Feel like my happy, contented 5 month old has regressed into a miserable, screaming, inconsolable bag of noise and while I jest, it's tearing me apart

[97PercentGingerbread]

Title says it all really.

DD is 23/24 weeks old and up until now has been such a happy, contented and joyful little soul. She fed astonishingly well, slept, played, smiled and seemed happy within herself.

Over the last week or so it's like a regression. She screams, shouts, whines, groans and moans. She resolutely refuses to nap during the day and if you lie her down she screams blue murder. Putting her in her pushchair is the only solution and I have to walk for hours to keep her asleep. Stop and she wakes up. The cold, wet weather is going to make this untenable. Feeding during the day is a constant battle too with her thrashing about, screaming, refusing to latch on etc. She just seems thoroughly miserable. If you work very, very hard you can keep her smiling but her attention span has imploded too. She used to play happily under her gym, in her chair, in her pushchair, on your knee for quite a length of time. Now it's 2 minutes if that and you have to distract her to avoid another episode. She's also learnt the stiff as a board phenomenon and putting her in her puschair results in a huge meltdown. She sleeps 5hrs straight from 7pm then wakes every hour or hour and a half to feed but dreamfeeds effectively. We co-sleep and she wakes properly at 7am every day.

She doesn't seem ill, normal temperature, lots of wet and dirty nappies, still on the 99th centile and is exclusively breastfed. It doesn't seem like pain, it's almost angry. I know she's frustrated with immobility. She's a very 'up' baby and prefers to be held up in a standing position, looking at the world. She gets very frustrated on her belly, thrashing about trying to work out how to move forward and ends up angry and flapping.

I thought it might be teething. She drools constantly and bites hard on everything she can, especially on her right lower gum but this has been happening for weeks and I cannot see or feel a thing. And what 5 month old doesn't chew and drool? I know teeth move before they come through but this level of anguish can't be solely due to rumblings in her gum can it?

Every day is a struggle. By midday she's grumpy and overtired and I'm sobbing and pleading with an unhappy baby. I'm feeling like such a miserable failure. I can't bear to see her so unhappy.

So, what's happening?

Please tell me at 5 months they all go through this.

answers:
is she sleeping through yet - 'oh, sometimes' (nicely non commital)
who does she look like 'she looks like herself'
is she good 'of course she's good, she's a baby'

there you go

teeth are the work of Satan. no 4 came though today for DS, but nos 5&6 appear to be hot on it's heels...

she sounds brilliant anyway. Tiring, but like a fantastically individual and interesting baby.

SoH, can I just say, I was lying in bed with my boys this morning, around 4ish, and my mind wandered to your posts and how very eloquent they are - I really just wanted to say I'm impressed and wish I could write so well!
Please tell me you're a barrister, teacher, author...as you would be wasted working in Asda!

FlightAttendent, you are a very kind soul. I'm not half as erudite or eloquent as I would wish. I in fact have a gizmo on my computer that makes me sound half-educated when I am actually barely able to sentence a string together (did ya see what I did there, did ya?).

I'm a librarian by day, struggling mother by night. I also write a bit and have done some publishing/editorial work. I want to be an author though. I thought I might use my maternity leave to have a crack at a book but as yet the five minutes between screaming sessions is proving particularly unfruitful.

Arfy, all those teeth! You're doing remarkably well, I remember a post from you some time back when you sounded like it was as overwhelming for you then as it is for me now. I hope you're coming through it. Must message you on Facebook (been repeating that to myself for weeks).

Ooh, a meltdown in the corner. Am off to avert...

Have only time to write quickly, but try a cranial osteopath?

We took dd to one at the start, and he said that we might want to come back when her teething started. After two sessions, she went from needing alternate calpol and nurofen in the night, to only waking once for food - and this was 2 months before the first teeth appeared.

