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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

So, my 3 yr old can wee on the toilet quite happily, but will not poo on the toilet! Any advice?

16 replies

Cowgirlboots · 17/01/2008 18:12

Hi!
My daughter has been doing really well with weeing on the loo. She gets a sticker everytime to go on her chart. But when it comes to pooing she will ask for a nappie and if we dont give her a nappie she will do it in her knickers. We have asked her to go on the loo, she cries. We have let her run around naked so she will hold it in until we put a nappie on at bed time! She crouches in the corner with a nappie on and if we look at her she shouts at us. i think she is embarrased but I dont know why. :-(

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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wheelybug · 17/01/2008 18:18

I know its a cliche but it will happen.

DD turns 3 next week. If 3 months ago someone had told me she'd be potty trained by 3 I would have laughed in there face as she was quite capable but refused to sit on potty or toilet at all. Suddenly at 2.10 she decided the latest offered bribe was enough to make her want to. However, she refused to poo despite being almost 100% faultless on wees.

A week ago if you'd told me she'd be pooing on the potty/toilet by the time she turns 3 I would have laughed again. However, last weekend she started to show signs of doing it and following a bit of an accident at swimming (yes - urgh- but did not cause an evacuation situation) she is now pooing in the right place !

So, there is nothing really that has made her do it, she just had to take her time and decide to do it on her own.

Good luck !

Original poster

Cowgirlboots · 17/01/2008 18:22

Thanks wheelybug. That is quite reasuring.
Changing the subject a little...what you doing for your daughters birthday? I have no idea what to do, dont want party at home again this yr.

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wheelybug · 17/01/2008 18:27

having a party at the local leisure centre - they get an hour of soft play and then an hour for tea and games. I didn't want 20 toddlers rampaging round my house either in the middle of January !!

FrannyandZooey · 17/01/2008 18:28

Ds was very scared of poos in the toilet - please don't push it - he ended up holding on out of fear and it was very very unpleasant for a few days until we managed to reassure him it was ok to do it in a nappy

I think the feeling of dropping away and losing something is quite intense compared to going in a nappy. Can you tell I have thought about this too much? I would leave it for a while then gently try again, but at any point if she is anxious about it, do go slowly and don't push it. It will happen.

Original poster

Cowgirlboots · 17/01/2008 18:29

I think I will have to do something like that. Cheers! Hope you have a lovey day

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wheelybug · 17/01/2008 18:30

Yes - agree with Franny. DD was holding it for up to 5 days until she decided she'd do it.

She has insisted on going back to a potty to do it when she had been using the toilet 100% but we'll work back up to the toilet once she's v. happy doing her poos in the potty.

Original poster

Cowgirlboots · 17/01/2008 18:31

Thanks FaZ. I wont push her, dont worry. Was just worrying I was doing something wrong or she was scared. But she will happily do it in her nappie so I will take it slow with her. At least I can take her out for little trips to the shop in just her knickers now. Its great!!

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FrannyandZooey · 17/01/2008 18:32

no I think it is really common and I don't think you have done anything wrong

sounds like she is doing very well

Original poster

Cowgirlboots · 17/01/2008 18:34

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clapton · 17/01/2008 18:40

My daughter was like this, she is 3 and is now fully toilet trained.

I agree with FrannyandZooey about not letting go. Some children are very precious about it.

I made a break through when one day she had gone in the bathroom and had done a poo in her knickers. I tipped it into the toilet and said that is where the poo likes to go!!! Then she happily flushed it way.
Sorry if TMI

Desiderata · 17/01/2008 18:50

Same problem with my ds. He's been dry from 2.6 and never had an accident. On his third birthday, he went dry through the night too.

But he won't pooh on the toilet. He just won't, and any pressure just means that he holds it in and makes himself ill. The only way I deal with it is to insist that he puts his own nappy on if he needs to go .. which he does happily because for him, the alternative is not an option.

I have to say, though, that at 3.2 I'm starting to feel the exasperation rise again.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 17/01/2008 18:51

You need to use a potty until she is happy to do it there. It is easy for them to poo when their feet are on the ground, ime.

hollyhobbie · 17/01/2008 18:59

My DD (2.9) is like this too but (apart from once recently at her daycare), to my knowledge she hasn't had a poo while awake for months!
I think she really doesn't like doing it and can only 'let go' while asleep.
We keep talking about how she should use the potty, but haven't put any pressure on her. I guess it will happen when it happens...

megancat · 18/01/2008 11:48

We had this with my son for a long time and tried all sorts of approaches. I think for most kids it just happens when they are ready but if it seems like it isn't just happening and your patience runs out after a long time there are some different things you can try. Have a look at the website called eric (do a google) which is full of advice on all sorts of worries around kids and the loo. Ideas like making the loo into a 'princess throne' with a crown and a wand to wear or similar for a prince. Also practical things like having instruments to blow while sitting on the loo as it helps bowels to open. Asa apparently does having feet on a little stool (ho ho) Also to try and work out if its itting there in general or the feel of doing the poo. Can try putting a nappy in to line the potty as a halfway house. Or just leave it till she is a bit older and try again. Either way ERIC really helped me (free advice line for anywone who is getting really worried) and they said there is no right and wrong and it will get sorted in the end etc. Good luck.

Penstar · 22/01/2008 00:10

Same problem with me he is 3 yrs old and he is toilet trained for number 1s and has no accidents. But when he wants to do a poo he asks for a nappy. Any pressure just means that he holds it in. The only way I deal with it is to insist that he puts his own nappy on if he needs to go. which he does happily. Not sure what to do I am giving him plenty of foods in high fibre like, spinach, corn, raw tomatoes apples and vegie soup even to ensure he doesn't get constipated.

Original poster

Cowgirlboots · 25/01/2008 14:50

Hi all!

Well, a couple of days after I started this thread, my dd suddenly did a poo in the toilet! I couldnt believe it! She hasnt had a single accident since either! Its amazing!!

She used to put on her own nappie when she wanted to go and something just suddenly clicked! Im soooooooooo happy!

Now I just have to get her dry at night, but there is no rush for that.

Thanks everyone xx

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