Dealing with difficult eaters...at what age do you say "that's your meal, you're not having anything else until you eat it" etc etc

[hattyyellow]

Would welcome any help.

We have twin girls who are 2.5 years old.

When they were weaned they were great eaters..everything I gave them they happily ate, all sorts of vegetables and fruit, fish pie, chicken, all flavours and styles of food..I thought I had it cracked..

Then they discovered toddler rebellion..I used to enjoy cooking something for us that they'd also eat but now they're even refusing pasta..They will quite happily eat a meal of "picnic" type food..some cheese, some toast, hummus, some bits of ham, sometimes cucumber and cherry tomatoes, most types of fruit, yogurt..They will also eat scrambled eggs, baked beans and fishfingers...

They will occasionally eat pasta with home made tomato sauce...other recipes which my friends cook for their children who happily eat it seem to fall by the wayside with mine...they won't eat spag bol, macaroni cheese, stew, risotto, chicken dishes, fish pie etc...

I don't think I'm that bad a cook that my cooking is putting them off...they just won't try anything that looks like a proper dish. I've tried putting in lots of cheerfully coloured foods, making the flavour not too bland but not too strong..

DH now thinks we should try the line of "that's your meal so eat it" rather than allowing them to fill up on yogurt/fruit/toast when they don't eat whatever "proper" meal I've prepared...but neither of us wants to see a 2.5 year old go to bed hungry..

What age would you start following this course of action? Any tips for getting them to eat? I try and stay pretty calm at meal times, sometimes I try and coax, sometimes I rename things "mr tumble pasta" etc but they're still not interested...

I'm sure I'm not the only one with toddlers like this with their eating - it's just I haven't met anyone in RL whose toddler seems to do the same...and whenever we go out/or I feel sad that they won't eat the dish that's there..

This is so difficult, and so many different views on how to deal with fussiness.
I really try hard to relax around food having grown up with a brother who was the fussiest eater in the world. He survived on a really limited diet - tomato soup, cheese, chipolata sausages, potato waffles are the ones I remember. My mum tried everything. I think the problem was likely she had no consistent approach. He stayed fussy until he left home and realised his ways were socially embarrassing.. he slowly increased his range and although still fussy, eats a varied diet. He's also done very well for himself in life and is a fitness fanatic with a great job (so not compromised by shocking nutrition!)

I'm waffling but I suppose my point is that you have a way of dealing with these things that you stick to. Mine is simply to lead by example. I serve a range of healthy foods which DD can choose to eat or not. If she's still asking for food after refusing something, she gets bread and butter or fruit - nothing fancy made for her. She eats a good range of stuff over the course of a week (I don't count days at a time) and I don't make any fuss or coax her to try anything.

I've taken on board a lot of stuff I've read here and really agree with food not being used as punishment or reward, or one food being given 'higher status' than another. I don't withold pudding if we're having it. If we are it's mostly yoghurt or fruit anyway. I don't make any fuss if she doesn't want it, but do show her that I'm enjoying what I'm eating.

I still worry it's not the right approach, but am sticking to my guns in being consistent with this!
Good luck and solidarity to those scraping leftovers in the bin! (am very grateful to have food waste recycling where we live)