If you tell your 9 year old he is grounded because of his behaviour, you would think it would make him stop the bad behaviour wouldn't you?

[saltire]

Well not with DS1, he has just kicked me in the playground becase I told him this morning that his brother and he were grounded because of their constant bickering, when he came out of school he thought the grounding had been lifted, and kicked me when he found out it wasn't. then he started throwing acorns at my head, I wanted to just smack, him I really did. I walked away and told him that unless his behaviour showed a marked improvment then he would be grounded all week - and has it, no he's till fecking bickering and arguing and banging doors and sulking. If this what he's like at 9, god help me when he's a teenager

welcome to my world, saltire

(well, with dd1, not boys)

persevere. he is just testing you cos you are making the rules.

He is just seeing if he can sway you, stick to your guns

They are still at it. DO they never give up. DS1 is trying to tell me something, he's in the hall trying to tell me soemthing, so DS2, who is in the kitchen with me, shuts the door and tells him to shut up, and so they start again.

I don't have the physical energy to deal with them and I think they know that

Argghhh!!!! I am with you 100% on this one. Can you send them to their seperate rooms? My DS#1 seems uncapable of stopping sometimes - he just reacts instantly to whatever upsets him. And sometimes you feel as if there aren't enough sanctions to do the trick

Thheir dad - who has been away for the past 3 weeks and just home at weekends has told them 1st telling off will be a grounding. if they persist then it will be no Mathc mag for DS1 and no Dr Who mag for DS2, if they still persist then PS2 will be taken away,and they will be grounded for a fortnight.

They just don't get it though do they? I often wonder if DS1's is his age, he goes into teh most aggressive rages, throws things and hits out. I'm just not coping with them am I?

Oh Saltire..don't say that,..you are coping but sometimes they are so bl**dy difficult! DS1 8 next week has started to be like this..DS2 6.5 will do anything to antagonise him. I'm probably an old dragon but I've got them on quite a strict reward chart system at the mo,...otherwise behaviour seems to escalate out of control quite quickly. I really think this is a testosterone surge and just an age thing...All we've got to do is stand our ground!!!!!!!!

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My kids kick the shit out of each other sometimes, so who am I to advise?! But a fortnights worth of grounding is OMG a long time to be punished for something.
Isnt it? They could be the best behaved boys and STILL they arent allowed out?
Can you do something more instant..PS switched off right away, no tv for next hour...and while you are waiting for the hour to disapeer help me set the table and if you help nicely without grunting you may only be banned from the tv for 30 mins dependant on your attititude?
As I say, my kids, girls too, do batter each other sometimes, but most of the time they are good.

Oops, what does Siblings without Rivalry recommend instead of punishment? Would be interested in this as I have persevered for years with boys' behaviour & come to conclusion punishment doesn't improve behaviour in the long term, but not entirely sure what else does ... trust and compromise and vague sounding things like that? And lots of wiping the slate clean and starting again ... sound like a pushover don't I

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