Slightly worried Dad

[Blues1]

Hi, I'm new to this and I'm a little worried about my DS. I've done what I shouldn't do and Google things which really hasn't helped so thought best to speak to some of you on here. He's our 1st baby and he's very nearly 6 months old.

So the things I've worried about are.. his eye contact isn't great, not non existent but I wouldn't say it was good, he scratches every surface but think it's more the way he does it, it's like a back and forth action if you know what I mean? He's started recently to do this screech/squeal, he does it when breathing in. He's not doing much during tummy time, he can roll from belly to back both ways. He's smiley and laughs at us being silly, likes peekaboo but at times I feel he just doesn't want to engage at all.

When trying to sit him up he keeps his legs straight and keeps himself in more of a standing position for a little while, sometimes arching his back then sits down.

I know he's so young still but it's niggling away at me, hence this post.

Thanks in advance for any comments.

@SS1983

It does feel good to write it down for sure. I am very similar, constantly worrying , watching and googling. My little boy has similar traits in regard to eye contact ... if I put him on my lap he looks the other way, same if I put and play with him in the air above me he looks the other way. He seems to be in his own world sometimes , can sit in his bouncer for ages and not complain... I thought babies would get bored and moan ! Every time someone gives me what should be a compliment about how ‘good’ he is it makes me feel worse.

Always happy to talk too. Are you back at work ? I’m wondering in a way once I do go back it might help me a bit as much as I’d miss the babies

@SS1983 I've been watching a lot of videos this week and one in particular was such a hard watch as it's pretty much described my boy, I can't tell you how upset I feel.. I've cried pretty much all day today. The thing is I had some little concerns when he was around 5 months but then for a while he was babbling, wanting to engage with us, smiling at us but now it's like a switch has been flicked and he's just not responding to us at all.

@Blues1 does your partner know your worries ? Are either of you on maternity leave (I understand you are the dad but also mat leave can be shared !)

[quote SS1983]@Blues1 does your partner know your worries ? Are either of you on maternity leave (I understand you are the dad but also mat leave can be shared !)[/quote]
I'm in work and my wife is on maternity, I think she has an idea that I think something isn't quite right, but she doesn't know how upset I've been about it. In a way I don't want to upset her. I honestly think she's not even entertaining the idea that something could be wrong. We have a large family who have all had kids and nobody has said anything, which sometimes makes me doubt myself ant think had anxiety got the better of me? But like I say the eye contact think is pretty heart breaking.

How are you getting on? Hope you are ok?

@Blues1 I am on maternity leave. My husband doesn’t know how worried I am either. I’m not sure he thinks anything is wrong or if he is just not saying anything as he knows it would potentially confirm my worries and make me more anxious. So I was just curious to see if you were both seeing the same thing.

Same here , we have people come round and go out, and no one has exactly said anything. However , people have commented how ‘good’ ‘content’ and ‘placid’ my son is which makes me feel much much more worried and confirms my worries tbh. So I guess unknowingly they have somewhat confirmed my worries. He dazes off in the pram too which doesn’t help and people are trying to hard to be in his face and get his attention

[quote SS1983]@Blues1 I am on maternity leave. My husband doesn’t know how worried I am either. I’m not sure he thinks anything is wrong or if he is just not saying anything as he knows it would potentially confirm my worries and make me more anxious. So I was just curious to see if you were both seeing the same thing.

Same here , we have people come round and go out, and no one has exactly said anything. However , people have commented how ‘good’ ‘content’ and ‘placid’ my son is which makes me feel much much more worried and confirms my worries tbh. So I guess unknowingly they have somewhat confirmed my worries. He dazes off in the pram too which doesn’t help and people are trying to hard to be in his face and get his attention[/quote]
It's such a tough position to be in. I feel like I'm falling to bits but have to put a front on when I'm with my wife. I really want to talk to her about it but I don't want to upset her. I don't want her to then do all the searching and watching videos that I've been doing, drives you crazy doesn't it. The worst part of it all I'm finding ways to not spend as much time with him because it's so heart breaking when I see symptoms of him not being ok. It really hurts because I love him so much.

