Slightly worried Dad

[Blues1]

Hi, I'm new to this and I'm a little worried about my DS. I've done what I shouldn't do and Google things which really hasn't helped so thought best to speak to some of you on here. He's our 1st baby and he's very nearly 6 months old.

So the things I've worried about are.. his eye contact isn't great, not non existent but I wouldn't say it was good, he scratches every surface but think it's more the way he does it, it's like a back and forth action if you know what I mean? He's started recently to do this screech/squeal, he does it when breathing in. He's not doing much during tummy time, he can roll from belly to back both ways. He's smiley and laughs at us being silly, likes peekaboo but at times I feel he just doesn't want to engage at all.

When trying to sit him up he keeps his legs straight and keeps himself in more of a standing position for a little while, sometimes arching his back then sits down.

I know he's so young still but it's niggling away at me, hence this post.

Thanks in advance for any comments.

[quote SS1983]@Blues1 i completely understands and! I feel like I am watching and ‘testing’ my son that I can’t continue! I’m sure he’s thinking this annoying lady keeps shouting my name let me ignore her ! But yeh, those are the things I did , kept saying name waiting for response etc , am trying to reign all this in now. It’s hard though.

Thank you for checking the rocking thing. I’m still worried about it. But that’s reassuring to hear and appreciate you having a look. Google sends us down a rabbit hole doesn’t it !

Re the food , I actually have twins and they both do that. I don’t think it’s a bad thing , seems to me like they are tasting it and taking in a new flavour or texture. I’ve also read that foods they liked earlier they might go off later. I think some fetching is normal? Do you have Instagram. If you do, follow ‘solid starts’ - it’s a great resource. I think it was started by a lovely lady whose son suddenly stopped eating at 1 and weight fell. It’s great real advice by a group of experts / paediatricians on how to tackle issues re weaning.

I wasn’t much of a worrier either. And can’t believe how anxious I am now. I even worry about how long I will be worrying for. Sounds mad doesn’t it

It seems you are in better spirits ? I hope you are :)[/quote]
I've been exactly the same
@SS1983 analysing everything, Googling everything and it had to stop, I was definitely down a rabbit hole with it. I wouldn't say I don't worry anymore by a long stretch I think I'm just managing my worrying if that makes sense? And yes I Totaly get what you're saying about worrying how long you'll be worried for, I do it too!

Do you have any concerns with his twin at all? And does your partner share your concerns about your son?
Thanks for the reassurance with his foods, I am on Instagram I've just followed solid start, thank you for recommending that, I'll be downloading the app too!

@Blues1
I don’t have concerns with my other twin, my other twin does things which to me seem more typical (sorry if terminology is wrong here). She quietly sits and plays with toys, smiles , always turns and is engaged. My son was doing his rocking thing very fast today, he was sitting and rocking fast when music or the hoover came on. So now im worried again. It’s like I was having a good day and then that happened so I’m all anxious again. I do hate feeling like this. He keeps just dropping or hitting his toys lately too.

My partner doesn’t really share the same concerns, or he says it so factually in regards to what we might be looking at. I don’t know if that makes sense

Ah I’m glad you followed that, it’s a very helpful account :)

I’ve been so sad reading this thread, seeing both of you go back and forth with so many worries! I absolutely understand the temptation to read so much into every small quirk and movement, and I have had my niggling worries too, but I really think that one day you’ll look back and kick yourselves for having spent so much time worrying and so little time enjoying! Almost everything you have both described my daughter does too. We can’t all have broken babies! Please PLEASE get some help, support and advice about all these irrational worries. It’s understandable that you have them, but it’s clearly affecting your mental health and also your relationship with your children (you said some time ago you actually try to spend less time with your son to prevent worry). Stay strong and rational and loving and all will be well. Your babies are all PERFECT and normal and brilliant and fascinating just as they are. Don’t let your fears affect them or your relationship with them - they pick up on these things so easily. Good luck.

My son was doing his rocking thing very fast today, he was sitting and rocking fast when music or the hoover came on.

Um, isn't this dancing?? My 9mo does this as well as I interpret it as dancing! Hoovers are noisy and rhymatic. My DS dances to the hoover, the washing machine and music!

Also dropping and hitting toys is all about cause and effect, absolutely normal.

I'm saying this as someone hugely anxious as well, you are really reaching here for issues.

OP you really need to get help for your anxiety. Men can get postnatal anxiety too. I've had it, I still do, I recognise myself so much in your posts, I was driving myself insane and still do sometimes but I'm a lot better on Sertraline.

Thank you for the comments , sometimes this is the type of kick in the be*d I need to enjoy my time with my babies more. And I do, honestly. I adore them and love my time with them. They really are my life.

@FatherNeilHannon he could be dancing couldn’t he. I hope so. Google sometimes is really not my friend.

I’m honestly not ‘reaching for issues’ but I do hope what I’m interpreting as issues are not, and the context you provide for my examples is helpful and reassuring. Thank you

@Blues1

Hi, I'm new to this and I'm a little worried about my DS. I've done what I shouldn't do and Google things which really hasn't helped so thought best to speak to some of you on here. He's our 1st baby and he's very nearly 6 months old.

So the things I've worried about are.. his eye contact isn't great, not non existent but I wouldn't say it was good, he scratches every surface but think it's more the way he does it, it's like a back and forth action if you know what I mean? He's started recently to do this screech/squeal, he does it when breathing in. He's not doing much during tummy time, he can roll from belly to back both ways. He's smiley and laughs at us being silly, likes peekaboo but at times I feel he just doesn't want to engage at all.

When trying to sit him up he keeps his legs straight and keeps himself in more of a standing position for a little while, sometimes arching his back then sits down.

