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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

suddenly my 3 yr old won't stay in bed at bedtime and is having a major meltdown each night. advice please

11 replies

wheelsonthebus · 04/12/2007 14:50

She was fine til she turned 3. We would read her a couple of stories and then in bed, with the light out, I would give her a cuddle and tell her another story and she would be fine. Now - the routine is the same - she is up and about, screaming for me or dp, and it goes on for 2/3 hours sometimes, with one or other of us putting her back into bed each time. she screams and screams. we have no idea what to do, and as full time working parents, are just shattered by these night time experiences. any advice gratefully received.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Gemtubbs · 04/12/2007 14:56

www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/1190081/Trail/searchtext%3ECHILDRENS+BEDDING.htm

Hello! Tried to do a link there. I thought these tents seemed like a good idea to help kids want to stay in bed. May be you could do a home made one? Maybe it's worth a try. Love Gem.xXx

Original poster

wheelsonthebus · 04/12/2007 15:17

how sweet they are! tks. she loves Dora

OP posts:

Smee · 04/12/2007 19:59

We had this and it totally wound me up. In the end I met him half way and said I'd sit outside his room (as it was me he wanted), but only if he let me read (he had to stay quiet too). If he got out of bed or started to talk, I just calmly got up and left. Fortunately he wanted to see me so much that he fell for it, then soon got bored and dozed off. After about a week of success, I started saying I'll come and sit there in a bit, and nipped off to do a few things. 99% of the time now he's asleep by the time I remember to return.

Othersideofthechannel · 04/12/2007 20:00

DS was very easy to put to bed until he was 3 and he then started getting scared of going to bed and would come and find us constantly. No screaming but hours of coming and going from his room.
We sorted it out with a nightlight (he was previously sleeping in the dark), door ajar and a sticker chart. Sticker in the morning for staying in bed the previous evening. It took a few months but now he is happy going to bed again.

mumof2pixies · 04/12/2007 20:47

My ds was also fine until about a month ago...hes 3 this month! It must be an age thing! He started to stall me leaving the room at bedtime by asking for another drink...something I could hardly deny him! And then another cuddle and kiss etc! When I would finally manage to leave the room I would be up and down the stairs all night as he would call for me...again another drink or a to be tucked in. This was a pain, but then it got worse as he started waking in the night. He would be screaming, so at first we thought it was nightmares, but now I think he does it because I'll come. It didnt help when he had a bad cough as that woke him anyway. When he started waking in the night, the evening wake ups became more severe...instead of just calling out for me, he would scream like he was panicking...it was so stressful! I was going to try doing the sticker chart thing, but first adjusted his routine, and this seemed to do the trick. We now add an extra story on to the end which I read him in bed...(we normally read his story whilst hes having his milk after bath before his nappy and pjs are put on) in the hope that he might fall asleep! He never has fallen asleep, but I think it was that extra bit of positive attention he needed. Since Ive been doing that he hasnt stalled me leaving him at all...which is a major step forward! I also started to say that this was his last chance for a drink till morning, I know that sounds really harsh and I hate saying it, its just that when he used to shout for a drink, he would only take a sip of water so I knew he wasnt really thirsty! Up until last night the evening wakings had stopped. Dont know why it didnt work last night, but so far so good tonight! The night wakings have also stopped. I must say I was getting really stressed out about it as I couldnt understand why he needed me so much at night...i kept wondering what I had done wrong...was I not giving him enough attention during the day?! Its reassuring that other children his age also do it.

Othersideofthechannel · 05/12/2007 06:25

Yes, DS started having a cup of water on his bedside table at this age because of the constant calls for drinks. Also a box of tissues for blowing his nose.

turkEgyptlets · 05/12/2007 07:13

can i join the club?!! must say that dora tent looks like it might do the trick, but we are in singapore and can't get it here..at least not from argos!

i've resorted to sitting outside the door too. trouble is she keeps coming out for things that i cannot deny - like needing a wee. and DOES do a wee. i can walk off if she comes out, but she shouts and usually wakes dd2 who is 8 months, in next room. then i am in to her - which winds dd1 up and she follows and causes more agro which makes it impossible to deal with EITHER of them.

good luck - i am reading this thread with great interest!

mumof2pixies · 05/12/2007 09:04

Also meant to mention that I gave my ds a spoonful of vitamins at bedtime and told him it was 'sleepy potion', and that as soon as he closed his eyes he would feel sleepy and fall asleep! This seems to have helped to stop the early evening wakings, and he also tells me to give it to his sister when she wont settle so he obviously believes it works! Last night he woke at 9.30pm but that was it. Good luck to everyone...I think its just finding something that works for your child...that or phenergen!!

cazzybabs · 05/12/2007 09:08

Yes - we are going through this with dd2. She ahs also started to wake up and get out of bed about 3am....which is great as I am about to have another baby any day now!

chipkid · 05/12/2007 09:11

my dd who has just turned three has also taken to nocturnal wandering! however she wanders into the room of her big brother rather than downstairs. The other night when I went in I found her dressed head to foot in her brother's spiderman costume (including mask) and the pair of them laughing like drains.
I have stopped putting her down for an afternoon nap and this seems to have helped as she falls to sleep very quickly.

Mungarra · 05/12/2007 11:33

My DS1 used to take over an hour to settle when he was about 3.5. He wanted the light on in the hall and the door open and would want us to hang around. He stayed on his bed, but would mess about for ages before he went to sleep.

The thing, which changed him was moving DS2 into his room when DS2 moved into a bed. He was then fine about having the light out and the door closed (so DS2 would go to sleep).

I think he was just lonely and hated being in a room by himself.

Obviously, if you don't have any other children, then room-sharing isn't an option, but I think kids seem to need more company when they're 3.

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