I keep telling myself this.. but try to be positive, I know it's hard but hopefully things will work out ok for us both. 🤞

@Blues1 i hope so too. Do let me know if there is anything I can support with , as I know it’s hard

There are some things which I though were maybe ‘odd’ but I’m told are normal (my neighbour is very kind and a paediatrician) like twisting his ear .. apparently this can be a sign of being tired / overtiredness and I have found this to be the case. My friends baby came over and was also scratching the sofa when I was holding her sitting down. I don’t know if this provides just a little reassurance that maybe things may change or not be as they seem to us (constantly looking - I know i do)

I meant to say when we are constantly looking and observing , I know that’s what I’m doing at the moment

Hi Blues dont worry you will drive yourself insane like I almost did . Try and read my posts they go back to 2019. My son is now 3 1/2 years old and a cheeky chatty monster. But his eye contact was very bad at the 13month mark and the 20 month Mark for some reason but now he is good.

He has a witty sense of humour and is a caring and sensitive boy.

@Arhumuk

Hi Blues dont worry you will drive yourself insane like I almost did . Try and read my posts they go back to 2019. My son is now 3 1/2 years old and a cheeky chatty monster. But his eye contact was very bad at the 13month mark and the 20 month Mark for some reason but now he is good.

He has a witty sense of humour and is a caring and sensitive boy.

Gosh I'm sure we had an exchange at that time! My 3.5 year old is a very typical toddler now too but this thread brings back memories of all those worries.

OP it sounds like your anxiety is getting worse. I'd definitely try and get some support with that. Your baby sounds blazingly typical ❤️

[quote SS1983]@Blues1 i hope so too. Do let me know if there is anything I can support with , as I know it’s hard

There are some things which I though were maybe ‘odd’ but I’m told are normal (my neighbour is very kind and a paediatrician) like twisting his ear .. apparently this can be a sign of being tired / overtiredness and I have found this to be the case. My friends baby came over and was also scratching the sofa when I was holding her sitting down. I don’t know if this provides just a little reassurance that maybe things may change or not be as they seem to us (constantly looking - I know i do)[/quote]
Hi @SS1983 thank you, and the same goes to you too!

Hope you've had a good week and weekend. That's handy having a paediatrician neighbour isn't it 😂

Im glad you're feeling better about things after speaking with your neighbour, I'm still worrying and I don't think it will stop.. but I've realised worrying myself sick won't change what happens in the future, so positive thinking from now on ☺️

@Arhumuk

Hi Blues dont worry you will drive yourself insane like I almost did . Try and read my posts they go back to 2019. My son is now 3 1/2 years old and a cheeky chatty monster. But his eye contact was very bad at the 13month mark and the 20 month Mark for some reason but now he is good.

He has a witty sense of humour and is a caring and sensitive boy.

Hi @Arhumuk thanks for your reply, I've actually read your thread previously, and it sounds so similar to my situation. Can I ask when your LO started babbling? And babbling back and forth with you? My son is 8months old on Tuesday and not really has any of that just yet. Something with my son as well is he never sits still.. he won't just sit content on my lap he always what's your get on the floor to grab something or he wants to grab my face allllll the time.

I'm so happy your little boy is doing well, so good to hear

Hi @Foreverbaffled yes I think my anxiety hit rock bottom last week, I’ve been talking to friends and family and that has really helped. I’m trying so hard to be positive. One question I have tho is when should I expect back and forth babbling? And a response to his name? He did babble for a little while but hasn’t for a month or so, he has started crawling in that time. Also as I’ve mentioned in another post, he never sits still, changing a nappy is like an Olympic sport these days 😂 constantly wants to grab something or my face. Is that considered normal ?

Also thank you for your replies on this thread, it does help talking to people ☺️

@Blues1

Hi *@Foreverbaffled* yes I think my anxiety hit rock bottom last week, I’ve been talking to friends and family and that has really helped. I’m trying so hard to be positive. One question I have tho is when should I expect back and forth babbling? And a response to his name? He did babble for a little while but hasn’t for a month or so, he has started crawling in that time. Also as I’ve mentioned in another post, he never sits still, changing a nappy is like an Olympic sport these days 😂 constantly wants to grab something or my face. Is that considered normal ?

