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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD cries on everyone!

16 replies

PorridgeBrain · 06/01/2008 20:41

DD is nearly 4 months but for as long as I can remember, she cries when anyone except for myself and DH go near her. With family, I thought it was because she doesn't see them all the time, however my next door neighbour has come in several times a week since she was born and she always cries on her. Its getting really embarassing that no-one can hold her without her screaming the house down and I am nervous as the prospect of leaving her with a babysitter. I'm also concerned that if she is like this now, what is she going to be like when so called ' separation anxiety' kicks in! Any tips on how to encourage my little cherub to be a little more sociable??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Enid · 06/01/2008 20:43

yes stop worrying and stop letting everyone else hold her, she's only tiny and she is telling you she hates it.

juuule · 06/01/2008 20:52

Listen to Enid. She is giving good advice.
Wanting a 4month old to be 'sociable'

Habbibu · 06/01/2008 20:53

I'm with Enid - she's tiny. (the baby, not Enid. Not that I'd know...). Anyway - let her be held and comforted by who she needs - let her feel secure with you and the rest will come in its own time.

Original poster

PorridgeBrain · 06/01/2008 21:06

I had a feeling you were going to say as such . Am just concerned 'cos I have to go back to work in a couple of months and have heard stories where babies are unable to go to nursery as they won't settle. Guess I will just have to keep my fingers crossed!

OP posts:

Enid · 06/01/2008 21:07

enjoy the couple of months before you go back and dont listen to family and friends who try to hold her

say no she doesnt like it

Habbibu · 06/01/2008 21:08

A couple of months is a long time at that stage. She will get her security and confidence from you - keep giving her all the security and cuddles she needs.

mrsgboring · 06/01/2008 21:16

While I agree that a couple of months is a long time, take it from one who DIDN'T manage to go back to work because she'd made the wrong childcare choice. Go and visit your prospective nursery again now and, even though you have chosen it with care, look at it again with new critical eyes based on how your DD is. Have a think about what she will need to be doing to cope with the environment.

If she is sensitive, and she may be, then she will do better with a childminder, and thinking about this now will give you time to find one your DD is comfortable with. (A good friend I see once in a blue moon is a CM. My DS would go to her on first meeting but not to others he knew well, so there are folk out there with the magic touch.)

Nedmum · 06/01/2008 21:20

At 4mo, ds hated everyone apart from me and daddy, even my mother. Got really wound up at toddler group, wouldn't be held by anyone, even Gran, for more than a couple of seconds. He's now 7.5mo, and the most nosy sociable little thing. He stares at people in shops to make them pay attention to him, and will happily sit on anyone, even people he's never met. So, just a few months can change a lot. Just to give you some hope.

BroccoliSpears · 06/01/2008 21:20

I think the more you and DP hold her, and the less she is held by people she objects to, the more likely she will become confident about other people. Forcinf it will have the opposite effect. Good luck. Enjoy your cuddles!

Enid · 06/01/2008 21:20

yes agree childminders would be much better for sensitive baby

mollythetortoise · 06/01/2008 21:25

sounds like you may have a sensitive baby (the baby whisperer book by Tracy Hogg can give you some ideas on dealing with this type of baby). IMO a sensitive baby may be much better off with a child minder when you go back to work rather than a nursery. A home enviroment plus one main carer may be a lot less unsettling for a baby that doesn't like new people/ places etc. Check out the childminding topic on this board for more info on childminders if you want more advice. I am not a childminder btw but have used them for my dd (who i also think was a sensitive baby). She is not sensitive now (at 4) and very happy around strangers generally.

Original poster

PorridgeBrain · 06/01/2008 21:25

Thanks mrsgboring for understanding my concerns. That's exactly what I was worried about esp as things have got no better over the last 4 months.

OP posts:

Original poster

PorridgeBrain · 06/01/2008 21:28

Thanks mollythetortoise too for your constructive advice.

OP posts:

meep · 06/01/2008 21:33

PorridgeBrain, your DD sounds identical to mine. Would cry if held by someone who wasn't me or DH even if I was sitting right next to her! For some reason this has changed since Christmas Day - she is now so excited to see her Granny & Grandpa and loves getting cuddles from them. They can hold her and I can even leave the room - for long periods of time! This all happened just before she turned 6 months - and is a huge relief for me as I am about to go back to work! So cuddle your DD and she will let you know when she is happy to be cuddled by others

Original poster

PorridgeBrain · 06/01/2008 22:20

Thanks Meep. Oddly enough, DD was like a different baby over Christmas and we thought we had turned a corner. But since then has gone the other way and got worse. Saw Grandparents today and it was a nightmare. Your story is encouraging though. Glad all was well for you before you went back to work!

OP posts:

meep · 06/01/2008 22:25

I'm not back at work yet PorridgeBrain - I still have 2 precious weeks left! I am leaving dd with her grandparents this week as they will be doing some of the childcare - I have been doing that for the past couple of months - some visits were a disaster - and others have been fine. I got myself all worked up about it to the point that I would cry at the thought of leaving her with strangers when I go back to work. I am much happier about it now though - it is amazing how much they change between 4 and 6 months!

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