I believe my 2 year old son is starting to show signs of ASD.

[fayecon]

First time poster so please be gentle with me! Excuse the long post. My DS just turned 2 last month and I've probably been concerned about him for the past 6 months. Although with Covid and personal circumstances I've been reassured from everyone not to worry. He has always been a very happy and easy baby , He isn't talking apart from gurgles and the odd word but it's not linked to anything. For example, he can say Mama but doesnt call me Mama etc.
At the beginning of lockdown in Ireland we moved to the country and for the past 6 months its just been, me him and his Dad and our dog. My partner isnt working so is minding him 4 days a week whilst I work from home. He's a great father, very relaxed and patient with him.
Prior to Covid, my mum had my DS 4 days a week, she was a childworker for years and would constantly play games and songs with him.
During this time (When he was about 15-16 months) he would be able to copy heads shoulders knees and toes, wave, say cheers etc and a few words.
I thought Initially it was being in a remote area when he started to get quieter over the last few months. He's no other children around him, It seemed to be like he was regressing and myself and my partner have been worried we're not good enough child carers for him. (My mum was brilliant)

Since lockdown here we've not been able to go to playgroups and he's not been with other children. My partner takes him to the playground every day weather permitting and we go for walks every morning with the dog. We point things out to him but he does zone out a lot.
I'm on a waiting list for a nursery but wont be until after Christmas. I'm also waiting for private speech therapy classes (Again not until jan)
Over the past couple of months I've noticed he's become a lot quieter. It's been hard to judge as we're on lockdown and everyone tells me he's still so small. initially I was just worried about the language but I've realized that he doesnt really engage with things. He's never pointed and very occasionally waves. He doesnt imitate us. He loves sitting and spinning his sunglasses, loves jumping on the couch and off it.
I found an old thread on here from a mama from a few years ago and she described my son to a tee. (He was later diagnosed with Autism) Something just clicked and a lot of what we thought were "quirks" start to make a lot of sense. .. I've been researching ASD since and I've booked in with my GP and new healthcare worker for his 2 year assessment now next week.
I havent slept in days with anxiety of it all and cant stop thinking about it. I just feel so scared and worried. I just wondered if anyone has felt the same and if there are any positive stories out there? Or even just words of support would be great?
Thanks in advance
A very anxious Mother xx

I haven't got any experience sorry but didn't want you to go unanswered.

It's really good that you've booked some Speech Therapy and an appointment with the Doctor. If he does have ASD, and it's by no means a definite by a long way, you are doing everything right.

Has anyone mentioned doing the mchat test yet? It should give you an idea what his chances of being Autistic are but it's not a definite diagnosis

I would echo the MCHAT.

Are you confident that his hearing is ok?

My little one has really bad glue ear. It's impacting his communication and understanding. We're looking into whether he has a learning disability / autisim / just can't hear us at the moment. (Or a combination of two of them, which is what I think is more likely).

Oh thanks so much both for coming back to me. Yes, I did the MCHAT online. It came out that he was medium risk. I’m also going to get his hearing checked again. I think I had hearing issues when I was little so maybe it’s that.
Thanks so much for messaging me. Really appreciate it!

You may be able to self refer fir a hearing test, we can in this area

Just an update: I took my little boy to the doctor, she was lovely. She wasn't concerned about him really. She was more worried about me. I think during this lockdown I've been suffering badly from anxiety and I'm quite isolated. (I would be used to having a lot of people around) so I've been Googling everything and just got myself in such a state. Now I'm just enjoying my little boy and taking time for a bit of self care too. ❤️

Aww thank you for the update. I had these worries about my little girl at one point and she's totally fine now but it was very stressful at the time. All consuming actually! I'm so glad you're just enjoying him and taking some time to look after yourself.

Thanks so much!! God- the joys of motherhood! 😂 yes- I think this lockdown had more of an effect on me then I realised! Xxx

Hope your looking after yourself too ❤️❤️❤️

As someone who has suffered with health anxiety when my son was a baby, I just wanted to say it really can be the thief of joy. So glad you're focusing on enjoying your son. Look after yourself.

Glad you're feeling reassured OP.

It's such a tricky time right now, you are right go with it a bit more and give it time. I used to struggle to know what to do to help DS with speech and expression. Could you ask your mum to help you put together a rough timetable for the day that you and dad follow. Kids love a routine / similar flow to the day. Something like

Wake up, cuddles, breakfast, time with you before you start working.
Get ready.. make this into a game, where are the socks, let's find your teacher top type thing.
Activity..
Snack
Activity
Lunch
Nap
Activity
Snack
Activity
Tea
Eve routine

Activities could be a park trip, playing with toys.. theming toys can be good so your not playing with everything at once, singing.. especially those rhymes with actions, watching a baby group or online baby class.. the baby club is good for seeing children, treasure hunt.. can you find X, colour matching games, linking in with your mum on zoom ask her to do some of those games!

Anything really. Obviously you find need to become entertainers but thinking of Mon to Fri being like childcare may help you all feel happier.

There are some great bloggers around or look on Pinterest for 2 year old play ideas. You can't replace the social contact and this will be affecting all children in your situation, he'll soon develop these skills when his contact increases. You may not want to compare him to age as he'll be behind, think of it as how the stages develop of communication then you'll feel happier with his progress.

Sorry I waffled on a bit!