Also thank you for your replies on this thread, it does help talking to people ☺️

I'm sorry you've been having such a hard time. The thoughts can be all consuming can't they.

Our babies sound identical My little one is 9 months and was babbling a month ago but has stopped in favour of learning how to crawl. This is to be expected as they can only learn one skill at a time.

Nappy changing has also become a two person job... again just as you'd expect! Having an active baby is a good thing.

Name response is expected to emerge at 7-9 months and become consistent by a year. My first DS didn't respond consistently until around 13 months.

Babbling back and forth is much more of a 12 month milestone. You might expect some exchange of noises at this stage, eg your baby may shriek, you shriek in reply and they shriek again etc. Conversational back and forth stuff with proper consonants really isn't expected yet.

@SS1983

I meant to say when we are constantly looking and observing , I know that’s what I’m doing at the moment

Hi @SS1983 just thought I'd check in and see how you're getting on? Hope things are ok

@Blues1 thank you for checking in.

I am doing ok thanks. I’m still worried and anxious about my son, also still watching esp as he is moving more now. I keep thinking even the way he is trying to crawl is different etc too.. he kinda pivots with one leg etc. Also don’t have too much babbling. So the worries are still there.

What I am trying to do to not let it consume me is keeping more busy. I’ve joined a couple of classes with him which breaks up the week, and one class can take up a good chunk of the day ! I try and take a walk everyday etc . I’m also having to think about going back to work for Feb so have had a couple days planned for office. In general, keeping busier as opposed to staying at home and just watching , being isolated has been helping.

I realise I am in a different position as am the one on maternity leave. How are you doing now?

[quote SS1983]@Blues1 thank you for checking in.

I am doing ok thanks. I’m still worried and anxious about my son, also still watching esp as he is moving more now. I keep thinking even the way he is trying to crawl is different etc too.. he kinda pivots with one leg etc. Also don’t have too much babbling. So the worries are still there.

What I am trying to do to not let it consume me is keeping more busy. I’ve joined a couple of classes with him which breaks up the week, and one class can take up a good chunk of the day ! I try and take a walk everyday etc . I’m also having to think about going back to work for Feb so have had a couple days planned for office. In general, keeping busier as opposed to staying at home and just watching , being isolated has been helping.

I realise I am in a different position as am the one on maternity leave. How are you doing now?[/quote]
Hi @SS1983 sorry, I only just seen your reply. I'm doing much better than I was a month or so s go. Same tactic as you really trying not to obsess with things and trying not to assess his every move.

With the crawling bit I was worried that he was dragging one leg behind himself when he was army crawling but now he crawls fine and has recently started pulling himself up the furniture. He does some odd little things that I do still worry about and he's constantly on the move, I mean constantly, but like you I'm trying not to worry and enjoy him as much as I can.

It's good you're doing some classes, I'm taking my boy swimming for the first time on Saturday, so see how that goes.

How le is your LO now?

[quote SS1983]@Blues1 thank you for checking in.

I am doing ok thanks. I’m still worried and anxious about my son, also still watching esp as he is moving more now. I keep thinking even the way he is trying to crawl is different etc too.. he kinda pivots with one leg etc. Also don’t have too much babbling. So the worries are still there.

What I am trying to do to not let it consume me is keeping more busy. I’ve joined a couple of classes with him which breaks up the week, and one class can take up a good chunk of the day ! I try and take a walk everyday etc . I’m also having to think about going back to work for Feb so have had a couple days planned for office. In general, keeping busier as opposed to staying at home and just watching , being isolated has been helping.

I realise I am in a different position as am the one on maternity leave. How are you doing now?[/quote]
How old that was meant to say

@Blues1

Hi, I'm new to this and I'm a little worried about my DS. I've done what I shouldn't do and Google things which really hasn't helped so thought best to speak to some of you on here. He's our 1st baby and he's very nearly 6 months old.

So the things I've worried about are.. his eye contact isn't great, not non existent but I wouldn't say it was good, he scratches every surface but think it's more the way he does it, it's like a back and forth action if you know what I mean? He's started recently to do this screech/squeal, he does it when breathing in. He's not doing much during tummy time, he can roll from belly to back both ways. He's smiley and laughs at us being silly, likes peekaboo but at times I feel he just doesn't want to engage at all.

