13 week old feeding constantly throughout the night, exhausting! Any advice?

[jellyrolly]

DS2 slept brilliantly for first 8 weeks - up to 6 hours at a time but has got worse and worse. He's had a cold a mild exzema on his head but nothing drastic. Last couple of nights only 20 mins between some feeds. He's a big boy, already over a stone. Also fills up during the day. I'm running out of energy with 22mnth old too, last night ended up banging my head against the wall, literally! DS1 has also been ill and going through clingy 'mummy doooooo it!' phase. I would prefer to carry on BF DS2 exclusively, any advice?

Sounds like your ds2 needs a dummy.

Is he sleeping in with you jellyrolly?

Do you co-sleep? Co-sleeping will help a lot.

But circa 12 weeks is a biiig growth spurt time, so it will get better really fast.

Eat lots. Chocolate and flapjacks and big stodgy things.

He's in the same room in a Moses basket.

Sorry, what is co-sleeping? In the same bed? I'm clinging on to the hope that it's a growth spurt. I'm having a shrinking spurt at the same time.

He may be getting a tiny bit big for his Moses basket.

Also agree with CoteDAzur - it's a personal choice of course but that works for us.

Can you sleep with him? That way you can doze as you feed.

Could well be a growth spurt. I found that with dd I was sometimes continually feeding for a couple of days and then it would settle again. iirc 13 weeks is a classic age for this to happen. Given that he's been a buit unwell it could well be comfort too.

How do you feel about a dummy? I was fairly adament at first that dd would never have one but in the end I caved in and I'm glad I did in hindsight. She needed to suck for comfort so it helped to space out feeds. Don't worry about depriving him of milk if you use a dummy - if he wants to suck because he is hungry rather than just for comfort then he will let you know!

DD was a big, hungry baby too - she put on nearly a pound a week for a couple of weeks.

Well done on persevering

Not sure if the caffeine in chocolate (which will pass to baby through breast milk) will help your baby boy to sleep better

I agree that he is about to outgrow the Moses basket, I'm not sure what to do about that. I'm reluctant to sleep with him for fear of me or DH squashing him. (Of course reality is that it would likely be the other way around!) Dummy is a good tip, thank you.

I found co sleeping, i.e. in the same bed on my side of the bed, with access to the breast throughout the night resulted in lots and lots of lovely sleep for me. I stopped noticing when she fed in the night, and even if I did, rarely enough to actually wake me properly.
Also, I would say a dummy helps a lot.

Thanks for the advice. I can hear him crying now with poor DH trying to settle him to no avail, why don't men have boobs? (I know, I know, some do...) Will try a dummy and may even be brave enough to sleep together.

It is most likely a growth spurt. DD had an enormous growth spurt at this age, again at 16, 19 and 25 weeks. She was/is a big baby too and always hovers on or above the 99th centile. I exclusively bf her until 27 weeks and still feed on demand now at 30 weeks with the odd finger food chucked in for good measure. She wakes 2 hourly for milk at night. The only way I have survived this is to co-sleep. If you do consider doing this, read up on the safe way to do it. I have had dd in bed with me from very tiny and am confident and happy with this for us.

Very, very well done to you for persevering. You may find a dummy very useful indeed. I never bothered with one as dd thought sucking anything other than my nipple was an aberration.

I go with what CloudAtlas described. Don't let DH sleep next to your DS though, they don't have the same instincts.

Safe co-sleeping.

Re the Moses basket; if you are worried about the transition to the "big cot" (assuming you have space for it in your room)
try putting the basket inside the cot for a night or 2.

We did this with dd1 as the cot seemed so big! However both dd1 and dd2 have transferred very easily into the cot. dd2 was around 12 weeks (she is 16 weeks now) and she immediately stretched her arms out properly which she couldn't do in the basket.

She prefers me to a dummy but as deckthehalls says he will soon let you know if he wants the real thing rather than a dummy. At 16 weeks we are now waking up twice for a feed and maybe a couple more times for a dummy. Of course dh can be kicked out of bed to replace the dummy

I've just been in and looked at him squashed into the Moses basket, big cot tomorrow - that's a really good tip. Thank you for the co-sleeping tips, I'm just too scared to do it (I think lack of sleep feeds paranoia) I'd end up with even less sleep than now being such a worrier. DH 15 stone rugby man so definitely not allowed any where near DS2!

I am co-sleeping with ds2 and it is much less tiring that actually getting up out of bed which I did with ds1. Dh is also 16 stone so what I have done is put the cot up against my side of the bed. Ds2 then starts the night in his cot and I bring him into bed with me at the first feed where he then stays for the rest of the night. If there is a gap between the cot and the bed, you can stuff it with a towel to make sure he doesn't roll down. I sleep very lightly so know there is no risk of me squashing ds2 and I am effectively preventing dh from doing so. Good luck whatever you do...

jellyrolly it sounds like I feel the same as you about co-sleeping. I know it makes sense and I know all the evidence says it is safe. But like you I can't relax. We have done it a few times and even after mini lolly is safely back in the cot I find myself waking up in a state patting at the bed and trying to "find" her because it is on my mind that she is still in with us and something has happened.

I wish I could relax and try again but that's the way it is for me. We are all different I guess.

Dd2 had a little smile when she stretched her arms out widthways in the cot as if to say "ooh lovely lots of room now!"