6 month old cries all the time - help!

[mrsshackleton]

Hi my 6 month dd2 is making all our lives a misery (and hate to think how she feels!) She basically wakes between 5am and 6am won't settle back after a feed and then cries all day - brief am and lunchtime naps (rarely longer than an hour) and then catnaps in the buggy in the afternoon. She hates being put down and screams to be picked up. She is on solids as of about 4 1/2 months which she gobbles up but she is a bit constipated, so that might be part of it, plus a lot of teeth are showing through the gums so I guess thats bothering her too, though no teething remedies seem to help. I feel flummoxed because dd1 was very settled in comparison and at this age was happy to roll and kick on the floor for short stints at least and slept much better at night and in the day. It's making us all so stressed, the yelling goes on all day, my dh gets angry at having to pick her up all the time then I get angry with him for being so grumpy with a baby who can't help herself and dd1 meanwhile is constantly trying to hit her because I think she's so freaked out by non-stop yelling and basically I think if things carry on like this I will have a breakdown. Is it worth getting the doctor to check her out or do we just live with it - and if so for how long? I know newborns are unsettled but thought by six months babies were basically sorted. Obviously I know nothing ..,.

Hello - no advice I'm afraid, but just to say I know what you're going through! My DD2 is 4.5 months and has been like that since about 3 months. In her case I think it is a combination of teething, frustration, digestive troubles (she still possets a lot) and a whole host of ohter little niggles, which means she is only content if someone is holding her - and holding her standing up... if you sit down, she won't have it! If it's any consolation, my DD1 was exactly the same, and as she hit each "milestone" (sitting, crawling, cruising, walking) she got more and more settled and content.

It's bloody miserable, and hard work when they need constant attention, and you think you're losing the plot, but hopefully, in the next few weeks you'll start to see light at the end of the tunnel. Try and get out as much as you can, even if you think you can't face taking your little screamer out in public. I've lost count of the number of times passers-by say "ooh, someone's hungry" to me - I feel like saying back "yes that's right, I'm deliberately starving my baby - I love hearing her scream"

Mrs S - my DD was like this. She's now just turned 1. Some babies just seem to really struggle with this whole being a baby business and make really heavy weather of it. It's not much consolation to you at the moment, but this stage will pass - I promise.

I found that I just had to focus on getting through it. I crammed each day with at least 2 activities, involving as many people as possible. This didn't stop DD crying, but it did give me (and her, sometimes) a focus for the day and a distraction from it. I became - and still am - anal about feeding and sleeping routines because this seemed to help her to feel secure and because it meant I knew there were a few moments when I would get a break.

It can be so miserable, you really have my sympathy. Hopefully some other MNers will come along with other tips to help.

May I ask why you decided to wean at 4 1/2 months? The current guidelines for weaning is 6 months, and this is because a baby's gut is not mature enough to deal with food. As you said she is constipated, her problems may well stem from this.

If you manage to deal with the constipation, if you were me I would go with what dd is asking of you, ie lots of cuddles and contact with you. If she needs reassurance from you, the only way she will feel better is by being close to you.

Hope this helpsxx

Have you tried some tummy massage to help with the constipation? Circular motion in a clockwise direction. Also a baby yoga move which helps is knees into abdomen. Holding both legs at calves move the knees into her abdomen and extend the legs. Repeat a few times. Make sure she is having plenty of fluids.

Thanks for your support, I didn't want to wean early but was advised to by paeds as she is a big baby and wasn't going any length of time between big feeds plus other stuff I won't go into - basically her digestion was dodgy on milk alone (she's still entirely bf) and it's dodgy with solids in a different kind of way. Glad to know bodkin that you too have the holding standing up problem, it's so frustrating when you can't even sit for a cup of coffee. I find the biggest problem, however, is I have to deal with dd1 so can't cuddle dd2 all the time much as I'd like to because other children needing feeding, attention etc. I've tried a sling but she doesn't like it at all, needs to be held in arms. I know it will pass just hope it's soon before we all lose the plot!

could the holding stood up thing be reflux?

I am watching this thread with interest as DS2 has been like this almost from birth. He is now 5 months and some days I feel real despair. It is good to have the support of other mums who are going through similar things as everyone I know in rl seem to have content placid los!!!!

What type of sling have you tried? My DS didn;t like the Wilkinet but gets on well in a wrap sling though he hates being put into it.

Hi there had the same problem with DS the best thing I can say is calm her down and put her in the bedroom with the vacum or hairdryer on just while you go down stairs and make yourself a cup of tea. Its obviusly not a long term solution but it should calm her down for a min, the white noise worked brill on our little boy, I even brought a CD with hairdryer music (I know crazy) that never worked it had to be the real hairdryer.

Also could it be she has a food allergy our DS was lactose intollernate but cause he was breastfeed not enough lactose was getting through to give a visable reaction, we only discovered it when he has having more milk based foods. Its also always worth speaking to your health visitor or doctor for any advice

Thanks everyone again - she's been in a baby bjorn and don't think I can bear to buy another sling have spent so much £££ on baby calming stuff that never get used. If it carries on another week I'll take her to the doctor's to get checked out for allergies etc, I've actually on hv's advice given her ibuprofen for teething the past couple of days at naptime and that's helped her nap better in the day and therefore be less cranky. Thank God she's my second and I know this will pass, if she'd been my first I don't think I could have had another

Take her down to a children's osteopath. They aren't just there for birthing problems and glue ear - they can do wonders with this type of thing. My DD was similar (turns out she was lactose intolerent) and the osteo was marvellous - relieved all her digestive pain, diagnosed the problem (GP and health advisor had dismissed this as a possibility), and got her on the right track. Might not work in your case, but you have nothing to lose.

thanks squiffy, I took her to an osteo when she was a newborn and he did bugger all and cost me a fortune, but could be worth another try with another one. Actually she's been a bit better the past couple of days and it's dd1 who's ill and miserable now! Bless em x

If you phone the 'Osteopath Centre for Children' in London they will look up to see if any of their trained people now work in your area. Those guys are the best - they go through a really thorough training...