When trying to sit him up he keeps his legs straight and keeps himself in more of a standing position for a little while, sometimes arching his back then sits down.

I know he's so young still but it's niggling away at me, hence this post.

Thanks in advance for any comments.

Hi, just thought I'd revisit this..again and I know probably sound like ok mad but honestly it helps me to get things out as my anxiety has gone through the roof again this week. My boy turned 9 months old now and was hoping things would get easier as he gets a bit older and progresses. And I'm part it has he's trying plenty of new foods, he doesn't like them all but thats ok. He's doing really well with finger food, managing to pick up pieces of strawberry or carrot and eats those really well. He's started using his index finger a lot and was hoping that was the start of him maybe pointing?? But not yet. He has however started doing this funny thing with his thumb, where he kind of pops the knuckle when pressing against something like me or his heigh chair. And also I feel he's looking at the kitchen lights a lot more, I wouldn't say he stares at them but does want to look at them more often. Also his eye contact has always been a concern sometimes it's ok but I would say he feels uncomfortable when I'm holing him to look my square on. If he's lying down or at more of a distance it's ok.

Thanks to anyone who reads, and like I say me posting this on here does help me as I feel like I'm getting things of my chest.

@Blues1

Hi, I'm new to this and I'm a little worried about my DS. I've done what I shouldn't do and Google things which really hasn't helped so thought best to speak to some of you on here. He's our 1st baby and he's very nearly 6 months old.

So the things I've worried about are.. his eye contact isn't great, not non existent but I wouldn't say it was good, he scratches every surface but think it's more the way he does it, it's like a back and forth action if you know what I mean? He's started recently to do this screech/squeal, he does it when breathing in. He's not doing much during tummy time, he can roll from belly to back both ways. He's smiley and laughs at us being silly, likes peekaboo but at times I feel he just doesn't want to engage at all.

When trying to sit him up he keeps his legs straight and keeps himself in more of a standing position for a little while, sometimes arching his back then sits down.

I know he's so young still but it's niggling away at me, hence this post.

Thanks in advance for any comments.

Hi me again!!! Just wanted to share something to see if this is a normal thing for a 9 month to be doing.. so over the last 4/5 days my DS has started to dislike foods he's previously liked. He had started to feed himself finger food(carrots, broccoli, strawberries, sweet potato, cauliflower etc) and was eating them pretty well but now he's spitting them all out with look on his face that he doesn't like the taste, which is strange as he's eaten them and seemed to like them before. He also had some pasta in tomato sauce yesterday but spat out the pasta and just had the sauce.

Anyone experienced this?

@Blues1 sorry I had missed your post

How was the swimming ? I’m glad to hear you are doing better.

I was doing better in terms of worry and not obsessing. But lately my anxiety has come back due to new things he is starting to do which worry me again . My son is 7 months now. He is starting to crawl, but he keeps his legs wide apart (like a frog), he sits but with legs apart too. So his movements are not what Id call typical. Lately , and my biggest worry is that he is rocking back and forth. I also have no babbling or stranger anxiety .. he goes to anyone. Its fair to say my anxiety is back in full form :(

How are you doing

[quote SS1983]@Blues1 sorry I had missed your post

How was the swimming ? I’m glad to hear you are doing better.

I was doing better in terms of worry and not obsessing. But lately my anxiety has come back due to new things he is starting to do which worry me again . My son is 7 months now. He is starting to crawl, but he keeps his legs wide apart (like a frog), he sits but with legs apart too. So his movements are not what Id call typical. Lately , and my biggest worry is that he is rocking back and forth. I also have no babbling or stranger anxiety .. he goes to anyone. Its fair to say my anxiety is back in full form :(

How are you doing[/quote]
Hi @SS1983

Ahh swimming was great thanks he really seems to enjoy it.

I'm sorry to hear that I hope you're ok! I'm sorry I can't really give you any advice on his crawling other than my cousins DS also did the wide leg thing when he first started to crawl but he's flying now and my boy also did the rocking thing when he was learning to crawl, rocking back and forth on his hands and knees, is that the same thing?

