what is a good answer to "but I don't want to go to nursery..."

[time4tea]

I always like to give a good explanation to DS1's questions. it is a good nursery, just for 2 days a week, and he joins in happily once he is there. explaining "Well, you need to learn things to be able to enjoy and take part in everything - reading, stories, playing with people, learning about other countries and animals etc" doesn't seem to make much impression. i do tell him I accept that sometimes we would all rather loaf around at home (which he loves), but it is good to get going and do something new with other people...

any tips on dealing with this one?

How old is he?

Your answer sounds a bit long-winded for a nursery age child tbh. I say to my ds things like 'X will be there and you can play together and have lots of fun. Then later on I'll come and get you, we'll have lunch and read the book you chose at nursery' blah blah'

"tough" would be my answer

Well personally I think a 'good explanation' can be very much over-rated with small children who really need simplified approach

options

"you love it when you're there"
"xxx

If you don't go to nursery, you can't go to big school.....

I aways used to say "Let's see how you feel when we get there".

I say "oh".

And then keep on doing whatever we need to do next to go there.

oh yes 'oh' is a good one too

my big problem is when I see friends doing this big long drawn out explanation I need to bite my lip hard to stop blurting out "tough, you're going" [girn]

I just say "and I don't want to go to work either honey, but we all have to do stuff in life we don't like...and sometimes it is much better than we expect"

lol - yes, I must admit to going 'mmmmmm' quite often.

"And I don't want to go to work. But I have to. Life's a bitch sometimes" How about that

Actually that is more or less what I say to my DCs when they whinge about school or nursery (without the bad word obviously) and it usually prompts a discussion of how work is better because you get paid and why don't 'they' pay children to go to school. And what about freedom of choice? And why do children have to do what adults tell them all the time? Which gets us happily out of the door. But I guess your LO is still too little.

I've just said "Well its not for very long and you'll soon be home" in response to exactly the same question.

I have put a treat in yourpack lunch - that's the only thing that stops it happening with my 2!
I also emphasise when i will be back to collect them - i will see you after sandwiches - because it's not about nursery really is it -it's about leaving you

I'd say 'I know sweetheart, but it won't be for long and you don't really have a choice' and take them, how old is he?
I agree that sometimes things can be over-explained to young children, they often lose interest in what you're saying after about four words anyway.

For things like 'I want to go to nursery in my pyjamas' I always say 'do your friends go in their pyjamas?' 'Er no' and happily gets dressed. I'm sure in a year or so I will be saying 'Just becasue your friend does it doesn't mean you have to' and my blatant manipulation will be exposed.

When mine does this, I just say 'OK, we won't go then.'

And then he jumps up and down and says 'but I want to go, I want to go.'

You know what they're like

Ha, yeah, Desi's right. DS always tells me he doesn't want something and as soon as I agree changes his mind. His current fave is not wanting his dinner, then when I say ok, you don't have to have dinner, he wants it.

I think sometimes kids can be like us..we agree to a night out then when the day arrives we often feel like we really don't want all the hassle of getting ready and going out and getting there and wouldn't it be great to just sit at home? ( Then we go anyway cos we promised and generally end up having a great time). Then we resolve to go out more..until the next time when we moan 'oh, i can't be bothered to go out tonight...'

In answer to the question I just say 'oh, but I would really love a picture'or 'oh, who will play with the dolls house/thomas the tank engine/sand pit ? 'etc and that normaly makes her want to go!!!

i agree \with oh and if they carry on then I say ohh remember last week when you did xxxxx at nursery and you loved it..etc etc

"we all have to do things we don't want to sometimes, you'll enjoy it once you're there"

DDfred is right, it's more to do with not wanting to go out than not wanting to go to nursery.

Perhaps something like, "I know, it's fun playing at home with Mummy. Wouldn't it be great if we could spend all day doing puzzles til our fingers fell off/painting until we were completely rainbow coloured/watch CBeebies til our eyes go square/[insert ludicrously extreme play activity here]

Or just say Mmmmm.

DD1 tries this every now and again.

The answer is, 'Too bad. You're going.'

if there is no reason that day why ds has to go, I don't make him

if I have an appointment or something, or have to work, I tell him that

he has asked not to go about 4 times in the last 12 months - I don't see it as a problem