Did you ever have a baby that screams ALL THE TIME?

[nowwearefour]

How did you cope? Mine is now 8 months and although she is good at night the days are just unbearable. For probably 5 months she ha screamed all day. I have a 2.5 year old too and it is very very hard on her. She is totally breastfed and no wheat no dairy in her main diet. I waited til 6 months til solids and give her plenty of meat, veg, fruit etc. So i jsut cant think waht it is. she was an early crawler (6 months) and it could be she is now frustrated and wanting to cruise (She can pull up but not move much once she is there at the mo) or it could be teeth- she only has one. Her temp seems raised today so i have given her calpol. But i am v v close to looking into adopting her out as i just cannot cope any more. My DH is v supportive but there is a limit to what he can do when at work all day and a limit to how many times he can come home early... My pa in law coming over any minute to help me. BUt I cannot cope with much more of this....

Mine did - unti he was ten weeks old, and then we took him for cranial osteopathy which calmed him down incredibly. I don't know if CO will work for you, but also there's a great organisation called Cry-sis that can help you.

Ds did. He yelled all day and all night. Fortunately he was my first, and you have my deepest sympathy if you have another as well.

I just learned to switch off a bit I think. That sounds very heartless, and I think it did make me a bit heartless TBH. I say I became immune to the sound of a crying baby, and I think dd (who came next and was a very easy baby) may have suffered a bit because of it . But it was the only way I survived.

I held him, because it made me feel a bit better to do so (didn't seem to have any effect on him), and watched a lot of television with the subtitles on. And handed him over as soon as DH got in the door.

I had one, it lasted about a year day and night and then she became a serious houdini. She was a serious challenge after having such an easy baby a couple of years before - I thought the whole parenting thing was an absolute doddle until she came along.

15 years on and she is still the most, um, challenging of my 3 children. Probably coincidence but she is also the most able, academically and in her creative pursuits - not that these amount to much consolation for you. I always wondered if there was a connection there though.

I found keeping her on the move helped and that the screaming and frustration ebbed away as her speech and general mobility developed.

did it eventually stop- i need to knoe there is hope??

Well, he's six now, and while he still has the odd tantrum...

No, he stopped at about 11 months.

Although not during the night

That went on 'til about 18 months I think.

It's a bit of a blur...

i must admit i had wondered whether it is to do with being high maintenance and possibly slightly more able but clearly there are millions of v v highest ability kids out there who werent nightmare babies but perhaps a small percentage of them were the more testing babies? my pa in law arrives and she is all smiles it is soooo unbelievable that happens! perhaps becaues the general mood is lifted i dont know

My friends DD is now 7 months and has marginally turned a corner and now cries less. I will direct her to this thread as she has researched/read A LOT so maybe able to offer some tips. Try looking up 'high needs' baby by Dr Sears, there is loads of info online, which may give you some answers.

thanks will look up dr sears

DD2 started crying at 3 weeks & seemed to go on forever.Even my mum,who worked as a nursery nurse & coped with a whole room full of crying babies in her time,said that DD2 was a difficult baby to soothe.

I think she stopped as as soon as she could get about on her own.We figured that perhaps it was because she could see her older sister walking about & picking up toys & was frustrated that she couldn't do the same.

At nearly 3,she is still harder work than her older sister,but is very good by most peoples standards,ie no real tantrums.

Oh she was a VERY sicky baby.Until she was 1,we were permanently covered in sick.She may have had reflux,but I had a hell of a job trying to convince my GP that that was the case.

I hope it improves for you soon.

I would worry about sore ears or reflux or something myself. I hope you find some peace soon.

