Speech/Communication Delays - Support Thread

[RiverRock22]

I have noticed a lot of speech and language/communication threads on these boards lately. Any parent who has gone through this will know it is a lonely place and like me I assume many of you have been up to all hours trawling these boards looking for answers.

I thought a thread where those of us in the same boat could take refuge in would be a good idea. To share tips or just chat about our experiences.

My daughter is 2.8 and is experiencing what I initially thought was a speech delay, however, I feel now is more of a communication delay as her receptive language understanding is poor as well as limited use of gestures etc.

I feel she hits a lot of autistic red flags but only on the communication (and by default the social) front, although this isn't being marked as a clear cut case of autism just yet. I have sought SALT assistance and we are working through the communication areas, starting with attention and listening activities. My main concern at the minute is communication, she is so passive to the point she barely interacts with us and doesn't want too much input from us and this makes me so sad. I long to have a toddler that doesn't give me a minutes peace wanting to play games.

I know there have been many fantastic ladies such as @lingle who have been through this and came out the other side. So anyone who has been through it and wants to give advice you are more than welcome.

So welcome to this safe space to moan, worry, chat and get advice.

i’ve just come across this thread and would love to join! I have a 2.5yo Dd who I think also has a communication delay. She has many words, but aside from using them to request things, she just doesnt really communicate with us. She does a lot of the delayed echolalia someone mentioned upthread. Spends a lot of time singing! We do have progress every few weeks, but I feel like she learns things differently to other kids (in phrases/scrips etc, rather than building from words/sentences), and I long to have a proper little conversation with her and for her to be able to answer my questions.

Great to have some activity on this thread.

I have been trying to focus on the attention and listening games a lot over the last while. We are having more frequency with some naming words. Receptive understanding is something i am really trying to work on. Lots of ready, steady, go games and 'go' is now being used frequently by DD, in context mostly.

What sort of activities is everyone else doing?

Hi, I would also like to join this thread. I have a 3 yo dd who has a speech delay. It is mainly an expressive delay.
She is a very happy child and is communicating with words but it is mainly single words. She has started putting 2, sometimes 3, words together but progress is slow.
We have started speech therapy and this will hopefully help her.

Hi everyone, great to see new people on here. I'm feeling really quite lonely in real life so it's nice (wrong word but you get me!) to know I'm not alone!

@RiverRock22 I have the 'early start' book mentioned upthread so have been meaning to work through it systematically. I also have the famous 'two to talk' book. Do you have these? Are these informing your activities? I have dipped in and out of them both but seem to lack the time to sit down and read through them!! My LO is a bit of a reluctant sleeper so by the time they are in bed I pass out and the cycle of days begin again 😂

Is anyone using signing? My LO is able to use signs quite consistently though obviously it relies on my ability/capacity to require new ones to teach so we have fits and starts x

@carriebradshawwithlessshoes thank you for reply re eye sight. To be honest I don't have any real concerns, it was more of a if-they-check-this-why-not-that kinda thing! That said both my husband and I are v short sighted and I wouldn't even know what poor sight in a toddler would look like! What were the signs for you? X

Squinting at the TV and walking v close to it, preferring books to be very close to his eyes. He also does this really weird thing which may not be related to sight at all it may just be a development quirk but I’ve wondered about posting on this issue alone… he never looks at what he is doing. So he will sit down after school today to take his shoes off, he will glance at his feet but then remove his shoes whilst looking at me/ around the room rather than at his shoes. There’s loads of examples like that. I can’t understand the natural instinct not to look at what you are doing. So if I asked him to point to something say in a book, he would look at the book, then look away then point to where he remembered the thing to be.

I have got the Hanen 'More than Words' book at the minute to work through then I hope to move to the It takes two to talk so that should be some natural progression.

I have some ASD concerns and she also has a history of significant hearing loss so unsure of the reason but my little girl almost never responds to her name (or any verbal noise command), she will respond to noise like a bell, a sneeze etc. I am due to get her hearing retested since she has had grommets in. However, even if I pull her to face me and try to get her attention she sometimes pulls away.

Anyone any advice to get her to respond to her name? I'm not sure if she knows it or not but she isn't responding to much and I don't think it is wholly a hearing issue.

That's good progress that she can do this!
How is her understanding?

I have serious doubts over my little girl's receptive skills so this is also holding back her expressive speech. Any tips for how you aided communication?

