’t bat an eyelid if someone was crying, wouldn’t go to hug them etc. isn’t interested in playing or interacting with other children. Doesn’t do any kind of role play play.
sometimes, for no obvious reason he will put his fingers in his ears as if to block sound, but there won’t be any extreme noise happening. If we’re out and about he won’t listen to instructions or anything. He’d run off without a second though and when he starts running he won’t stop if you call him back. The childminder has spotted many of the same issues, she has an older child she’s looks after, and a younger child than my son, and my son is the only one who won’t stay by her if they’re out and about. When she’s getting them in and out of the car etc, she has to put my son in first, and get him out last because he’s the only one who will try to run off.
but he does understand a lot of what I say, if I asked him to get his shoes, he’ll go get them, if I ask him to find a certain toy he usually can, if I ask him to put a wrapper in the bin he will.
im now fairly positive he has ASD, as he ticks so many of the boxes. He has his 2 year review later this month and I’m hoping things will get picked up. I raised my concerns a couple of months back but was sent away saying he’s too young, all sounds normal etc.
the health visitor coming to see him for the 2 year review is one that specialises in children with additional and special needs so I’m hoping that she will see what we see. But what if she still says he’s too young? Then what do I do? Where do I go if nobody listens?
im just feeling really lonely. My partner is great, but is very laid back about things generally and just says what will be will be, and we’ll cross bridges when we come to them etc. there are no support groups that I can find that are anywhere remotely local to me.
I can’t help but feel guilty that I’ve caused it all. I’ve read about ASD being linked to older maternal age and I was 39 when I had him. Just feeling overwhelmed a bit today and would give anything to hear my little boys voice.
sorry for such a moany post!

@Highlandcows sounds like you re where I was this time last year. We got a salt referral at 23 months an paeds and portage at 25 months.

They couldn't say no with how significant his questionnaire scores were. If they did say no you keep trying or self refer.
What's the childminder done support wise, the council probably has an inclusion team they should have contacted for advice on intervention unless they only support nurseries, I m not 100% sure.

Risk factors dont mean it's your fault, don't beat yourself up.

@1990shopefulftm thank you. Some days I feel like all I want is for someone to tell me it isn’t my fault.
but mostly I just want to know what the future looks like for my ds.
the childminder hasn’t done anything other than highlight her concerns. She did write me a full list of her concerns when I asked for them so I could present them to the GP when I first brought my concerns to them. The GP back then said all he could do was refer me to a great paediatrician he knew and go from there. but I’ve heard nothing since. So I don’t know if we’ve been officially referred or not. I’m hoping more will happen once he’s been seen by the HV later this month. So far nobody has really witnessed how he is for themselves, at the GP we were only there a few minutes and ds was just exploring the room etc, then at a weight and height check with the HV the other day, again we weren’t there long enough. So, so far the only information anyone has to go on, are the things I’m telling them and I swear they think I’m exaggerating things and ‘just comparing him to my other children’.

how is your dc doing now, a year on?

Unfortunately as much as we want to know what the future holds, I don't think anyone will give the answer/ be able to at this age but it's really hard isn't it.

My DS started nursery in May, he isn't using words still but his non verbal communication has definitely improved, he doesn't play with other kids yet but he's definitely starting to watch them and settled with other adults no problem. I went with them as all the areas are boxed in and you have to buzz in so never any worry of him running off and they miraculously have a sensory room so I don't feel worried when he's there with them.

The nursery had an SEN meeting with me today, offered to chase referralls, get onto health visitor to try for a meeting with them and some other professionals amongst suggesting things to try like small group interventions. So the fact the childminder won't/isn't able to provide any extra support for your son sounds really unfortunate.

We had a portage worker for play therapy for the summer term but otherwise we re still stuck on the waiting lists as we live in Lancashire they re a year- 14 months at last checking.

The paediatrician you got a referral to likely has a secretary number somewhere, they should be able to firstly say if the referral was accepted and secondly a rough guess at how long the wait is.

We couldn't afford more appointments until we hopefully get DLA but we did get a private SLT assessment for only £140 for advice last year and had a free advice call from speech and language UK so I d definitely suggest contacting them.

Hi! How and when did you realise it was a language disorder and not a delay?

Just written my own post and then found this one and have found my people

This is my post if you'd like to read and have any advice or anything, I'd really appreciate it

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/behaviour_development/4937421-head-banging-speech-delay

Hi @RiverRock22 how is your daughter getting on? I’d like to join this group, if people are still around.

hi,

Im around. Hope you are ok? X

@scaredandspiralling I am also around. Hope you are ok.

Thanks so much for replying @Supergirl1958 and @needhopeandluck

My daughter is 3.5 and I didn’t have any concerns before September, but over the last couple of months she has taken what seems to be an ASD regression. Social skills in particular have really gone backwards, and she spends a lot of time in her own world. Speech and language is a struggle and I’m not really sure about her levels of understanding.

It’s all very frightening and I’m just looking for company and people in similar situations who know how it feels.

@scaredandspiralling I have read a lot about regressive autism and they say that it is very unlikely to happen after the age of 3. Temporary regressions on the other hand can happen.

@scaredandspiralling did you speak to a GP about it? Push hard for a SALT and community paediatrician referral for assessments. The sooner the better as it may take months until someone can see you.

Hi @needhopeandluck yes we’ve seen the health visitor and GP and been referred to community paediatrics. They’ve actually been very good and took her in quickly for an EEG and CT scan, both clear. Next step is an outpatient appointment at the clinic.

@scaredandspiralling Sending you lots of love! I can understand why you feel the way you do. Glad the scans turned out ok! Praying that it is a temporary regression. My son went through that this summer. He went from being the most sociable baby to not making eye contact with other people. And for a while with us parents either which got me in a very dark place. It got better in time. There was nothing we did to fix it because we had no idea what to do. It is like his brain froze while he was developing some important skills.