I know he's so young still but it's niggling away at me, hence this post.

Thanks in advance for any comments.

Hi

Just thought I'd update this thread as I know I've been searching on here in the past thinking 'wish they'd update this post' 😂

My DS is 13 months old now and I'm not nearly as worried as I was, a few little thing that niggle away with me but I've realised most of my worries were my anxiety and anxious thoughts about things that hadn't actually happened. My son has started to take his 1st steps recently which has been great to see, he points to things he wants he claps and waves now too. Seeing him do these things has really put my mind at ease. I still have anxiety so still worry about things but I feel more in control of that. I spoke with another Mumsnet user regularly and they have been great, really helpful even going through similar to my self.

Really i just hope some others reading this won't go down the rabbit hole I did, I felt dreadful for months and missed out on enjoying him being a baby. Thanks for all your replies and for reading my posts.

Little late but Happy new year to you all. X

Thanks for the update Blues. That's lovely to hear

I wanted to update on my son also, as I was often trawling through such posts wondering what the update was. I don't come on this as regularly (for my own mental wellbeing, even though I have come across some very kind and supportive members).

I still worry about my son and for a while it continued to consume me... I went back to work a few weeks ago, thought that would help take my mind off it, but wfh meant I just didn't concentrate on work often!). I did speak to someone, which helped, and I make an effort to now physically go into the office some days, as do other colleagues, which has really done me some good.

As an update, my son is 11.5 months now. I still worry about some of his quirks.. he does get overly excited (I think), and sort of flaps his hands or holds his breath.

However, he also started babbling more, claps his hands now, and over the weekend started to do what looked like waving.. at himself in the window reflection and when he was being carried from the car and he saw me at the door. Will see how this continues!

He gives me toys, and will try and feed me now when he is eating. He stopped rocking, and he seems to be more comfortable with other people / in groups now. My twins have started nursery too. We don't have any pointing yet.. i realise that is a big one!

@Blues1 @SS1983 any updates on your babies?

Wondered the same how are the babies doing now?

Apologies I had missed this

my son is just over 2 years old now. He is doing well. He did point later, I’d say properly around 19 months but started at 16 months, and was doing it less than his peers. He did suddenly turn a corner around then and is now doing very well with his communication and generally his milestones. He is a chatty cheeky little boy full of energy ! I need to manage the tantrums, but my worries are at ease. Of course trust your gut, but also don’t get caught up with google which sends you down a rabbit hole due to one particular aspect. I wish I didn’t spend so much time being anxious. I think I’d have definitely waited until 18 months to get a better perspective as they change so much so quickly. Everyone follows a different trajectory too, and that’s fine

@SS1983 thank you for coming to
update and I am so happy to hear that both you and your LO are doing better. And thank you for encouragement to not google and enjoy them. It deifnitely
is so hard being a first time parent these days where you can find so much information online and get too caught up on milestones. Take care and All the best to you and your beatiful baby

I certainly think having access to too much information was detrimental here , especially when we without realising are taking in the less positives. I have twins, and they are soo different, and I shouldn’t have compared. I hope you are ok and thank you for your kind words.

Hi hope you’re well OP. Please can you provide an update on this? I’m feeling exactly like you, could you update on how your baby is now? Please and thank you I really hope you see this message and reply

Hi OP please can you update on how your baby is now? I’m in exactly the same situation as you and would appreciate an update. Thank you

Hi @Arhumuk @SS1983
i am unable to find your post arhum are you able to link it? I’m wondering if your babys traits were similar to mine or not. Please SS1983 can you tell if your baby is okay?

thanks in advance from a very worried mum x

I actually just opened email and saw this update. It’s been a while and I forgot about this thread.

my son is fine , he was a slow burner combined with an anxious mum. He’s actually ahead in his speech and communication ( according to nursery)

So wonderful to hear! Thank you for coming to update!

@Wobblyheart no problem, I hope you are doing ok

Hi, hope you're doing ok? My little one is absolutely fine. The things I worried about are actually totally normal (as I've come to realise later on). The things you search for online you'll find, there's so much info out there not much of it relevant, but can really send your head in a spin. I really hope you don't follow the path I did back then.. it's really not good for you. How old is your little one now?

Thank you, we are, I am still have some niggling concerns but overall he is doing really well and I am just at a point that I think even if it is some form of ND (through all of this I realise that I am most likely ADHD), it is something that we would be able to deal with.

@Blues1 thank you for your response. It's been refreshing to read an update which I feel people rarely come back to do- not helpful for people like myself!

My baby is 9.5 months- very young I know but have been worried for around one month now- it all started with me googling eye contact as I felt he was avoiding it (still does) but it's better when he's lying down. After the initial google I went down a rabbit hole and have been stuck in it ever since. Also read about flapping of hands/ late to roll/ sensory seeking/ not much back and forth yet etc and ever since then I haven't been able to 'unsee' things and am constantly monitoring. I wish I'd never googled tbh.

I'm really hoping he grows out of this stuff but also if there is anything different there then I just want to catch it early and get him the support he needs.

Thanks once again for your response x

Hi,

Ahh I know exactly what you're going through, I did exactly the same thing. I spent hours looking up things on the internet and you'll find what you're looking for and make things fit in your head. I can only give you advice on my own experience. like you've probably been told by others he is still very young for the things you've mentioned, like I say I'm no expert but what I would say is things change so fast just try to stay off Google and enjoy him being a baby as he won't be one for very long 🥲 my boy is 3 and a half now and I'd give anything to go back and enjoy him as a baby instead of worrying so much. I know it's not easy but please try to enjoy him. Best wishes. 💙