@RiverRock22 repeat repeat repeat seems to be my go to teaching strategy, like with your ready steady go! We’ve done lots of that type of thing. DD will now ask for more of things, and will ask for help, although she seems to learn in phrases and so sometimes she answers with a phrase thats out of context. E.g. help mummy, when she’s talking to daddy, even though shes well aware it’s daddy. She does correct herself if prompted.

she’s also got a really high pitched sing-song sounding voice. Is anyone else's child like this?

@OrDis I think I mentioned it earlier in the thread, so apologies for being a broken record, but you might want to look at the Meaningful Speech resources on Gestalt Language Processors https://www.instagram.com/meaningfulspeech/ (there's a proper website as well, and a full online training course for parents and professionals if you want to go down that road!)

But basically this resource talks about children who are Gestalt Language Processors (GLPs) as opposed to most, who are Analytic Language Processors. GLPs learn language in chunks - scripts, phrases, echolalia - as opposed to the expected individual word, "building block" approach most resources focus on. GLPs are also meant to be very musical and are apparently called "Intonation Babies"!

I've found their descriptions match my DS perfectly, really helpful in understanding where he's headed, and super positive about GLP language acquisition as an equally effective means of getting to original, conversational level of speech. It just means they may take a little longer to get there as they're learning in a different way.

If your DD is using a lot of phrases/scripts, but less flexible speech, there might be some pointers in there for how you can help her move to the next step. It's great she's using language already though, it means she's got the skills and the will to get there!

@Scratchybaby I agree, I think she is a gestalt language processor. Meaningful speech instagram has been super helpful. I feel she’s starting to move into stage 2 now, so hopefully will keep progressing. I’d love to find a SLT in our area who specialises in it, but there aren't any near us on the registry. I might fork out for the course at some point.

Evening all!
@RiverRock22 I have ASD concerns too. We don't have specifically name-response issues (anymore - we definitely, definitely did do, tho it seemed to resolve on its own) however I did read something on Mary Barbera's website about 'how to get your child to respond to their name' and to summarise she recommends, almost counterintuitively, not using your child's name so often - the theory being that they begin to associate it with something negative like a request to do something (eg 'Riverrock can you touch your nose, Riverrock say 'x' etc') and then try not to use their name when reprimanding, e.g. Riverrock, no, don't do that etc etc. Then you begin to use their name with a positive reinforcer, in other words something good happens when you say their name (silly face, bubbles, edible item (!!!)). As you may have gleamed it's an ABA-led theory and as such it won't be for everyone. I haven't used it myself but wanted to throw it out there for you? Perhaps someone else has tried this with positive results? x

Hi @OrDis it's funny you say about sing songy voices and intonation because we have the exact opposite thing going on! In fact my LO's absence of intonation or emphasis etc in their expression has been a really big concern. Hard to know how to inject that interest and enthusiasm! My LO is often described as 'serious'!!! I really liked @Scratchybaby's advice, have heard GLT is a really really promising thing because of how it ultimately, via a slightly more circuitous route, gets them there in the end in terms of original language. Sounds like she's doing really well. (I'm all about repeat, repeat, repeat too haha) x

Thanks @Miserabletoddlermum that makes sense, overuse is maybe meaning it doesn't stand out as much!

Also my DD is serious, it takes A LOT to make her laugh or entertain her. Part of why SALT techniques are so hard because she is very hard to get an 'in' with.

@carriebradshawwithlessshoes oh bless, can understand how you would have been concerned about sight if they were looking at things so close-up. The other things, looking at something and then looking away and pointing it out, I've not heard of this but it almost sounds quite advanced in a lot of ways? X

@RiverRock22 yes same! Have often wondered how to 'find the fun' with my LO (the advice given in the 'early start' book if I recall) when I'm at a bit of a loss as to what they find fun!! If I try and sing I get told 'no', they won't engage me in a puzzle or a back-and-forth game like rolling a ball, not sure where to go from there! X

(I should add though on the odd occasion I do raise a smile there is absolutely nothing like it, feels like my heart will burst)

Just picking up on a few things as I’m further down the line….

I would agree re the pairing name with something of interest/ desire. In the first instance I think it’s about inspiring that motivation, that purpose, however you do it, for your DC to break from what they are doing and look at you when you say their name. Of course you want the reaction to be motivated socially, but in the first instance it’s about connecting a positive thing (for them) with name response. It’s worth their while to look at you when you say their name.

