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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

My six month old is miserable!

82 replies

Meandmyjoe · 09/02/2008 19:44

Hi, my six month old boy has always been what Dr Sears would call a 'high needs' baby. From being about a week old, he has been very hard to settle in any other way other than walking around with him. He sleeps very well at night (for twelve hours straight) but the days are still very hard as my husband works very long shifts and often comes home just in time to but our boy to bed. I am really starting to wonder if things will ever improve. Today (like most days) has been an endles struggle trying to keep our DS happy. He went through a stage about a month and a half ago of lovin being on the floor as he had learned to roll and loved playing with his toys. Sadly this only lasted a few weeks and now I'm back to pacing around the kitchen with him in my arms. My main problem is that he seems unable to be happy whilst still, I have hardly ever been able to just sit with him and cuddle him. He gets frustrated and arches his back until we stand with him. He's not even keen on his pushchair or pram either so nine times out of ten when I'm out and about I end up carying him anyway. I used to think that he would just grow out of this and that all babies are unsetled in the first few weeks. I now see that my little boy is not like others babies who will sit happily in his pushchair whilst mum eats a meal out or goes for a coffee. I can't do this as he wants to be up and walking about. Is there something medically/ developmentally wrong with my boy? I feel so alone as none of my friends babies are anything like mine and I'm sure I must be doing something wrong. Any tips or similar stories are really needed!!! Sorry for moaning but I really feel like crying, we planned out son for so long and I'm ashamed to say that this is not what we imagined. I feel so sorry for our baby as he can't help the way he is. Every little thing bothers him and makes him moan or cry. Just laying him down to undress him can seriously upset him. He must be so sad and I don't know why. Help!!!Thanks

OP posts:

Habbibu · 09/02/2008 19:53

Hi there

I don't really have much advice to offer, but lots of sympathy! (and keeping this bumped for you). It sounds a bit like he's raring to go, and I think babies can get quite frustrated when their development doesn't keep up with their ambition. Don't be too hard on yourself - we all do have a picture of what it will be like to have children, and what we will be like as parents, and mostly it doesn't match at all. And sometimes that's quite hard to deal with, especially when you're very tired! Have you got things like musical/moving toys to distract him while dressing/changing his nappy? He may settle again (as he did when he learnt to roll) when he crawls or shuffles a bit.

Original poster

Meandmyjoe · 09/02/2008 20:01

Yes, lots of toys and musical things but although these are a life saver sometimes, they don't always do the trick! Just putting him down can upset him. My family keep saying that it's just because he's clever and wanting to be on the move but it does worry me that he won't even be cuddled unless on the move. Sometimes I pace around with him for so long that my legs are throbbing and my back is aching as he now weighs 22lbs so it's like carrying a toddler around all day! I've just invested in a Kari me sling as he's grown out if his Tomy one but I'm currently waiting for it to be delivered. It concerns me that he's not a happy smiley baby,I so want him to be happy. Thank you so much for your sympathy though, I know it doesn't help much but it's cheered me up a bit! Thanks x

OP posts:

Onlyaphase · 09/02/2008 20:02

Hi
Agree with Habbibu, and I think you will see a big change for the better once he can crawl and move himself around. My DD has just come out of an unhappy phase as she has just learnt to walk - it was frustration making her unhappy.

One of the boys in my NCT group was like this, and also was early to crawl and walk (handy or what!) so don't despair, things will get better and you will have the life you planned, just a little later.

bubblagirl · 09/02/2008 20:02

my ds was the same he was in baby walker from 4 mths always strong on his legs

we had to pad a blanket round him in walker so he was upright although did fit in it as always been slightly bigger for his age

when in the walker it solved all problems he loved wandering around and learnt to become independant

he has been ok in his pushchair i think when we got him elc car pushchair toy he loved it more and became more settled

always had to give him something while in pushchair to keep him settled

kittywise · 09/02/2008 20:06

{{hugs}} to you.
I have one that that. he is just 10 months and is still just as hard as he ever was. Very high needs.
I know it WILL stop at some point though.
Keep holding onto that. It WILL stop

NumberSix · 09/02/2008 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Meandmyjoe · 09/02/2008 20:15

Thank you all for quick responses and support. GOSH, 10 MONTHS! You mean I have many months more like this? I think I may loose my marbles. I so want to enjoy our baby but I feel that I cant take him round to people's houses as I just end up pacing around with him and they think I'm nuts and my baby's mental! My Grandmother has actually said things like this which has made things worse. Is your baby crawling yet? Also, my baby is extremely hard to settle to sleep during the day and often screams before a nap whilst I rock him with the extractor fan on, yet at night, he has his bath, I dim the lights and dress him for bed and he's out like a light, usually within seconds of being put in his cot. I try this in the day and all hell breaks loose. Is my baby seriously wierd or is this normal?!

OP posts:

jellies · 09/02/2008 20:17

Poor you! I've been there too no 2 son was a miserable baby and is still stubborn and needs coaxing round to everyone elses way (but so smart and so funny. Crawling was a turning point for him.. became so much calmer I also took up baby sign language (well I bought a video!) we learned about 10 signs between 6 to 9 months bottle, food, tired, nappy, daddy, play, more and stop were the most usefull.. he made one up himself in which he was telling us to go away!LOL I don't know if it helped or if it all just got better, but it made me feel like I was doing something!?
It gets better and our next baby was a dream.

