Feel like my happy, contented 5 month old has regressed into a miserable, screaming, inconsolable bag of noise and while I jest, it's tearing me apart

[97PercentGingerbread]

Title says it all really.

DD is 23/24 weeks old and up until now has been such a happy, contented and joyful little soul. She fed astonishingly well, slept, played, smiled and seemed happy within herself.

Over the last week or so it's like a regression. She screams, shouts, whines, groans and moans. She resolutely refuses to nap during the day and if you lie her down she screams blue murder. Putting her in her pushchair is the only solution and I have to walk for hours to keep her asleep. Stop and she wakes up. The cold, wet weather is going to make this untenable. Feeding during the day is a constant battle too with her thrashing about, screaming, refusing to latch on etc. She just seems thoroughly miserable. If you work very, very hard you can keep her smiling but her attention span has imploded too. She used to play happily under her gym, in her chair, in her pushchair, on your knee for quite a length of time. Now it's 2 minutes if that and you have to distract her to avoid another episode. She's also learnt the stiff as a board phenomenon and putting her in her puschair results in a huge meltdown. She sleeps 5hrs straight from 7pm then wakes every hour or hour and a half to feed but dreamfeeds effectively. We co-sleep and she wakes properly at 7am every day.

She doesn't seem ill, normal temperature, lots of wet and dirty nappies, still on the 99th centile and is exclusively breastfed. It doesn't seem like pain, it's almost angry. I know she's frustrated with immobility. She's a very 'up' baby and prefers to be held up in a standing position, looking at the world. She gets very frustrated on her belly, thrashing about trying to work out how to move forward and ends up angry and flapping.

I thought it might be teething. She drools constantly and bites hard on everything she can, especially on her right lower gum but this has been happening for weeks and I cannot see or feel a thing. And what 5 month old doesn't chew and drool? I know teeth move before they come through but this level of anguish can't be solely due to rumblings in her gum can it?

Every day is a struggle. By midday she's grumpy and overtired and I'm sobbing and pleading with an unhappy baby. I'm feeling like such a miserable failure. I can't bear to see her so unhappy.

So, what's happening?

Please tell me at 5 months they all go through this.

I bet you any money it's teething. It seems to last a lifetime.

Really? This level of anguish?

I did try teething gel and Ashtons and Parsons and while the powders work for a wee while I think the teething gel did bugger all. I think she just ate it anyway.

I hate to say it but I agree - I bet its teeth.

My little soldier (9 mths) was a HORROR for 3 months on and off until these two teeth magiacally appeared and it was like I had switched off the horribleness (is that a word?)

Now it has started again as a new set of teeth come through.

Honestly, I know it is horrific but just bear with it, it does pass.

Have you tried Medised at night? And Ashton and Parsons powder during the day (you get it in boots, rub on gums and tongue).

Also, I use sugar free ice pops for DS to suck or if you don't want to do that empty the liquid out and refill the ice pop wrapper with water.

Hang in there!!

Hmm, you have covered all the things I would have suggested. Frustration can be a big thing - DS was very tetchy when he was trying to crawl. And at that age, she could well be nurturing a tooth or two. DS was teething for weeks before his first tooth came in - and your DD certainly seems to be showing all the signs. Have you tried giving her a little Medised?

DO NOT consider yourself a failure though! She's a baby, she's learning all sorts of new things, but she can't move or communicate with you and it must be so frustrating for her. If it is her teeth, you won't believe the change once that tooth comes in (I also had some success with those Ashton and Wotsit powders - Ashton and Parsons, you can get them at Boots. It's just palliative, but there was definitely some benefit.

It WILL get better,

Oh yes, coupled with the frustration of not being able to move around. My BFs little on was like that too.

I was lucky, DS was crawling by 6 months.

Massive cross posting!

Definitely sounds like teeth combined with frustration over mobility -- my DS (8mo) is much happier now he can crawl. He went through a stage of pushchair refusal around 5mo, we carried him round in a baby carrier instead and he was much better.

She did get hold of a piece of very cold cucumber and gummed it half to death yesterday. Seemed to make her extremely quiet for a while. She wasn't eating it at all, just chomping down on it and spitting out the bits in her mouth.

I'm reluctant to use Medised unless she has a cold because of the antihistimine in it. I may try Calpol though.

DH is bathing her upstairs and she's screaming.

My ds teethed firstly at 3.5 months, and we now have the back ones coming through. It's hell at times. I agree with Medised at night, and anything at all that they want to chomp on during the day.
It TOTALLY changes their personality in my experience.

I do carry her in a sling as much as possible but you need constant motion to keep her asleep. She's 21.5lb and walking 10 miles with her in a sling is crippling.

how is she with other people? my 4 1/2 mo dd has been doing almost all of this recently and it was partly a growth spurt, but that's eased (she's gone back to sleeping a night at least). but i find that if it's just me and her all she wants to do is feed still and she's not at all contented in the way she used to be, put her down for an hour at a time etc.

but put her in a room with a load of other people - especially older babies and children - and she's happy as larry. talk to her, hand her round, give her other people to watch and she's totally distracted. she's different to my other dd in this total social fascination, so not saying it works for all of them, but worth a try. also if i hand her over to dp he doesn't smell of milk, so she's contented for a lot longer. she's also better with both of us if we have her in the sling, she just wants to be up and part of things.

i finally see the point of coffee mornings now (and with luck she sleeps on the way back).

