do people still smack there children?

[pregnantbabyelephant]

i thought this went out with the ark, but was at a friends house earlier in the week and she shocked me by telling her dd 20 month old that if she didnt behave[ wasnt even misbehaving imo, she was eatting cake and some of it was going on the floor and just generally trying to join in the consersation ] she shouted at her that she was going to get a smack
i was so shocked

ive noticed she shouts at her a lot but ive never witnessed her smack or threaten to before?

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yes it is generally not true for children who are smacked occasionally.
it is probably different for those who receive smacks everyday just because their parents can't think of any other first line of defence action.

I was hit time and time again, severely, not for doing anything wrong, I didnt turn out to be somene who used my fists for every argument. There was a time when I did get into quite a lot of fights, around 14-16, but thats it. I also know a few families, full of violent men, they weren't hit by their parents but saw their fathers hitting their mother, they also dont hit their children, but will fight an adult at the drop of a hat, amybe they grew up believing that hitting another adult you dont agree with was fine?? But smacking a child was not??
I have occassionally smacked with my children, mainly when they were too young to understand me talking to them and explaining the problem. Like if they refused to stop touching things that were dangerous but couldnt be put out of reach, or if they ran into the road, children dont understand danger but they do understand pain. One a child has been smacked once or twice, normally the threat of a smack is enough to stop them in their tracks, I still say now that they will get a smack if they do blah blah,(the prime example being if they are in a public place being little terrors, they will be asked if they want me to pull their pants down in front of everyone and smack their bum, I think it's more everyone seeing their bum that stops them though!) but never have to follow through, however I don't think it is a reasonable 'threat' to use with all bad behaviour because if you tell a child to stop doing something or else, then the or else needs to be something you are able and willing to do.

my dd is the same age - 20 months, and drives me crazy at times. i'm determined never to smack her, and when i feel like she's really testing my patience i usually do my best to get some distance between us. i remember my mum losing it and hitting me really hard, frankly scaring the bejesus out of me, and that's why i'm opposed to smacking. not becuase i think a little tap is going to do damage in itself, but becasue i'm scared that once i start it might be the thin end of the wedge.

Huge difference between parent slapping out of anger and frustration, and using a smack as one of a number of methods of discipline. I have to say that it is useful as a very portable "tool", but if over used would be fairly ineffective. For something like dropping crumbs it is clearly ridiculous, but then tbh I'm not sure that it is something that I would ever consider at home.

That said I love the line that Tony Campolo uses on smacking:-

"Never, hit a child in anger,
Never when Irate.
Wait until some happy time,
When both are feeling great"

I think it would work best when the parent isn't angry and when the child fully understands that he/she has deserved this consequence, but quite often when both of those facts are present then there is usually some other means of discipline available too!

I do, but very rarely. Last resort of punishment of something that was incredibly bad. And mine arent that yound as described in the op. I wouldnt of doen it that young.

When my first child was about 2, I can remember phoning my best friend in tears because I had shouted at him! I felt like such a failure. Now of course, I shout at my kids on a fairly regular basis! But am always terribly remorseful.
One of my worries about smacking is what it could escalate into in order to get a reaction. A tap when they're toddlers - a wallop when they're 6?
I am so glad to have never smacked, I think it is always wrong and let's face it - it's crap parenting.