what is a good answer to "but I don't want to go to nursery..."

[time4tea]

I always like to give a good explanation to DS1's questions. it is a good nursery, just for 2 days a week, and he joins in happily once he is there. explaining "Well, you need to learn things to be able to enjoy and take part in everything - reading, stories, playing with people, learning about other countries and animals etc" doesn't seem to make much impression. i do tell him I accept that sometimes we would all rather loaf around at home (which he loves), but it is good to get going and do something new with other people...

any tips on dealing with this one?

when mine was at kindergarten and he didn't want to go, I didn't send him if I could avoid it.

If I needed him in nursery for some reason, I explained to him what the reason was. And mummy needing a break, or time with other children alone, is a legitimate reason IMO, incidentally.

And if he wanted me to, I agreed to pick him up as soon as I could, not to make him stay the whole session if he didn't want to.

I never really get why kids HAVE to do these things, for their benefit. I don't really see what they actually learn when they are not getting to exercise any choice.

rantsalot, some friends who have family in Italy say that their littles pick it up remarkably quickly, and Italian for "it's not fair" was one of the first things their littles learned as kitbit says, maybe a focus on a few bits of playtime vocabulary/phrases that he would most find handy to say or he wishes he could say most. I had a disastrous year as an English assistant in a French school, and it was amazing how those trite phrases "Would you do that at home? well don't do it here?" soon become second nature

Great to hear both your examples kitbit and time4tea. I think that the hand gesture + "no" could come in very handy because ds does complain that children push him and I do feel at a loss for what to say - so thanks for that. I do hope that ds picks up the language quickly!

rantaslot, do you have a knowledge of the language where you are? we taught ds some simple phrases too for "don't push me" or "don't hit" and "wait", also we used some of the phrases around the house for simple instructions that the nursery staff would use such as
quiet please
do you need the toilet
your turn
please share

etc to try and make sure he at least understood what was going on around him. That might help too, ds certainly felt he was taking control and was much more settled and happy. We are in Spain, so if you need the spanish for any of these just shout! (sorry for slight hijack everyone)

"We'll go to the baker's afterwards" if I'm really desperate/not in the mood to cajole...

Just a thought - but I never tell dd I don't want to go to work (even if I don't!) as I want her to see going to work as a positive thing to look forward to when she grows up (which I didn't).

I couldn't honestly say I'd always perfer to be with dd than at work - so that's probably not a good option for me to use!

I tell ds (3.2) that I think of him when he is at nursery, I say things like "I was eating my lunch and wondered what you were eating for your lunch" and "I saw your picture on my desk and thought about what you were doing"- he tells me that he thinks about me when he goes for his nap. I also try and make the journey there quite fun so that he enjoys the actual getting to nursery bit. Still get the screaming abdabs in the morning sometimes but I know he is fine as soon as I drop him off.

Personally my first response would be "Why?"