Imagine the feeling of teeth coming through and not being able to communicate your pain. I honestly think that is what you are faced with. Some of the girls on my post-natal thread never saw anything in the gums, the teeth just suddenly appeared! My DS had big white lumps in his gums for MONTHS before they broke through.

Maybe you need to get a door bouncer and borrow a walker so she can see the world from being upright?

you need a better sling, 21 lb is nothing

Agree with Puppy too. Does she interact with other children much?? Maybe you need to try that? Even a soft play area where she can stay in the baby section but have other kids around?

Could you try something like an Ergo, much more comfy for carrying bigger babies.

Also don't know how you feel about dummies, at around 5mo it was a godsend for getting DS to nap in his cot, which saved me the pavement pounding and gave me a break a few times a day!

We had no luck with Calpol. A friend of mine told me about Medised - DH wanted to kiss her we were so grateful! Works like a charm with DS (he only has it at night though).

Wait till the molars come in... DS got all 4 in one go

ooh yes if she wants to be upright try a door bouncer

We have a door bouncer and she adores it. However I'm home alone most of the day and can't get her out of it. I have terrible sciatica and that's also the problem with the sling. It's not her weight. I know you can easily carry a toddler usually, I'm just suffering a bit.

She's extremely sociable. Makes me laugh really. If you sit in a cafe with her she looks at each person in turn until they smile at her and then flaps and waves at them all. She'll go to anybody and giggle at them usually. Unfortunately we're fairly isolated here and I don't drive so getting anywhere to see real people is a pain. We started TinyTalk but ended up missing 3 sessions because she was hospitalised with croup complications and I'm now booked on the next course in the new year.

I'm also cripplingly shy which I've mentioned on here several times (I'm ShowOfHands usually) and have no friends with babies to talk to.

I'm lonely (first time I've said that). Poor baby must be lonely too (crying now). I must be letting her down but I've tried a mother and baby group, took me an hour to get there in the rain and nobody spoke to me.

I don't use dummies, she has a comforter she sucks instead only atm it affords no comfort.

Bugger ll, just gave her Calpol in desperation.

my DD did just this at about 5 months also. exactly the same. I put it down to teething, but no teeth came.

I was told by my GP ( who has 4 little girls) that it can take months sometimes for the teeth to come through. Also, like someone else has said, they dont always show as bumps or lumps.

Isobel STILL has no teeth at 10 months. BUt did settle more ( like she accepted it!) after about 6.5 months. She just has a few days hear and there of massive dribbling, chewing, rosy cheeks, pulling at her ears.

I dreamt the other day that 3 came through all at once!

I used medised, calpol useless tbh with teething pain.
it really helps. It doenst 'put them to sleep' but just relaxes them and make them calm down enough to be able to get them selves to sleep.

tommee tippee teething rings from boots, put them in fridge and they really help! they're all squishy, with bumps on them and filled with fluid. she loves them when she is really dribbly and chewing.

Dh asked what was wrong the other day, i said she's teething, he said STILL??? shes' been teething for rather a long time now love and rolled his eyes, making me feel totally incompetent ( not intentional) so went to gp as it was bad for about a week... thats when she told me about it going on and off for months sometimes.

lastly, in my epic post... she also said, that is is very familial. i.e. when and how you or DH teethed can be the same as your DD. so if you can ask your mum or his mum ( if still with us) it might help to know if you did the same. mum says all three of us were identical, as were my Gp/s Dd's... I know its not set in stone, but may help to know

good luck

I had no teeth until I was 13mo and according to my dear ol ma I never cried. She's mad as a bean though and claims childbirth is no worse than a knock on the head.

She does pull her ears I've noticed and gp checked- no infections.

oh 97% can i send a {hug}?

do you have any contact with your local nct? they can be a good start for linking up with local mums and their coffee mornings (don't have to be a member) are much friendlier than a rather anonymous mum/baby group.

97% this is exactly like A at the mo and I posted on this subject last week but it does sound like M is being a bit more screamy than A. The general concensous last week was this it is teeth.

Try getting a damp flannel and keeping it in the fridge. I have found that A loves that. It is awful trying to BF while they seem in so much pain think all the hard sucking causes the teeth to move around while feeding and you just have to persevere. Which is why the flannel to chew on helps I shove it in his mouth when he is having a particularily dodgy screaming fit while feeding. Also chop up a carrot into munchkin holdable sizes and keep it in the fridge so its nice and cold to chew on.

We are with you love, it just another one of those buggering blessed phases.

97%, Firstly you are not a failure, you are the most commited Mum to M's needs that I have ever known. BUT you do beat yourself up too much. It may well be teeth they can take mths to appear, coupled with frustration, the Tank has certainly always been strong willed and she knows this and is showing her frustration of it all. The walker thing is a good idea, I know she likes her door bouncer, J does too but she loves her walker - of course she doesn't go anywhere in it yet but she likes being upright and it means I can move her around the house with me.

Have you heard about the Amber teething neclace? I have a couple of "earthy" friends that swear by them for teething, me being my sceptical self am not so sure but they are convinced that they are the answer to all teething problems. I'll see if I can find one and link it for you.

Relax sweetie, it will get better, remember you thought her virus would never end and now you are on to the next hurdle. xxx

If you're not keen on Medised because of the antihistamine, try baby Nurofen.

It's better than Calpol IME but no antihistamine or drowsy effect.