When DS was very little I got so fed up with comments about his seriousness! I heard a million times ‘he’s a thinker, that one, isn’t he?’… ‘he’s deep in thought’… ‘looks like he’s the weight of the world on his shoulders.’ And so on. I now think various things. I think then, as now, he was a huge observer. Everything was sinking in, even if it didn’t appear at the time. He was responding to the things he found funny , not what people wanted him to find funny, which I think is fair enough. He was never going to perform on cue (frustratingly). I totally agree about finding that way ‘in’ and that has totally got to be led by the DC. Do they find rough and tumble funny? I have an older DD and whilst DS never was entertained remotely by the SALTs jack in the boxes and so on he would love to chase DD, play tig, have her jump on him and be tickled etc. does any of that appeal? Being thrown up in the air? Bounced on a trampoline? Ducked in a swimming pool?

DS had a long history of glue ear and grommets too (x3) and adenoids out. In those early days the 2 concerns (hearing and communication) were very blurred.

ha yes the looking away thing is clever, he has an amazing visual memory. He will look at a sequence of numbers, I will show him an equation and he will pick the right number (looking away, he remembers the order they are laid out.) children with communication issues are often great visual learners. Don’t miss easy wins like sticking subtitles on the TV, DS can read very well and I never miss the chance to point out words to him when we are out and about. It is mad that he can read them but can’t say the words but that’s how it is. X

@carriebradshawwithlessshoes

We're on the ENT bus as well. Did you find any difference after the grommets/adenoids were sorted?

Our grommets had minimal success with helping with communication (only in a few weeks though). The problems with adenoids/tonsils are huge at the moment though and hopefully they are sorted soon, they may not do much for communication but hopefully it does help form.

I'm still very much working on receptive language as I'm not sure how much of an effect the hearing loss via clue ear had.

@RiverRock22 my daughters receptive language was initially behind compared to peers but she has made huge progress in the past 6 months or so I'd say.
She understands most things and can follow multi step commands. SaLT have advised us to speak to her in simple 2 or 3 words sentences to encourage her speech. Essentially we speak like she would speak. For example : want juice? Drink juice. Orange juice. This kind of thing.
We also got a laminated A3 sheet with 50 core words such as drink, sit, want, take turn...it has associated pictures. We point ar the picture and say the word and encourage her to repeat.
She is a master of pointing and is a very curious little thing and repeats well...so the SALT person thought this will work well for her. We use this to build on.

Thanks for your reply @Felinewoman, I feel once receptive language gets better then expressive will follow. I actually think het expressive is better at the minute.

Some things she understands but I an not sure if they are routine based or not. How did you help with receptive skills?

We do lots of rhymes, I try to engage in her play e.g. pass her puzzle pieces, time on the swing with her facing me, postbox activities etc. I hope it's all sinking in and maybe one day she'll surprise me.

@carriebradshawwithlessshoes yes my LO loves being chased and thrown about however they are highly sensory seeking and it often leads to biting and grabbing (overstimulated, I think?) so I am a bit torn whether to encourage it or not because we have 5 minutes of fun and laughter then I have to tear them away from my older child and it's just exhausting!!
On the other hand am glad I'm not the only one in the serious-child club, I've been really fed up over the years having to respond to comments like "what does it take to get your kid to smile??". If it didn't strike such a nerve with me I'd laugh it off but obviously it makes me feel paranoid and extra worried!
@RiverRock22 @Felinewoman I don't have receptive language concerns specifically but am sure I've read something Laura mize has published about receptive language milestones? Have you encountered those? I think I might have read them on a v old @lingle thread! x

Hi, I have a 27 month old that isn’t talking yet and doesn’t imitate. She has started pointing when she wants something but this was very recently - she does seem to understand a lot of what we say to her. She hasn’t had her development review with the HV team yet but we are hoping they will refer her for a hearing test (we are unsure about her hearing) and for speech therapy - both have got long waiting lists in our area and nationally I expect so we hope they don’t want to delay referring. We read to her everyday, sing every day and comment on our daily activities in short sentences. Also give her time to “fill the gaps” but she just gets really annoyed with that! I’m not really sure what else we can try but keep hoping she will start of her own accord… Any suggestions for anything else that might be worth trying that has worked for others? Thanks.

Checking in for namecheck

My grandchild is 2 and a half. Very good understanding, talks all the time, answers your questions but sounds like they're speaking a foreign language! Very expressive, lots of imaginative play, correct tone and we can sometimes understand as the odd word is correct. They attend nursery a couple of afternoons a week, I look after them a couple of days a week, and literally spend the whole time playing and interacting with them. Parents are brilliant with them too. Hearing test coming up shortly.
Any other parents experience this? Any tips?
Great thread. Thanks for starting it.