I sympathise. My first dd was a high maintenance baby from day 1. Rarely slept during the day unless in a sling or in the pram for the first four months, and grumpy unless being carried around until she could walk and explore independantly at about 13 months. Saying that though there was constant inmprovement throughout that first year, and I found lots of trips out in the buggy and people around to our house really made things better. She was a fantastic sociable toddler and is a bright sparky 5 year old now. My second dd was even worse! V clingy although less screamy than dd1. I really could barely put her down and she wouldn't go to anyone else. However, again she got sooooo much better when she could walk and by 15 months was fantastic, ans is now a really lovable 3 year old who I have absolutely no problems with! So things DO get better. I found getting out of the house and having lots of supportive friends really helped. We have even gone on to have number 3 who is also 8 months old. He again is high maintenance in much the same way as the girls, and does spend a lot of the day shouting. It is hard though, but finding things to take your mind of it helps, and knowing it will pass does too. Reassuringly my DD1 cannot recall how cross her sister was as a baby. I just think that some children don't enjoy being babies and just want to be more independant and are frustrated with the baby stage. Good luck, and hopefully like me you will forget the difficult baby times and remember all the good bits!

I sympathise. My first dd was a high maintenance baby from day 1. Rarely slept during the day unless in a sling or in the pram for the first four months, and grumpy unless being carried around until she could walk and explore independantly at about 13 months. Saying that though there was constant inmprovement throughout that first year, and I found lots of trips out in the buggy and people around to our house really made things better. She was a fantastic sociable toddler and is a bright sparky 5 year old now. My second dd was even worse! V clingy although less screamy than dd1. I really could barely put her down and she wouldn't go to anyone else. However, again she got sooooo much better when she could walk and by 15 months was fantastic, ans is now a really lovable 3 year old who I have absolutely no problems with! So things DO get better. I found getting out of the house and having lots of supportive friends really helped. We have even gone on to have number 3 who is also 8 months old. He again is high maintenance in much the same way as the girls, and does spend a lot of the day shouting. It is hard though, but finding things to take your mind of it helps, and knowing it will pass does too. Reassuringly my DD1 cannot recall how cross her sister was as a baby. I just think that some children don't enjoy being babies and just want to be more independant and are frustrated with the baby stage. Good luck, and hopefully like me you will forget the difficult baby times and remember all the good bits!

i think you need to remember that all things like this are a phase - that it will end,my ds1 has phases of doing vile things [he has special needs that contributde to this] and what gets me through is that it's the same lovely boy underneath and one day i'll realise he's not done it for ages.
i would second all suggestions to get out of the house.

nnowwearefour, here is the link to Dr Sears book on high need babies: The Fussy Baby Book. This is the link to his website: here

Sears believes the babies are difficult because of their inborn personality. I agree. Having had 2 of them, that is clear to me. As it is a personality thing, they never really outgrow it . But the good news is that the baby phase is the MOST difficult, for both you and dd. In comparison, toddlerhood is a breeze and pre-schooler like a holiday. It really does get better as your dd hits each milestone. Once she can start talking, it will be sooooo much better. I am actually enjoying dd's 4.6 company now. Ds 16 months is however a different kettle of fish

The great thing is that the personality traits that make them challenging as children are fantastic traits as they get older: persistance, pushing boundaries, sociability, cuddliness, engaging, enthusiastic. Your dd will be a mover and shaker [bask]! You will have the last laugh.

My dcs get their personality from their father. Dh is my MIL's firstborn - she still shudders when she remembers her baby days with him. It suddenly got better when he was 3 (same with my dd) and today, dh is the most driven and successful of his siblings, who were easier as babies. He is also the most intelligent (IMO ) as well as gentle and thoughtful.

Me, DS seemed to cry all the time, very very loudly. People would look stunned when he started up, my SIL whose DS is 7 months older and an angel, would look faint. It was SO loud and could go literally for hours.

He is now ten months and the crying has pretty much stopped - obviously he still cries on occasion and when he does its pretty bad, but nowhere near how things were. I think getting him into a good routine helped, he now sleeps well at night and has good naps during the day. Also as he gets physically more able he is less frustrated so has less to cry about.

One good thing - he is such a little talker - I'm sure the constant crying has turned into yammering.

georgiemama, was just laughing at your description of ds' stunning crying.

