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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Direct question from ds. What would you say?

22 replies

Tiggerish · 04/01/2008 20:57

Sitting at the kitchen table at my parents' house he asked how babies got into their Mummys' tummies. I knew it was going to come at some point but I really wasn't expecting it yet he's still so young (5.8)(but obviously growing up fast)

Anyway I told him about Mummys having eggs in their tummies which he was happy with for a few moments. Then he asked what makes them start to grow into babies

I have to confess I wimped out of answering that one as dd was (conveniently) vying for attention

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JingleyJen · 04/01/2008 20:59

OOhh had this conversation with a friend yesterday - her Dh is a biology teacher so she said - ask you dad - Dad said - well girls are born with lots of eggs inside them and when one is fertilized then it makes a baby start to grow.

Her daughter (7) said Oh and carried on colouring a picture.

What to say at the point they ask how they are fertilized I am not sure!

TheAccidentalParent · 04/01/2008 21:00

I would say Daddy puts a seed in Mummy's tummy which make the egg grow into babies. (OK I know it's mixing metaphors).

And if the following questions was how does Daddy put the seed into Mummy's tummy, umm I might tell him the truth or I might say something a bit vauge, like it happens sometimes when you have a special kiss and cuddle

Maidamess · 04/01/2008 21:02

I just said Daddys seed swims into mummys tummy and joins up with the egg and grows and grows. We havent quite got into HOW the seed gets in there. Altho he understands about mammals mating, because all his farm animals are 'at it' on his bedroom carpet. He's watched Wildlife on One, you see.

dirtygertiefromnumber30 · 04/01/2008 21:03

i just told my ds the truth (4.5) when he asked.

I explained in basic terms about sex and how it was only done between two people that love each other etc.

He was very non plussed and just said 'oh'.

The early they know the better imo, they will just accept it without question (far more embarrassing when you leave it til they are 9/10 i reckon!!)

Original poster

Tiggerish · 04/01/2008 21:04

lol, it's the detail that's worrying me!! He seems to be developing into a "detail" child

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Artichokes · 04/01/2008 21:04

Totally agree with DirtyGertie - tell them straight and they won't be that interested. Make it sound mysterious and they will want to know more and more AND they may get the wrong idea and develope some confusing ideas.

ChasingSquirrels · 04/01/2008 21:05

tell him the truth, what else is there to do?

notnowbernard · 04/01/2008 21:06

DD1 asked me what 'The Holy Herb' was today (lyric from a song dp was listening to in the car)

Wasn't expecring to give a Drugs Talk at age 4.1

southeastastra · 04/01/2008 21:07

blimey no i don't give the facts at all. i'm too embarassed.

i just say they grow in tummy and leave it at that.

80sMum · 04/01/2008 21:07

I found the book Being Born by Sheila Kitzinger very good. It's aimed at 4 - 8 year-olds and has some stunning photos of babies in utero. Sadly now out of print, but you can get hold of second-hand copies, hopefully foe less than £25 though!

Blandmum · 04/01/2008 21:07

IME you answer the question that they ask and then stop.

If they want more information they will ask.

there is no point in giving them more information than they can process at any one time.

Keep it simple, be factual and let them dictate the pace.

Gursky · 04/01/2008 21:08

My mum claims she told me the whole truth when I asked - about 3yo - and all I could ask was 'does it tickle? If it does, I don't want to do it'.

I have one DS and another on the way, so clearly I didn't stick to my guns.

Original poster

Tiggerish · 04/01/2008 21:09

I like the idea of a special kiss and cuddle TAP; but Artichokes, I do think you have a good point about developing some confusing ideas

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dinny · 04/01/2008 21:10

dd asked the other day (she's 5 and a half) and I told her, but was vague about how the Daddy made the baby and how it got out...

did make me laugh the other day - dh in the bath, dd was pottering round and for the first time ever really (despite baths together since babydom) locked her eyes on dh's willy and she just pointed and went "EURGH!"

lol

Blandmum · 04/01/2008 21:11

Ha! one child's questions are nothing. Try a class of 11 year olds

Monkeybird · 04/01/2008 21:11

Mummy laid an egg by Babette Cole has always been our standard text for the 3-6 age range... It's very funny but in the end doesn't flannel them with made up stuff...

But I agree, answer one question at a time (I've found eggs, seeds and special cuddles are adequate until they get to about 6-7 and get a bit more, er, pedantic!)

Original poster

Tiggerish · 04/01/2008 21:11

Wise words as ever MB. My problem is thinking how to phrase the facts in a suitable way.

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southeastastra · 04/01/2008 21:13

i would lie and be embarrassed with 11 year olds too.

mummy laid an egg? haha

yes mb is right, only answer their questions, otherwise you'd freak them out!

ChasingSquirrels · 04/01/2008 21:13

ds1 (5.3y) told me in horror a few months ago that dh and I must have had the special cuddle twice (we have 2 dc's). I said "well actually we have done it alot more than that, its a nice thing that grown-ups who love each other as part of loving each other". He said "oh.....can you come and play lego mummy?". Which given the horror he expressed at the thought of us doing it twice was pretty funny.

Original poster

Tiggerish · 04/01/2008 21:13

I reckon I could handle a class of 11 year olds better than one 5 year old, MB - I'm much more used to it

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discoverlife · 04/01/2008 21:17

We had this queation in the middle of a supermarket as there was a very pregnant lady in front of us.
About the only time I really, really wished the ground would swallow us up. You could sense the ears straining to catch my reply, and a few obvious stares, some were sympathetic but others were just enjoying themselves.
I think the answer went something like 'When mMummy and Daddy have those special cuddles when you arn't allowed in the bedroom, that is when a baby can start' which was immediatly followed by 'Are you going to have a baby then, cause you had a special cuddle yesterday'.

Hulababy · 04/01/2008 21:18

I did't like Mummy Laid An Egg. I have a copy here but not used it. I prefer a book called Made With Love, also aimed at younger children. It has some simple text at the top of the page and goes into a bit more detail in smaller writing later on the page.

DD is 5y8m and she knows wall about how babies get out of mummy's tummy - both the normal route and by c section. She has even sen births on those Discovery Health programme and saw a lamb being born at a local farm too.

However all she knows about how it all starts is that mummy has an egg and daddy has a seed. And when the two mix togteher they start to make a baby. She has then seen pictures of baby growing inside, etc.

She hasn't asked for more details yet.

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