Help please DS has turned into a monster and i want to find away to stop him asap

[bogie]

Ds will be 2 on new years day and he is getting really nasty all the time. We went to see my nephew(whos 3)over christmas and after 5 mins we had to leave because ds was punching him scratching him it took 2 of us to pull ds of him. I was so embarrassed. He has been like this for a few weeks now he's smacking me dp his grandma and grandad.
We have tried the naughty step and he bangs his head against the walls or the stairs, if we raise our voice he shouts back then smacks us.
Any ideas?

repetiton repetition repetition of your action to his behaviour, ie if its 10 times he has to go to the step then you have to try and follow that thru til he gets worn out and eventually caves - might be a week of it , maybe more,
he hasto learn the boundaries.
also he is trying in his wee head to negotiate his new feelngs/perceptions so look at it and situations he is in from his 2t high perspective, is he happy when he rrives, give him a chance to voice his opinion and then allow him to adjust, maybe too many people mean he isnt no 1, and he has a problem with that. its early days for his new found toddlerhood , its trying, but setting up some ground rules now with his should help you longterm.
he needs to know his boundaries, very hard for him to understand, but do it positively, ie "you re a great boy playing with X" and not "thats not nice doing that to X", i know its contradictuarty but he wants your praise and love and attention.

Wher to start?

He is a baby - communication and understanding skills still limited.

He needs consistancy - decide what the rules are and stick to them.

Routine.

Enough sleep - at least 12 hours in every 24, preferably 14.

Review his diet - in particular check for additives, colourings, flavourings and artificial sweetners.

He sounds overtired, overexcited, and as if he is getting mixed messages from disrupted routine and too many people involved in his care ATM.

Does any of that ring a bell?

Does sound a bit over the top for a 2 year old.

When my boys were 2, I found that with the elder distraction worked very well. The youngest was a little harder and used to have terrible tantrums, I just used to say No. - over and over again.

Could you look at his diet, mine are very suspectible to sugar and additives. Also stacks loads of exercise, he could just be hemmed and needs an opportunity to run around.

Also if we are going somewhere where I expect the boys to amuse themselves while we do adult stuff then i make sure they get a big dollop of parenting first and ideally some exercise.

He sounds as if he is desperately looking for boundaries and needing to know that you are still in control (otherwise he will feel unsafe and scared). He needs lots of praise for good behaviour.

Shouting and sanctions obviously are not working for your ds. Try something based on praise rather than sanctions. Reward him when he does something right, give him stars, lots of praise. Ignore 'bad' behaviour when possible and praise the good.

Little boys are like puppies. They need strict routine, lots of exercise, regular meals and sleep, and simple, easy to understand rules, and not too much excitement.

Thankyou for all your replies.
His diet is good usally (over xmas everyone has been shoveling sweets down him ) He does need to sleep more he wake 4 times a night and hardly sleeps in the day.
I will try the things that you said

Oddly enough - an earlier bedtime can help to improve sleep. Overtired plus overstimulated/overexcited means lots of waking in the night and poor sleep quality.

Mine had their bath at 6pm, supper and in bed by 6.30 at that age. (and an afternoon nap). Loads of outdoor play and miles and miles of walking

Have to go shopping now as they have eaten ALL the food (large man sized teenagers now!)