I'm certainly no expert but I've read a lot on hear that if he's starting to learn to crawl the babbling may take a back seat? Or is it that he's not babbled at all? My boy has never had any stranger anxiety either to be honest, I do still worry about him at times and my anxiety comes and goes, sounds like you're similar. He hast been to well with a cold recently and he's gone off foods and his milk even putting the bottle near his mouth makes him retch sometimes, seems like there's always something to worry about with them isn't there. Sorry I can't offer much in advice for you hopefully someone else on here can. Always here to offer some support though.

Take care

Thank you @Blues1, I appreciate your post.

So glad you all enjoyed swimming ! It’s lovely to see their faces on activities they enjoy , and gives us time to forget our worries and enjoy our babies!

It’s rocking back and forth when he is sitting on the floor or on the high chair he pulls his head back and kinda rocks back and forth hard.

He did babble for a small batch some new sounds but has recently stopped. There isn’t much babbling lately or responding to name etc

We have been having on and off colds too, it doesn’t help does it. He had a viral infection, then a cold and just this weekend he has had a cough and wheezing. Looks like we are in a similar boat with the anxiety - I feel like I get to a point where I feel tad better, then something else comes up to add to the list

Sorry to hear your boy is not well, wishing him a speedy recovery.

Appreciate the support and it’s likewise, am here to support too !

@SS1983

Thank you *@Blues1*, I appreciate your post.

So glad you all enjoyed swimming ! It’s lovely to see their faces on activities they enjoy , and gives us time to forget our worries and enjoy our babies!

It’s rocking back and forth when he is sitting on the floor or on the high chair he pulls his head back and kinda rocks back and forth hard.

He did babble for a small batch some new sounds but has recently stopped. There isn’t much babbling lately or responding to name etc

We have been having on and off colds too, it doesn’t help does it. He had a viral infection, then a cold and just this weekend he has had a cough and wheezing. Looks like we are in a similar boat with the anxiety - I feel like I get to a point where I feel tad better, then something else comes up to add to the list

Sorry to hear your boy is not well, wishing him a speedy recovery.

Appreciate the support and it’s likewise, am here to support too !

Ah yeah i think that's the most important thing to try and enjoy them isn't it, I know how hard it is tho when you have something stuck in your head. I realised I was worrying (and still am at times) about absolutely everything that he does. That can't continue because I'll go insane!

Thank you @SS1983 he's picking up now, and I think it makes a big impact on them when they're not well. Hope your little one is feeling better too 

I know what you mean tho, I'm the same, just tonight he done this strange wobbly head thing as he was falling asleep and I was like what's that all about? But sick of searching the internet now if I'm honest, it's such a minefield.

I did have a little search about the rocking thing for you and all I could really find is it's mostly a normal thing to do.

I've been worrying about my boy again with his food, some foods are making him retch and he pulls funny faces with pretty much everything he puts in his mouth, even if he likes it. It's like something I was worried about disappears and something else crops up, I'm guessing that's how it's gonna be for a while so trying my best not to worry too much.

What's mad is I was never a worrier before having a child 😂 I guess they change you.

Keep your spirits up @SS1983

@Blues1 i completely understands and! I feel like I am watching and ‘testing’ my son that I can’t continue! I’m sure he’s thinking this annoying lady keeps shouting my name let me ignore her ! But yeh, those are the things I did , kept saying name waiting for response etc , am trying to reign all this in now. It’s hard though.

Thank you for checking the rocking thing. I’m still worried about it. But that’s reassuring to hear and appreciate you having a look. Google sends us down a rabbit hole doesn’t it !

Re the food , I actually have twins and they both do that. I don’t think it’s a bad thing , seems to me like they are tasting it and taking in a new flavour or texture. I’ve also read that foods they liked earlier they might go off later. I think some fetching is normal? Do you have Instagram. If you do, follow ‘solid starts’ - it’s a great resource. I think it was started by a lovely lady whose son suddenly stopped eating at 1 and weight fell. It’s great real advice by a group of experts / paediatricians on how to tackle issues re weaning.

I wasn’t much of a worrier either. And can’t believe how anxious I am now. I even worry about how long I will be worrying for. Sounds mad doesn’t it

It seems you are in better spirits ? I hope you are :)

Sorry for all the typos there ! That was meant to say ‘retching’, not fetching !