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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

my baby doesn't sleep in day

17 replies

barneybear · 08/12/2007 18:20

i'm desperate for help.

i feel lucky that my 2 month old baby has a great night time routine...bath, feed, down to sleep by 7.30pm (7.45 latest), then dream feed at 11pm; wakes between 3-4 for feed, then sleeps til 7-8am...

BUT he doesn't sleep in the day unless he's out in a pram or the car.

the only nap he has is after the 3/3.30pm feed, but he basically sleeps for an hour before the 6.30pm bath/feed routine...by then he's in a deep sleep like he's down for the night and i have to wake him up for his bath etc...

i can sometimes get him down for an hour in the morning but only if i rock him/sooth him.

i'm loath to leave him just to cry - i thinkk he's too young for that and he gets himself in such a paddy, it's heartbreaking just to hear for a few minutes.

can anyone help??

i just think if this goes on much longer he'll never know a day-time routine.

many many thanks x

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MrsBadger · 08/12/2007 18:55

Why do you think he should be sleeping during the day? Ddoes he seem tired?
If he's getting so much at night that he doesn't seem bothered during the day why on earth try to force him to sleep?

If you really want to have one you can still have a routine not involving strict nap times.

And remember he is still teeny tiny - you're not 'making a rod for your own back' 'spoiling him', 'setting up bad habits' etc etc, whatever the gurus say - you're responding to his needs...

Yorkshabird21x · 08/12/2007 19:34

hiya, my dd is 16weeks and she has never slept through the day. she now sleeps 7pm-7am. dont worry about it. if he was tired he will sleep x

Original poster

barneybear · 09/12/2007 10:29

the thing is, he shows lots of signs of being tired..so he obviously needs to sleep...i'm not that worried about the routine side of things yet..it's more that my little boy obviously needs sleep but is desperately fighting it all day..

so any advice from anyone in how i can get him to sleep gratefully received.

he is swaddled, he has a dummy when needed (doesn't always want it) but i still have to rock him to sleep and that's not always enough.

thanks

OP posts:

tori32 · 09/12/2007 10:35

Lots of people will disagree with me, but with dd I put her upstairs in her cot at set times, blackout blind, swaddled and dummy. This worked well after about a week. Once she got into the routine she would only fall asleep at those times regardless of where she was.

morningpaper · 09/12/2007 10:37

You are right not to leave her to cry

Mine didn't sleep during the day at about this age

However, if she will sleep in the pram, I would take her out after lunch for a walk for an hour or so

Or a drive - take a paper or book and a flask of tea, and when she is asleep, pull over and read for a while

It will be good for both of you!

vitomum · 09/12/2007 10:38

i thinkit is only really a problem if he is getting upset / grumpy in the day due to being over tired - but you seem to be suggesting that that is the case, am i right?

maybe you could let him sleep on after his 3.30 feed instead of waking him for his bath? he could always have a bath in the morning. sounds like his natural bidy clock is telling him that late afternoon and night time is the time to sleep which really is a Good Thing so tbh i wouldn't try and fiddle with that too much.

BeeWiseMen · 09/12/2007 10:38

my dd is nearly 6 months and has been been avoiding daytime naps since she was about 2mo. Some days she'll have realy long naps but mostly not. I've decided not to worry about it as she is still sleeping well at night. It is hard though when they're grumpy because they're tired but they absolutely will not have a nap. The best method I've found is once DD looks in need of a nap, I lay her down on the sofa, propped up with cushions, blanket over her and a particular cuddly toy. Then I go and sit nearby but out of her sight. Sometimes she drops off after a few minutes, sometimes not. Mostly she's awake again 30-45 minutes later but at least she's not totally exhausted any more.

I think the lack of naps is harder on me than on her cos I can't get anything done.

I still can't leave her to cry.

vitomum · 09/12/2007 10:39

body clcok obviously

morningpaper · 09/12/2007 10:39

Of course you can't leave her to cry, your her mother, your job is to look after her

Why would you want to? If your husband or friends started crying would you walk out the room and shut the door on them?!?!

morningpaper · 09/12/2007 10:40

Re-read your post and you said that you can get him to sleep in the morning if you rock him - that is quite normal for young babies to need rocking to sleep. Why do you not want to do that?

lulalullabye · 09/12/2007 10:46

my dd only has maybe 1 sleep a day, arounf 1 ish, for about an hour max. dd1 was the same and you just learn to live with it. I find I just need to keep moving her around the house in different seats, just to keep her occupied.

They do change. Dd2 did start to have proper sleeps but can't remember at what age.

mollymawk · 09/12/2007 10:49

Barneybear, it really really doesn't matter if he needs help to go to sleep at this age. We are all brainwashed into thinking that if they don't go to sleep independently at the age of one week we will be rocking them to sleep at the age of 10 (etc). But it really isn't true. Babies change a lot as they grow up. I would say, if you think he seems tired then help him to go to sleep however he needs you to at this stage of his life (car, pram, rocking etc).

blueshoes · 09/12/2007 10:53

Hi barney, if your ds is showing signs of tiredness, and you say he can be rocked wheeled to sleep in a buggy or car, then why not do that? I assume he is your first so you don't have to worry about other siblings.

2 months is still very little. A better sleep pattern for them is to have more naps during the day (to reduce grumpiness) and to have less sleep at night - I find for my 2 dcs that the total hours of sleep they have during 24 hours is about constant (15 hours, I believe at that stage) it is just a question of how they split it up over that time.

My little ones could never fall asleep on their own without help. So when I saw signs of tiredness, off we went in the buggy. After a while, I knew when they got tired and could schedule to do things around that time eg go to the shops in buggy at naptime.

I never saw the need the teach them to fall asleep on their own. Dd (4) sleeps great now - she dropped her daytime naps around 3+ years.

MrsBadger · 09/12/2007 10:55

oh yes, the afternoon pramwalk is a brilliant concept.
I walked miles with dd - she got an hour's kip and I lost a stone...

it's not forever

Yorkshabird21x · 09/12/2007 16:19

what about investing in one of those baby swings. more often than not, dd will fall asleep in hers x

Original poster

barneybear · 09/12/2007 22:02

thanks everyone for your commments and your experience, it really has made me feel better.

i generally go out everyday and he does sleep in the pram easily...he is my first and despite being reasonably intelligent and trusting my instinct i must confess to being slightly 'brainwashed' (as someone put it!) at the books out there...

i really thoguht i was creating a rod for my own back, for example because i was rocking him to sleep etc.

so thanks, and also to those who said that it can all change as they get older too.

i'm good at spotting the signs now so at least i will try to let him have a nap if he needs it WHEREVER it is...pram, sofa etc!!

thanks a million x

OP posts:

tryingtoleave · 10/12/2007 11:28

I went through a stage where I had to go out all the time because I couldn't get ds to sleep at home (except for that morning nap - which always seemed the easiest). I can't remember when exactly it ended but I know that by 6 months he was doing 2 naps a day ( a total of about 3 hours sleep) in his cot. You just need to wait this stage out.

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