Reamhar · 09/02/2008 20:19

You might want to try him with one of these. Our 7 month old loves it. Lots of people have them for sale on ebay too. We've found it to be a total god send.

www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000LXQVA4/km-21/ref=nosim

NumberSix · 09/02/2008 20:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kittywise · 09/02/2008 20:21

Oh, please don't take my son as an indicator!!
Of all my children I've NEVER had one as difficult as him. I'm hoping that when he starts walking on his own (which should be this month) then things might improve.
His next sister up (just 2) is the most easy going child you'd ever hope to meet.
You'll get through it

Original poster

Meandmyjoe · 09/02/2008 20:21

Sadly, the only reliable thing he enjoys is walking aroung in someone's arms (he's not picky whose!) . He also enjoys being 'flown' through the air (me or my husband hold him laying on his tummy in the air while gently moving him back and forth, whilst the other hums the theme from superman) that's guarenteed to get a smile and a chuckle. And no, it doesn't work without the other one humming superman!Strange, the things we do to make babies happy!

OP posts:

NumberSix · 09/02/2008 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Habbibu · 09/02/2008 20:23

At six months he could go in a baby backpack if he doesn't like the pram - he may like being high up and close to you, and it'll be better on your back than carrying him in your arms. I'd try one out (borrow one if you can), and see if that at least helps a little bit.

Original poster

Meandmyjoe · 09/02/2008 20:24

Bless you kittywise, I hope your son gets walking this month cos 10 months is way too long to feel the way I do! I hope you've had lots of help and support too. Thank you!

OP posts:

jellies · 09/02/2008 20:29

You prob tried it have but I used to put DS2 in a fisherprice swing at sonic speed, it gave me an empty arm hour

Original poster

Meandmyjoe · 09/02/2008 20:30

He sleeps in the car pretty well but unfortunately, my husband has the car for work so not an option when on my own but thats about it. Another concern is that when he wakes up from a nap, he usually wakes up and almost immediately starts to cry til I walk with him again. He doesn't do this after his night sleep. Maybe he isn't ready to wake up but trying to put him back to sleep rarely works.

OP posts:

Original poster

Meandmyjoe · 09/02/2008 20:33

Due to his weight he is no longer allowed in his baby swing. It was only up to 9kg and he's over 10 now. Again though, sometimes it would work and he'd love it, other days he's scream to come out. He's an alkward one!

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lollipopmother · 11/02/2008 12:49

It was mentioned before but it might have gone unnoticed, baby sign language was highly recommended to me (not that I have a child ... yet!!) by a lady at work who said it was brilliant because babies want to communicate but they just can't, signing is a good half-way point, maybe this is something you could look into.

NumberSix · 11/02/2008 12:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Meandmyjoe · 11/02/2008 21:30

Wow, thanks I am looking into the sign language so thanks for the advice. I think that may be the main problem that he is frustrated with being immobile and unable to communicate which I feel he desperately wants to do. The problem is that as he is so cranky, his cries are very hard to read and this may be stressing him even more. I'm relieved that no one has suggested it is a medical thing such as milk intolerance or reflux. I actually convince myself sometimes there must be a medical reason why my baby is so unsettled. Perhaps I worry too much but that's probable due to the exhaustion that comes with walking around carrying a 22lbs baby most of the day!!!! I have also lookd into cranial osteopathy to see if this may offer answers. I have only emailed an osteopath describing my son's behaviour and he said he couldn't be sure without meeting him but that it sounds like he may have a pressure or discomfort in his back. Apparently this would explain him only wanting to be carried or occassionally laying to play on his back not liking to sit with us. I am not entirely convinced but if anone has any success stories or just thinks that my baby will improve naturally when he is more independant please let me know. Thanks!

OP posts:

celia500 · 13/02/2008 21:49

Hi there, I've just read your posts and had to reply because you could be describing my 5.5 month old DD! I've done so many laps of my sitting room I'm suprised I haven't made a groove in the floor..I also hate going out because unless she is in my arms she will cry and cry.

I've had a bit of a breakthrough in the last few weeks, and I think a lot of her crying and grumpiness was because she was not getting long enough naps, leaving her overtired. Does your little boy only take 30-40 min naps? I have started lying down with DD and she will then sleep for longer. When she wakes from a longish nap she will happily play on the floor for a bit. This isn't the best habit that I could have started but I'll take anything over the constant walking around..

NumberSix · 13/02/2008 22:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

suzi2 · 13/02/2008 22:12

Sounds a bit like my DS (though he would wake a few times in the night). Naps were hellish. Night time we just legged it and he went to sleep. He was a grouchy baby. But from 6 months or so we started to notice a change. He didn't get moving until 10 months though so got fairly frustrated. A lot of his grouchiness in the day was overtiredness and when he did finally start taking decent naps that helped.

My advice would be to keep the variety going. Set a timer for 15 mins and change rooms or activity. Will he go in a sling? A mei tai or similar is great at that age and going for walks and chatting along the way might be good. While he's not mobile try books for entertainment.

Is he teething? Also at this age they can get a bit clingier? If all else fails... try cbeebies...

Don't feel that you're doing something wrong. I always felt that way and was determined to get things right with DD. If anything I got it more wrong though... she was just the same but wakes every hour or two at night and takes a 2 hour screaming fit to go to sleep. She's a year now though and it does get gradually easier.

suzi2 · 13/02/2008 22:14

With regard to napping place. Do whatever works. DD will only nap in her buggy at the back door. Not ideal, but not bad at all.

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