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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Can you tell me whether your 10 yr old child (year 6) has the following...

76 replies

emsiewill · 21/11/2007 11:41

a mobile phone
pierced ear(s)
TV in their room

As dd1 tells me that all her friends have all of them, or will be getting them for Christmas, and she feels "left out" and "stupid" because she has none of them.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ShrinkingViolet · 21/11/2007 11:48

DD1 got a mobile for the Christmas in Year 6, only becasue I wanted her to have one for secondary school (as she'd be travelling there and back by train) and I wanted the novelty of it worn off by when she started. The summer holidays between primary nad secondary are a popular time to get ears pierced round here as most primary school ban earrings, but the secondary only asks that they are removed for PE, and you need the six weeks holidays to let the ears heal up before taking the earrings out.
TV in bedroom is a total no-no here though .

admylin · 21/11/2007 11:50

My niece tried that trick last year! I must admit alot of her friends had all of those things - but my sister stuck to her guns and didn't give in. This year she got a mobile phone for her birthday but it turned out she wasn't mature enough to use her credit wisely and she eventually shoved it in a drawer and lost interest because she had no credit or couldn't find her charger etc.

happystory · 21/11/2007 11:50

My dd at that age just had an actual TV but not hooked up to cable or aerial so she could only watch DVDs.

No phone till secondary school (which has since been indispensable)

Pierced ears at 11 but mainly cos she was going to be my brother's bridesmaid and we'd said when at secondary school and this was a tiny bit earlier...so she could wear pretty studs. Re: ears, would say about 25% of girls had them pierced by year 6

Sonnet · 21/11/2007 11:51

2 out of 3:
DD1 (11) has a mobile phone and has had her ears pierced in summer hols

No Tv in bedroom and NOT for the forseable future either

SauerKraut · 21/11/2007 11:51

None of it and I have also had the "everyone else has" line. Which turned out to be far from the truth.

happystory · 21/11/2007 11:51

Agree with sv about the 6 week thing, the timing is quite important

GrumpyOldHorsewoman · 21/11/2007 11:52

DD1 (who is now almost 13) had a TV in her room at the age of 10. It wasn't tuned in for channels, though, just linked to a video player. She did not have a mobile phone, but she has one now (Pay as you go - for emergencies only) and I allowed her to get her ears pierced when she was 11 after much brow beating from her.

I was reluctant to allow these things, but it is true that so many other children have them, and I believe that you have to pick your battles otherwise you will find you fall out over everything. Sometimes, unless it is something you feel very strongly about or have a very valid reason for disallowing it doesn't do much harm to say yes to the odd thing. Just don't allow your DD to see it as a precedent for getting what she wants all the time. A little give and take is OK.

OrmIrian · 21/11/2007 11:54

A mobile phone - last summer because we wanted him to be reachable when he goes out with his friends on his bike or to the park.

None of the others.

DumbledoresGirl · 21/11/2007 11:55

I have a son in Year 7 and a son in Year 5, so one either side of your dd. Also they are sons, not daughters, but I still want to comment.

No to all: no mobile phone (though ds1 is getting one for Christmas because he said he was the only one in his Year 7 yeargroup of 240 plus children not to have one ),

no to pierced ears (perhaps not surprisingly athough I have to say, I have a dd too (aged 7) and I long ago decided she could have her ears pierced as soon as she felt able to confront the pain)

no to tv in room, but I don't intend changing that view until they are at least 18.

HTH

Piffle · 21/11/2007 11:56

at 10 my ds had none of the listed items and will never have 2 or 3

wannaBe · 21/11/2007 11:56

there is a child in my ds' class that has both a mobile phone and a tv in his bedroom. They are in reception

DumbledoresGirl · 21/11/2007 11:58

Are you sure Piffle? Can you not foresee a time when he is a strapping 16 year old and wants his ears pierced?

PestoMonster · 21/11/2007 12:00

My dd is 10 + 1/2 and doesn't have any of these.

I might let her have a mobile phone next Summer though, as I think she will need one when she starts senior school.

