Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

I would really like very short answers to this please.

59 replies

NAB3hundredbaubles · 23/12/2007 17:40

When your son is back chatting/being rude/refusing to do what one has asked. do you

  1. Ignore even though this means you don't get what you want done.
  2. Physically make him - by picking up etc, not by smacking.
  3. Keep repeating until they eventually do do as you have asked.
OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
TenLordsaLapin · 23/12/2007 17:41

what age?

Original poster
NAB3hundredbaubles · 23/12/2007 17:41

6 and 9 months.

OP posts:
FoghornLeghorn · 23/12/2007 17:42

Oh I'd love to know the answer to this too for a 3year old DD

paulaplumpbottom · 23/12/2007 17:42

3 my voice also tends to get louder with each repition

TenLordsaLapin · 23/12/2007 17:43

Mine is 21 months and I tend to go with 3 until I get fed up and then 2. 1 doesn't work for us (my DS might be too young?)

PrincessSnowLife · 23/12/2007 17:44

3, and with threats of taking away treats like tv if no compliance

at the mo, the threat of texting santa to cancel xmas is working a lot for me (I am a bit evil )

Original poster
NAB3hundredbaubles · 23/12/2007 17:45

They both need to earn 5 marbles by bed time tmw or Santa isn't coming.

OP posts:
joedar · 23/12/2007 17:45

6 and 9 months??? Is this a joke??

Myrrhcy · 23/12/2007 17:46

NAB means 6yrs and 9 months (6.9)

FairyTaleOfNewYork · 23/12/2007 17:46

3

sometimes 2.

wotz · 23/12/2007 17:48

I may be very old an have forgotton what babies are like, but 6 and 9 months - get real, they are babies still.

You sound very harsh

joedar · 23/12/2007 17:49

Sorry misunderstood 6 year old anwser 3.

9 month none of the above (Too young)

wotz · 23/12/2007 17:49

Not babies, sorry
but still only little, trying to find boundaries

try this book

nannynick · 23/12/2007 17:50

3 a couple of times, then 2

joedar · 23/12/2007 17:50

Again misunderstood ha ha!

gonaenodaethat · 23/12/2007 17:52

3
sometimes 2 eg if they won't get their coat on and we're late for school.

quickdrawmcgraw · 23/12/2007 17:54

either
a) think of a quick punishment. ie if you don't put on your shoes/finish your breakfast/brush your teeth you'll have to listen to me singing very loudly all the way to X in the car.

or

if you don't do x by the time I count to 10 I'll kiss you full on the lips next time I'm saying good bye to you in front of your friends.

or

b) make it a race 'last one into the car with everything done smells of fish' you're also part of the race and the one that always loses once you see them trying.

or

c) offer to do one thing if they agree to do another. You'll help with taking off their jumper if they'll help to put their laundry away (or something like that)

gonaenodaethat · 23/12/2007 17:54

Sometimes 1 which is why I suspect I keep needing to do 2 and 3.

wotz · 23/12/2007 17:55

Consequence - "Put your coat on"

"No"

Repeat a few times - if still no then

"Ok then freeze" (note to teacher)

Next day

"Put your coat on"

"OK"

LadyMuck · 23/12/2007 17:59

Usually count to 3 - My 6 and 4 yo know that there will be an immovable unpleasant consequence on 3. I can also "count" just by putting my fingers up - handy for when you're needing to warn them in public. Read a book called 123 Magic - its on Amazon I think.

Rudeness however I tend to deal with more immediately - partly because I think that they're not always great at realising the difference between what they can get away with amongst their peers and how they need to behave with adults. My most repeated phrase is probably "tone of voice".

Original poster
NAB3hundredbaubles · 23/12/2007 18:03

at those who thought I meant babies of 6 months and 9 months!

Not sure how I could have children that close together!!!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
NAB3hundredbaubles · 23/12/2007 18:04

Though obviously very proud that you thought my 6 month old could back chat me!!

OP posts:
ChristmasSendsMePsycho · 23/12/2007 18:33

when my son of 7 acts like this, I repeat myself 3 times, and then start counting (loudly).

he normally does as asked before I get to 3......and only because he knows that if I DO get to 3 there is some type of punishment. not sure what anymore as have not reached 3 since he was about 5, but the punishment then was going behind the stairgate until I camled down and he said sorry (normally about a minute as he was quick with the sorry.) he learnt well tho, as like I say, not had to go betond 2 anymore.

If out I don't even count out loud anymore. I hold up fingers and that works wonders!!!

wonder if and when I will ever have to start thinking of a new punishment......maybe now will be PJ's on whatever the time of day. early bedtime is his biggest fear in the world

mwahahaha

lljkk · 23/12/2007 19:29

1 (quite often) or 3 (try again 2 minutes later, strategy) or resort to threats/emotional blackmail/doing it myself.

emmaagain · 23/12/2007 19:59

stop asking them to do things they don't want to do.

  1. suggest things with actions not words (e.g. put the coat ready to put on if they want it). It's like those Calvin and Hobbes cartoons where what the parents say is just blah blah blah.

  2. acknowlege that you might be wrong (maybe they just aren't cold)

  3. be ready to save the day later (by tucking the coat in your rucksack).

  4. think of something even better for everyone, the more playful the better

No need for conflict :-)