entertaining 4 month old

[Pebs]

My DS is now 4 months and although he will sit in his chair or on his beanbag for short periods, I have to be entertaining him. Friends have suggested that I should be able to leave him for longer periods by now and begin to get on with other stuff (laundry, showering, cooking etc. Not exactly painting the house sort of stuff!). I've tried to do this and he just gets himself into a state with his crying. He screams in a sling and I've tried to carry him around the house in his chair but again, he will only be content for short periods. Should I persevere or am I expecting too much of him? I don't know many other mums and babies to compare him to and need some advice. Should I allow him to cry to encouage his independance or is this too much for his age?
A confused new Mum.

Have you got an activity mat or a baby gym so that he's got something to look at and reach for? Or some bold pictures (either primary colours or black and white) that you can prop up for him to see?

Sorry, Pebs -- your friends are loopy! They've got it backwards. You could get on with the washing when he was 1 month old, but now he's the age when he'll want increasing attention. Until he's crawling, get used to Velcro child..... he likes your company, craves it, really. & He can now see well enough to tell when you're not in view.

And don't think I'm unsympathetic -- I also have a 4 month old. My only advantage is older children who sometimes play with him for me.

I do a lot of stuff one-armed, now. Have just started putting mine in a backpack because he has good head control, then I can get on with jobs. The Baby Bjorn sling is still handy, too.

Ooo - get yourself down to Mothercare and buy a babygym. DS is 6 months now, but from about 4 months he would spend anything up to 20 mins amusing himself on it. They're great!

Door bouncers are often good, too.

Yes, save the chores for naptimes. My dd is 19 months and can't amuse herself for more than 10 minutes, which is also perfectly normal, so keep talking/singing to him and giving him lots of interesting objects to focus on.

I know exactly how you feel this thread and you will see!
At four months ds stopped using his gym completely.. I think the best thing we had then was the door bouncer. Also, any professionals would probably tell me off, but in Tescos we bought a Fimbles wind up tv that plays music for about £8 which he stares at, and he loves musical kids shows like the tweenies song time, which while I can't let him watch all the time, if i need a break its definately the way forward.

I remember this stage well! We put ds in a stationary babywalker thingy in front of a baby mozart video for 30 mins of peace at this age!

We also had a bumbo seat which was fantastic - I used to put him in it on the kitchen worktop beside me while I washed the dishes, or in front of the washing machine watching it go round, or looking out the window at the cars going past.

Used the door bouncer from about this age too. For ages he just hung, eventually he mastered bouncing!

Had a galt ring thingy that was better than the babygym for this age. Used to sit him in it surrounded by some toys.

You're getting the picture - 10 mins in bumbo, 10 mins in door bouncer, then ring thingy, then baby mozart and by then it was time for a nap!!

babies vary so much - do what you need to do and ignore friends who use the word 'should'. i think at 4 months my ds would sit in a bouncy chair and watch me doing the washing up for a while if I chatted to him constantly while doing it, but i certainly never got more than 10 mins out of the babygym at one time, although that was more than some others got.

Very bad news re the sling - I assume he won't tolerate facing forward either? That's a tough one. Could try borrowing a different sling off someone else and see if it helps? Hope the doorbouncer gives you a bit of 'two hand time'.

mine were happy under the baby gim for a while from about 5 months on. They also seemed happiest laying on a towel with no nappy on - I have no idea why .

Hi, ds is 3.5 months and spends quite a bit of time in his gym. It probably helps that it is positioned right next to the tv. Lovely colours and noises... He seems less happy in his bouncy chair now, but as Throckenholt said, he also loves letting his private parts air.
He has also just discovered mirrors and pictures so your DS might be fascinated by a baby mirror or a big print-out of your face
Keep trying different things, he might not like something today but be ready for it tomorrow.

From about 5m my daughter loved her static walker-type thing, it was a big ladybird with a seat that turned, bouncy legs, a play tray and activity toys attached to it. Kept her out of my way too! And she liked to sit in her galt ring, but I had to keep her amused while she was in that, which kind of defeats the object!

Pebs, a contraversial view but ....

Don't be afraid to use T.V. in short bursts, with carefully chosen programmes to entertain him.

When my ds was 4 months I used to park him in front of telly-tubbies at 10 a.m. every morning for 20 mins while I got some essential stuff done, and I think it was Postman Pat in the afternoon. He was happy, I kept the door open and would verbally join in as I passed the living-room door on my way to/from the washer etc.

Ds is now 5, a well advanced reader, excellent verbal skills, school says exceptional concentration span. As long as you don't dump your baby in front of cartoons hour-after-hour, Telly has an important and useful role to play.

agree with easy - mine watched quite a bit of the world athletics championships at that age ! They are now 21 months old and hardly ever watch tv so it didn't make them addicted.

I agree with the tv point of view - everything has its place. Also put the radio on so when you leave the room it's not silent in there and your departure won't be such a dramatic loss!

I used to bring my ds into the bathroom with me while I had a shower and sing to him and pull faces. I'm not saying I enjoyed this, mind, but it was my only option. I don't know any young baby who can entertain itself for long periods. I used to carry mine a lot, and sit with him on my lap most of the time. That's why I got a cleaner! I do recommend this if it is an option for you. Also if a friend drops by to see the baby - dump baby in friend's arms and...run! Have a shower, make a cup of tea, whatever. I can still remember the joy of having two free hands and no baby to carry. And now I'm planning to do it all again...fool!

BTW, at four months some crying will probably be inevitable as you do basic stuff like brush your teeth, but don't think of it as 'training him' or encouraging his independence. He's far too young for that.

apparently watching the washing machine is another favourite at that age

Thanks everybody. It is a relief to find that this is "normal". I have found, like Tassis, that 10 mins in the chair, 10 mins on the beanbag (by the sink with me dangling some toy from my foot!) and 10 mins infront of a music DVD watching the flashing lights and listening to the music usually gets me half an hour. DS hates his playgym, although I am determind to keep trying him with it. DH plays guitar to him and DS will sit in his chair happily for 45 mins. This is becoming so infuriating that I am thinking of taking it up myself! I will purchase a door bouncer ASAP. It is great to know that this entertaining business and snatching time to do stuff is done by all.
By the way, why is all this sooo exhausting? I am doing lots less during the day and actually getting more sleep than when I worked full time but am much more knackered at the end of each day.

It's emotionally and mentally exhausting and you don't ever switch off and just think of yourself. A bit of time off works wonders, even if it's just asking your mum/mil to watch the baby for a hour or so while you have a pedicure or just go out for coffee and a read of the paper.