I'm not good enough

[NAB3wishesfor2008]

DS1 hurt DD. Sent him to the step. Refused to go and pushed his sister hurting her. Have spent the last 3/4 hours trying to get him to sit on his step. He has wrecked the lounge, spoilt DD and DS2's game several times. Frightened the cat and the baby. Hidden in various places. Refused to go to his room. Refused to have his tea. (My cooking and baking are awful apparently)
Threatened to run away so I took all the keys. Somehow he got out of the front door and ran half way down the road. I had to abandon DD and DS2 and run after him. What the hell do I do? He is 7 in March. I know he has been angry over the death of GN but this seems plain bad behaviour. DH not here and can't come home. Help!

totally agree with your posts on here, VS

Okay. Plan.

He says or does something mean to his siblings. Ignore? What do I say/do to the injured party?

Rude/cheeky to me. Ignore?

Wants any of his toys back?

I don't want to go and get him? I know that makes me sound awful.

Just make one comment 'That wasn't very nice George' (use his name though obv ), comfort injured party, and ignore.

Rudeness to you, I often combat with an overacted surprised face, and say something like Oh my gosh, were you just rude to me young man' and then follow it up with a tickle or chase up the stairs or something, then once the situation ahs been broken up say 'You wont talk to mummy like that again will you? it's not nice'.

Wants his toys back, just say, 'sure, if you can behave for me whilst I do then I'll get one of them for you, which one do you want'.

Says or does something mean to siblings, ignore - and try to get the 'wronged' sibling over to you for some good attention, as in "oh, come and help me do (something they like!)" A minute or two later I'd try to ensure he's engaged on something interesting so that he's diverted...or have something very pressing to say to him "Oh, ds I meant to say to you, did you know that Dr Who is on Saturday" (you know, just something he's interested in and will want to talk about). It's all about MOVING ON!

Rude/cheeky, mainly ignore - or say you will speak to him if he can be politer...if not to annoying/rude, use humour! Go up to him, with a little smile, and whisper "anyone who says that to me gets a tickle"....wiggle eyebrows, etc etc. Works for me, sounds mad

Realistic expectations: OF COURSE he will want his toys back! I think he should have them back! Perhaps just say to him that as he's been such a JOY since he got home from school, (he doesn't have to have BEEN a joy, just not actually hospitalised a sibling. Acheivable targets!) he will have them back. No conditions - end of story. Move on.

VS how similar is that, even the tickling!!

agree totally with VS..
try and forget all this upset for a minute now, go and get him and give him a big hug

Someone come round and help me.

I'll give you all the chocolate that is in the cupbaord. And there is a LOT!!!!!!!!!

LOL NAB, we'll do anything for choc....

I need to go in 45 mins so you had better be quick!

glad you sound a bit perkier...

aw don't be not wanting to get him NAB You just have a big smile for him and say how lovely it is to see him.

Keep him talking about stuff he likes! Most boys can bore talk on about stuff for hours happily...star wars? Dr Who? inner workings of helicopters? whatever it is, let him talk and just keep saying "ooo" and "mmm" in the right places. That may see you through till you get home!

Just eaten 5 chocolates.

I can't do this anymore.

Course you can! and save some of those chocs for me

what can't you do?

Be a Mum.

have you got some friends nearby you can have tea with tonight? Just to give you a break...

unless you want to get into the hippydippy realms of punishment-free parenting.*

I'd be interested if you could explain this statement a bit more please.

Time's getting close and I feel like crying.

DH is mega stressed at work and doesn't know what to do either.

NAB .. can you invite anybody back with you .. another adult could help take the pressure off

I'm so sorry you're feeling so down .. but really you can do this ...

is there something he likes doing .. like drawing or colouring .. can you have a snack and an activity waiting for him? .. or even a treat night .. a dvd and popcorn?

I don't know anyone excpet one lovely lady with 3 of her own and I haven't got enough decent food or energy to have 6 kids in my house. She did offer to take the other 2 for me but DS1 would have seen that as a treat and Hubby said no.

Right, I am off to get ready.

Wish me luck.

it's a new day though NAB ... I think you could treat him maybe and see if it helps?

Good luck .. you CAN do this