I remember when ds woke in his buggy when I was helping dd do a wee in a crampled toilet. He cried so loudly and intensely these total strangers came to find me and kept asking "what is wrong, what is wrong?" I just shrugged and muttered "oh that is just ds" and finished with dd as fast as I could.

At nursery, ds is an angel, totally different at home, the monkey. The nursery staff told me one day how ds had a paddy whilst sitting in his chair waiting for pudding that was taking too long. They said they never heard such a loud noise come from such a little person. Then I asked "did he sweep everything off the table, did he squirm about on the floor?". When they said no, I thought blimey, and ds hadn't even warmed up!

My ds was like this for many months. It's so very very draining. You know you have done everything you possible can but still left thinking there's something you've missed. There isn't. You just have 'one of those' babies. I used to comfort myself by saying that all those around me with these perfect, gurgly, giggly babies would 'get theirs' in a few years time while I was having my hardest time early on. For the most part they have!
Take advantage of any babysitters, get out into the fresh air (difficult at the moment I know), tell partner and good friends how it's making you feel and don't ever hesitate to put baby in a safe place (at this age, perhaps consider a dreaded playpen) and walk away for ten minutes break when it gets too much.
BTW, my ds (now 13) was off school today and was so quiet I had to keep going off to check he was still in the house.
This too shall pass!!

Make sure you get time to yourself, nowwearefour. If she's good at night so you know you'll get decent sleep, then go out in the evening - see friends, go for a swim... every day is a new day!
If she is very switched on and bright, then she might benefit from having more to do - babycentre.co.uk has games you can play with babies of different ages. I expect you go to toddler groups already - going to places where 3 year olds are tearing around and screaming will make you feel less worried about your lo's loud cry.
I've heard that Cry-sis is brilliant.

Thanks for all these messages and links- so very encouraging and helpful. Today with dh around and my mum etc she has been a different baby. So there is a reprieve every now and then i just need to take it. And i will start going to more toddler groups again- i had kind of stopped as just did not have the energy to get outof the hosue much. but i really should as it really will help. next week i will before half term closes things down!!

My ds did at every stage and still does although to a lesser extent.
He is almost 2 and at every stage it has brought tears. When he was tiny he had reflux , then as that got treated it was frustration and still is, over crawling, walking and now talking.
HE cannot get a word in beside his siter and has very few words. HE is a little less frustrated now as he is finding other ways to tell me what he wants and he is finding a few words.

I can really empathise it is so hard. THe poster that said you become a bit de-sensitised to it was spot on. As cruel as it sounds there are times where I have just had to walk away and get on with it otherwise dd and I would never eat or go to the loo etc.

I knw now what is temper and what needs attending to but I feel terribly guilty I never believed in leaving babies to cry and never did with dd but normal life would never have resumed if I never did it with ds.

My third cried all the time until he was 1yo. He also appeared to hate me and everyone else. Now he doesn't but he's very bossy - has tantrums if he doesn't get what he wants. He's very affectionate, sociable and smiley now thank heavens, always making up baby jokes.

Someone said to me "they cry tears, not blood", which made me feel better about leaving him in the cot for ages and going to do something else when I couldn't stand it anymore.

My sister did this shs cried all day, every day, from birth until the age of 5. (school) I kid you not. We have ONE photo of her as a baby were she wasn't crying, It's a shame really as my overwhelming memories of my childhood is dsis crying and crying. Her daughter is just the same. It is, for want of a better word very wearisome, but because we know that it drove my mam loopy, all of our side of the family chip in to help ... A LOT.

My dd did until about 6wks old. She was a hungry baby and was continually bf. I swapped to formula because I was exhausted and she was also exhausted. The continual feeding meant that she became more and more overtired and would not settle. This became a vicious circle as the more tired she became the less she took at a feed and the more she needed to feed, which led to less sleep and both our moods deteriorating.
Going onto bottles enabled her to take a full feed with less effort which then settled her for longer and enabled her to sleep more regularly day and night.
Hey presto transformed baby and mum.
Sleep times were 1.5 hours AM, 12-1400ish and 45 mins before dinner about 1600 then slept 7-7 at 12 wks.