3.5 year old's self esteem

[Mazzatron]

DS is almost 4. I've come to realise from reflection that I think he's struggling with self esteem. He's really defiant at times especially when it comes to going somewhere new or just changing the activity. He also says things like "no one will want to be my friend" or other very negative things. He's so wonderful and sweet. How can I help him to have a more positive outlook on life and himself? Obviously I do encourage him, compliment him and make sure he knows how loved he is. I just want to help him feel happy and relaxed .

We’ve had this with our middle son. He’s now 6 and still struggles at times with new situations, visitors to the house and being dropped at school.

In our case we haven’t been able to make it go away, but have reduced somewhat by being careful not to trigger anxiety by talking about going somewhere new for instance.

We’ve also tried harder to build confidence through encouragement and positive praise more than in the other two as they've needed it less and he’s needed it more.

Clubs have been a battle but once he feels like he’s at the same level as others he quickly really enjoys them. Swimming and football in our case.

I’d also say that <4 is still very young for it to be a major concern and there’s time yet for them to grow out of it and in to a more confident and positive being.

Bless them.