Would love to write more, but don't beat yourself up about the book. I have the same career plan (!) and have only now got back to writing now that dd is 11 months old. Just forget about it for a bit, otherwise it's like having perpetual homework, and you never let yourself rest. Hth...

Oh and four-six months is a vile period anyway (there's a thread somewhere dating from when I went through it). All the elation hormones have naffed off, and you are left with housework, tedium and trying to adjust to this very different life. It gets better of its own accord too.

Hi - I've been watching this thread with interest as it seems my 3.5 month old DD2 is now entering "The Zone". Won't be long now before her poor little fist is just a bloody stump with the amount she's gnawing on it. Getting her down for a nap is getting increasingly hard (40 laps round the garden in the pram is nearly the only solution) and only random strangers can make her smile now, she is so bored of the sight of my inane face. Anyway, I just wanted to add my sympathies, and suggest, if no-one else has, trying Ashton and Parsons Powders. I bought some yesterday, and although I am a bit sceptical about herbal stuff, they really did seem to help, and within an hour she was able to lie contentedly on her playmat for a good 20 mins again. She's a grumpy old trout again today, mind, but that is to do with a rubbish night's kip.

Also - really, don't beat yourself up about your abilities as a mother. You sound brilliant. And she won't remember any of this when she's older. I remember with my DD1 who was also a miserable little so and so between, ooh, well 0 - 9months. Then one day at 9 months, she came out of the bath and crawled round the living room at top speed, laughing her head off. From that day on, she was charming!

Mrs JC - love your answers. i am writing them on my hand for when I pop into town later

my sympathies 97%
and stop beating yourself up already!
ds (1 last week) is cutting his upper canines and pre-molars at the same time and we've had some screaming fits, i was using bonjela/distraction during the day and medised (2.5 ml) at night
the medised works a treat - but i found the bonjela a bit hopeless, so i found some anbesol gel
it's for babies, but is a bit more hardcore than bonjela
but.....it works way better
i think that if your daughter's in pain, don't feel guilty about using a few meds - they've been tested to destruction (as it were), and you don't have to use the full dose if you don't want to
hope it passes soon

Ooooh SoH, re cranial osteopaths, we went to one at the Southsea Centre for Complementary Medicine on Osborne Road - did marvels for my colicky DS. I would definitely recommend them.

Hi 97percent, from what you describe of dd (sociable, refusing to lie on her back, not able to play by herself, easily bored and needing a lot of input from you in terms of walking her around, showing her things and keeping her stimulated), I could swear you were describing both my children.

It could be teething, since you say that prior to this, she was a dream baby. Teething affects some babies harder than others. Some don't even register a blip and then suddenly a tooth pops .

Then again, 5 months is the mark when a lot of things go pears - my baby's sleep went from bad to atrocious. Combined with their becoming more alert and aware of their (helpless) condition, it is a hard time for babies and their parents.

I hope your dd gets back on track.

But if not, it helped me to read about high needs babies: here They are what they are because of their in-born personalities. I had to come to an acceptance and change the way I parented to accommodate those traits. It sounds like you are already doing a lot of the right things by carrying your dd in a sling and bf-ing. It is incredibly isolating to have such a baby, because they are not always easy to take out.

All I can say is that, like teething, your ds will get better in time, as she hits each milestone, she will feel more and more centred. By the time she is a toddler, you would think the terrible twos are a breeze! hth

I join you in your pain my dear, tooth number 4 is on the way!

At least I can stick him in creche and go to some nice, restful Russian lectures

Also now growing afraid of baby groups. I've been going to the same one since he was 5 days old but he is now getting to old and mobile for it! I need to find another one! What if the mums are scary?

Well, suppose I should go pick the monster up now and head home for lunch.

Love to all and sundry and a squishy hug for M

Indith

PS- you must let me know your address woman or you shall not get a Christmas card!

PS2- Did I really say that? Its October! Note to self, avoid the Christmas aisle in Tesco at all cost lest it makes me believe I need to start Christmas shopping.