Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

stupid question I know but should a 12month old baby sleep through all night [blush]

83 replies

MUMOFDJandP · 30/12/2007 22:50

my ds2 doesnt and I worry he needs the feeds in the night (min up X 2 max X 3)

I am sure his weight is normal and that probably he is just snacking on me as a habit now

Is it kinder to end this snacking now and let him learn to sleep all night or will he stop himself as I dont want to be feeding him / settling him for years if atall possible.......

how is best to do this do you think?

gentle advice please xx

thanks

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
jorange5 · 31/12/2007 09:20

We stopped the night feeds at 10 months. I stuck earplugs in and slept in the spare room and DP was left to comfort her. He just did what he could to get her back to sleep when she woke: rocking, cuddling etc. It took 3 nights and not too much crying.

AbbeyA · 31/12/2007 09:37

My 3 DSs didn't sleep through until they were 2 yrs. The didn't need food in the night-it was just a comfort thing. I would pop in speak to them calmly (no lights switched on), offer water and they were straight back to sleep. I couldn't have left them to cry.

Unfitmother · 31/12/2007 09:53

You must be knackered!

Get DH to get up and settle him for a few nights!

Original poster
MUMOFDJandP · 31/12/2007 14:33

update - baby woke at 2.30 cried on and off for half an hour hubby managed to settle him over without mega horrendous crying so I didnt see baby from 9pm ish too 6.30am........

OP posts:
KITTYmaspudding · 31/12/2007 15:04

Good, news let's hope it gets easier and easier.

jorange5 · 31/12/2007 18:55

Keep us posted!

whomovedmychocolate · 31/12/2007 18:56

DD is fourteen months. Goes to sleep at 7, is up at 4 and hungry for BM, then goes back down till 6ish. They are all different. If you are okay with things, why change them?

Original poster
MUMOFDJandP · 01/01/2008 10:46

HI last nights update.....

P slept from 9 till one ish then cried but self settled after a few mins and woke up at 550am xx

so i am pretty pleased....

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 01/01/2008 11:00

It sounds like the worst is behind you. Well done mumofdjandp, dh, and ds2

Original poster
MUMOFDJandP · 01/01/2008 11:24

thanks xx I do hope so although I was a bit cross/upset with DH as I slept as far away as poss so I wouldnt hear ds2 he said he would def comfort ds2 and not let him cry longer than a few mins but he let him cry for more than we agreed without going in so I fell he changed the agreed goal posts

OP posts:
jorange5 · 01/01/2008 11:44

Sometimes it is better to use your judgement rather than set time guides though. I'm sure he would have gone to him if he thought the crying had gone out of control.

Original poster
MUMOFDJandP · 01/01/2008 14:42

Yeah I think youre right

its just as I am leaving/trusting it to him (my umbilical cord seems still very much attached to the point of being silly )I was a bit miffed when he didnt do what we had preagreed.... such an emotive issue isnt it!

OP posts:
tassisssss · 01/01/2008 14:53

hello there!

no real advice, just wanted to send my love and sympathy as this sounds exhausting. i'm rubbish at leaving my 2 to cry, but friends of mine who have have generally found they can crack the sleep thing in a matter of days. however, i so agree with you that you have to be emotionally up for this.

(i owe you an email to say a HUGE thank you for the parcel that my WIL delivered. the game's a HUGE hit and the skates are away in the cupboard for a sunny day! Ds will love them. thanks too for the biscs, you're an angel)

really hope you get this sleep thing cracked very soon.
xxxx

Original poster
MUMOFDJandP · 01/01/2008 15:06

aw thanks tassis!

xx hugs to you and yours and happy new year honey!

OP posts:
Original poster
MUMOFDJandP · 02/01/2008 15:03

update - baby slept through last night nine ish till six!

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 02/01/2008 17:24

Well done! Enjoy your sleep

Original poster
MUMOFDJandP · 02/01/2008 17:36

thansk will see how tonight goes but I must say from being a three times a night sometimes more sometimes less fellow he is doing really rather well isnt he

OP posts:
trixymalixmasy · 02/01/2008 17:54

I'm watching this with interest.

My DS is 11months and I go back to work at the end of this month so we are trying some sleep training.

He slept through the night before last so he is obviously doesn't need to be fed at night.

So last night DH got up instead of me. At 12 he settled back to sleep really quickly. He woke again at about 4ish and Dh was up until nearly 6 settling him back to sleep.

I'm hoping it won't be so bad tonight!!

lenaschildminding · 02/01/2008 18:00

I've been really lucky with mine, DD1 was 12 weeks and slept through, DS2 was 8 weeks and DD, bless her cotton socks, was 2 wekks!

My SIL has never had a full nights sleep, her DD is 4!!!!

A friends DD doesn't sleep through either, she's 2.

All little darlings are different, throw away the rule books and go with the flow!

Original poster
MUMOFDJandP · 02/01/2008 18:27

well i will keep you all posted!

Its wierd how variable kids can be eh??!!

OP posts:
CoteDAzur · 02/01/2008 21:45

lena - It must be great to "go with the flow" when your kids sleep through the night on their own at a couple of weeks like yours. The rest of us have to teach our kids to sleep through the night. Like OP just did.

lenaschildminding · 03/01/2008 13:44

What I mean by "go with the flow" is try not to compare your little darlings with the next persons, I admit, I have been very fortunate with mine being great sleepers, but I have family and friends at the opposite end of the spectrum and I know how it affects them, having to live with sleep deprevation.

I just think trying to follow 'rule books' or have others telling you what to do can add pressure to an already stressful situation.

The original question was "should a 12month old baby sleep through all night".

The answer to I gave to that was throw away the rule book and go with the flow.

In other words... every child is different, what works for one may or may not work for another.

I hope that makes sense.

leapinglemur · 03/01/2008 16:53

My DD will be 3 years old in 3 months time, I'd love her to sleep through the night. She has slept through about 10 times in her life. Even sleep school (3 day/night residential) couldn't help. She lives off 8 hours sleep a night, no nap.

CoteDAzur · 03/01/2008 16:59

Well, the obvious answer is "Yes, he should". And would you believe, the same methods work for the majority of kids.

Why "go with the flow", when "the flow" is so painful and there is a way out to dry land?

PhDiva · 03/01/2008 21:35

Well I'm not too sure why 'just comfort' is seen as such a bad thing. Why is the need for comfort not taken seriously? Obviously Mums needing their sleep is a separate issue, but come on guys, 'comfort' is what we are to our children. I remember as a small child desperately wanting my mum who wasn't there, and it is a horrible, horrible feeling. So if my baby is crying 'just for comfort' in the night (and he does every couple of hours), then I am afraid I shall comfort him (whilst gazing enviously at all the Mums sleeping through the night!