It's funny you should mention the BabyBjorn sling - my DD2 hates it as well (whereas my DD1 loved it!) I've just invested in a pouch sling, because I think the problem with the Bjorn is all the fuss of strapping her in - she just feels very restricted and prefers being held, facing outwards, with my arm round her tummy. A pouch sling is brill cos you just pop 'em in and off you go, and they can face out, with arms free to slurp on fingers as they please. I got it from www.brightsparkslings.co.uk or if you're handy with a sewing machine, it looks very easy to make and would only cost about a tenner to buy the fleece. This site has good tips about making your own: www.mykarmababy.com/pages/BabySlingPattern.php
(and you could always sell the Bjorn on Ebay - they've got a great resale value)

We've also just been to a cranial osteopath, as sooooo many people have raved about it on here I thought we should try it. We had one session last week which wasn't very good because she was too fractious for him to get much done, but yesterday was really good. I had to feed her while he was doing it (which felt a bit odd ) but she actually fell asleep while I was feeding her and he was holding her head (very unusual for her to just drop off like that) so he managed a good 30 min session. She has been a lot better today and napped really well (3 hours at lunchtime !!! plus a 45 min nap morning and afternoon) So I don't know what the longterm result will be, but so far I am impressed!

Anyway, hope you start to see an improvement soon - keep us posted on how you're getting on

My DS was very much like this, a real hardwork baby. He is now 8.5 months and really become very different in the last few weeks, which I credit to the babywalker a friend lent to me (and yes, I know they can be dangerous, but I watch him like a hawk when he is in it) and the fact that he can now crawl.

He was just so cross and frustrated when put down on floor/playmat and unable to do very much - he wanted to be on the move! When he was 6 months old we went on holiday to Spain for a week and although there were enjoyable times it was basically a nightmare as he teethed 2 teeth in a week and would not be put down on the floor, at all. Also cried for hours and hours, which makes you feel so horrible you almost start to resent baby for not being more like other people's giggling, happy cooing bundles of joy. Or is that just me? Anyway the point I am trying to make is that a big improvement is almost certainly just around the corner.

Hi,
I was wondering if you've had your baby checked for reflux? A couple of things strike me from your posts - the screaming, preferring you to hold her while you stand (classic because reflux babies don't like to be bent over), the digestive problems..

My DD was the exact same but in her case, she vomited so it was easy to diagnose. However "silent" reflux can be worse because it's not diagnosed as easily.

Until we got her sorted out on drugs (at about 6 mths), we had a terrible time too. Thankfully it was my first baby so I didn't have to do anything else. She cried lots, couldn't be put down, etc etc. I literally walked the streets with her in her buggy as it was comforting for her in some way.

I wish you luck finding out the cause.

Just to add to my post.. GPs dismiss reflux as something babies grow out of. In some ways that is true. However my DD grew out of it at 15 mths and as far as I'm concerned, that's just too long to leave a baby suffering unnecessarily.

sounds like you may have a 'high needs' baby? Didn't know what one was until DD1 was born. Some babies just need a lot of holding, have sensitive natures and sometimes even sensitive tummies to go with it. I found The Fussy Baby book by Dr Sears really helped because it made me realise that she's normal, just a different sort of normal. The book recommends just to go with what your baby needs ie lots of holding and sling wearing which is very physically tiring but does seem to work for us. It is a phase and they will all grow out of it when they are ready. DD is now 5 months and is very very gradually improving but still in my arms on the move many hours each day. Tough on us parents and tough on them when they are unhappy.

I have to carry dd all day just about. she's sweet and smiley but if i didn't carry her she'd cry all day. i do think finding the right sling for you could be a godsend. we've got a kari me and a babyhawk (and a couple of others - needs must) and they're just fab.

ps cranial osteopaths are supposed to be great for this sort of stiff - might be worth a go?

Hello!!! My 2 year old used to cry all the time didn't sleep either and night sweats -still dose really, and it's all down to food allergy - cow's milk, soya, wheat, barley, Gluten, oats the list goes on and on. We done a food diary for 10 wks and then went to see our GP and then on Great Ormand Street etc

Might be!!!

Just to let you know that I'm going through the same thing with my 6 month old. He is only ever happy when being carried aroung (can't stand still or sit with him). It's a nightmare at the moment but people have been so supportive on mumsnet that I'm feeling a bit more positive. I hope things have improved for you, if not- you're not alone! x

Has she always been like this, or just recently?

If always then I would bet that she has either silent reflux or milk intolerance (or both). GPs are notoriously crap at diagnosing this (mine said that because dd was gaining weight, she had neither, when in fact she had both).

You can test the milk intolerance by giving up all dairy yourself, and ensuring that you don't give her any solids containing dairy. It will 2 weeks before you can determine whether this is likely to be the problem.

My health visitor has dismissed both of these with my little boy as he sleeps well at night (apparently if he were truely in pain it would disrupt his nights as well as his days.) And also as he is gaining weight well. However, he does spit up a lot still. Do you think it's a possibility for my ds too?