However, the earrings are a grown-up thing, so she will have to wait until she is older and as for a television in the bedroom, well that will not be happening whilst she lives at home.

theheadgirl · 21/11/2007 12:09

My dd2 is 10 and has only the ears pierced. Had them done last summer and has looked after them well. Can change her own earring, and remove studs at school for PE. Will only get a mobile phone when she goes to secondary school, and thankfully has never asked for a tv in her room.

bossybritches · 21/11/2007 12:10

Why would they need a mobile whilst still in primary ? If they are taken there & back & are otherwise in the company of a responsible adult I see no reason to give them one! (not being sarky just puzzled )

My DD1 only got one when she was Y7 & that was only after a very upsetting episode losing her in town when she missed the usual rendezvous point & I didn't know where she was for he best part of an hour (gulp) I got a free upgrade & she had my old phone wih a new sim card (cost a pound)She has it on for going to school & on way back & that's it, for emergencies.

Ears pierced not til they're 16 (I'm saying now I might give in at 14 if they can be trusted to keep their lugs clean!!)

No to a TV in their rooms, can't afford it & it is isolating-God knows what crap they'd watch!

All JMHO obviously!

OP I think that line of "everyones got one" is an old trick. Threaten to talk to a few parents to compare notes on brands & see the reaction!!

Sherbert37 · 21/11/2007 12:11

DD is 12 and had her ears pierced at 11 before secondary. I have to suggest she might like to change her earrings as she is not interested now. She was one of the last in her class at primary, although it doesn't seem to be a big thing at secondary.

Phone age 11 but she rarely has any money on it. No TV in room.

DS2 is 10 and has none of the above but would love TV and phone. No way to TV - he is so naughty hiding his DS before bedtime and playing on it until I 'frisk' him. Not sure how he would afford money for his phone.

Original poster

emsiewill · 21/11/2007 12:15

Thanks for all the input so far.

We had already agreed that she can have a mobile phone when she goes to secondary school, as the school is 12 miles away and involves travelling on a school bus, so I think it will be useful then. I had actually been considering getting her one for her 11th birthday, but not sure dh will go for it.

Same for ears pierced, in the summer holidays next year, to give them the 6 weeks to heal.

Have always said never to TV in room, as we have a playroom with TV/DVD/PS2 in it, so no need to watch TV in her bedroom to get away from us.

Sadly, I do think most of her group of friends do have phones and pierced ears, and I hate to see her upset about not fitting in, but I feel quite strongly about it...

OP posts:

bigdonna · 21/11/2007 15:49

i have a 10yr son and 8yr old daughter they both have tvs in bedrooms ,but they are used for ps games .if they do want to watch something we dont, they have to ask.my dd also got her ears done as i thought she would chicken out at the last minute.my ds wanted his done that was def a no no.my ds also has a mobile for when he goes out so i can contact him.

Tinker · 21/11/2007 15:51

My 10 year old has none of them

Tinker · 21/11/2007 15:53

I'm doing the same re ears - next summer holidays so can heal

Will get her a phone for secondary although she is out a lot on her own now so perhaps may consider one for her 11th birthday. Think they have a week away with school next spring so might be useful for that

But tv - no, not yet. She has a portable dvd so I know what she can watch

bigwombat · 21/11/2007 15:57

My dd in year 4 has none of these. However, based on quite a few of her friends, a fair number have all these and dd has already commented. Not going down the TV in room route at any point, I can see the point of a mobile phone for going round the corner to the park with v low amount of credit. Definitely not keen on the pierced ears at this age, but again loads of the girls in her class already have them.

littleboo · 21/11/2007 16:00

my dd1 had TV in room from around 10 1/2 but only 5 reg channels.
mobile for 11th birthday
ears pierced some time ago

foofi · 21/11/2007 16:04

Yes to the mobile
No to pierced ears and tv in room

Original poster

emsiewill · 21/11/2007 16:06

By the way, am not saying I think that everyone's child shouldn't have these things before they're 10 / 11 or whatever, just wondering whether I'm really out of step with the real world...

OP posts:

mountaingirl · 21/11/2007 16:06

No, no and no!Dd10 can have ears pieced at 15 like I did! Ds13 got a mobile for his b'day this year, he keeps forgetting to take it with him a month later!! I also draw a line at computers in their rooms. I feel they can use the one in the study, dh doesn't agree as he feels it is his/our space.

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