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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DS in 19 mos and doesn't really say a lot of words.....

23 replies

balancingact · 03/10/2007 08:41

....he says mama, dada if prompted, but little else. he understands us a lot - like if i say "put that back" or "can i have a kiss" or "cuddles pls" or "say sorry to big sister" (walks over and kisses her). He has a terrific sense of humour and laughs most at slapstick. If he hits his sister (or me) and i lead him to the bottom step, he stays there and looks very contrite and then gets up to hug me or his sister when i say "say sorry". So i do think his comprehension is ok.

I am not sure what to expect as my DD (now nearly 4) was talking in sentences before she was 2 - i distinctly remember as we went on hols in the Sept before the Nov she turned 2 and was saying things like "can i have the umbrella".
I don't want to overly worry as i know they progress differently (some people tell me boys speak later?) but i also don't want to ignore if i should be addressing this.
comments gratefully appreciated

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boo64 · 03/10/2007 09:35

I'm no expert but he sounds fine to me given he is saying a couple of things and understands you well so can hear - there's a bit of a boy-girl thing with talking and though I'm loathe to accept it sometimes most girls do seem to be stringing sentences earlier than most, not all, boys.

deaconblue · 03/10/2007 09:43

ds is nearly 18 months and says daddy, ta, wassist? (what is it?), hereitis (here it is) and not much else. He woofs, oinks and cockadoodles beautifully though . Seems pretty normal compared with his peers and like your ds seems to understand lots. Don't worry

lizziemun · 03/10/2007 10:17

dd1 didn't realy speak before she was about 2 1/2 yrs (now nearly 4 and won't shut up ). But was very active.

I was told that children develope in 2 ways either very active or talking.

LilBloodRedWantsGore · 03/10/2007 10:19

Agree with Lizzie. DD is advanced with her communication (according to her physio - not me being a pushy Mummy honestly) but a lazy blighter and only started bum-shuffling, crawling and sitting herself up in the past few weeks.

LilBloodRedWantsGore · 03/10/2007 10:19

DD is 16 months btw - forgot to say. Really don't worry, your DS will be fine

Original poster

balancingact · 03/10/2007 10:30

Thank you for the reasuring messages.
He is very very active boy. He climbs big slides (meant for 4 year olds etc) and runs around like a monkey and is having a go at her sister's scooter (groan). So maybe all his energy is going that way!

OP posts:

LilBloodRedWantsGore · 03/10/2007 10:34

I'd say it is balancingact. Remember - he's a man - he can't multi-task

mishymoo · 03/10/2007 10:36

I wouldn't worry about it at the moment. He is probably just storing it all up and when he does start, he won't stop!

It was all very different in my case, DS (2.3) has always been active and talks all the time...in fact too much!

boo64 · 03/10/2007 20:25

Lucky you Mishymoo and your ds being BOTH active and talkative. Was that comment meant to help the OP feel better?

Sorry but whilst it is lovely to celebrate one's children's achievements but it isn't that tactful to do it on the board where someone else is concerned about their own child.

MintyDixCharrington · 03/10/2007 20:29

my 20 mth old dd isn't saying much either. "boy" "uh oh" and "no". as well as mama and dada. I'm not worried as her comprehension is great like yours. Her brother was saying practically nothing at 2, and I took him to a speech therapist who said "hmmmm, not great, but bring him back in 3 months". 3 months later, at the next appointment, she gave him a cup and said "is that a cup of tea?". He looked doubtful and said "No. I think its a cappuccino" . She said she didn't need to see him again....

Longwinded way of saying you think they'll never talk and suddenly they won't shut up..

Kewcumber · 03/10/2007 20:31

my ds is 22 months and says about three words (and only then if he feels like it) HV not at all concerned and says aslong as his understanding is good thats all they are concerned about at this stage.

My DS like your is physically very adept - probably ahead of his peer group despite being smaller and very prem.

boo64 · 03/10/2007 20:32

Great story Minty - I bet her jaw dropped!
That's reassuring to hear re your ds (rather than gloating like the previous poster)
Do you see the difference Mishy?

Kewcumber · 03/10/2007 20:32

lol at your ds's cappucino Minty!

Kewcumber · 03/10/2007 20:34

theres a great Maureen Lipman story (massive paraphrasing aheada!)about her DD with health professional pointing at a picture od bird with those wooden tongue depressor things and saying Is it a birdie? - DD sighs and says wearily - "No actually I think its a spatula"

Cadmum · 03/10/2007 20:36

Our 19 month old says very little as well... She has 3 older siblings who speak on her behalf and are happy to guess what she is screaming or shouting about. She sounds very much like your son as she also understands everything around her. If I remember correctly it was as soon as ds2 was 20 months that we wondered when he might STOP talking long enough to take a breath...

Our eldest spoke in two word phrases at 18 months despite being a boy and has always been able to talk anyone's ear off!

francagoestohollywood · 03/10/2007 20:38

balancingact, ds started to really talk when he was 2. He was both exposed to Italian and English, which at first made him a bit confused. However his sister - in the same situation - was talking at 18 months... they are all different and I think your ds is doing very well. Others might have said this already, sometimes they concentrate on one aspect of their developing to the "expenses" of something else, which will come only a little later, iyswim...

tori32 · 03/10/2007 20:40

Don't worry, its due to the development of the brain - usually speech and language develop faster in girls, where as spacial awareness and problem solving comes quicker for boys, they nearly equal out at school. In most cases there are usually still leanings in each direction even as adults.
There are things you can do to encourage more words:-

play flash card games getting your ds to repeat words after you. Use pics of words he can say until he understands he needs to try to repeat them.
If he says something you think is a word then repeat it back to him saying 'yes that is a ... or no that isn't a ...,
Talk constantly about eberything, where you are going, who people are, what you see around you, what he is playing with, what you are having for lunch etc, etc.

I CM 2 children who said nothing much at this age (girls) who are now both talking in short sentences at 2.1 and 2.2 yrs.
Don't worry!

Niecie · 03/10/2007 20:43

My DS1 didn't have very many words at 19 months but at 21 months something seemed to click in his head and overnight he started adding loads of new words every day, to such and extent that by 2 he was talking in 4 or 5 word sentences. And it was literally overnight. I can pinpoint the weekend.

You just don't know how they are going to develop. Boys are slower to talk than girls anyway and the important thing is the comprehension because it means he can hear as well as understand what you are saying. When he gets the hang of it, he could be like my DS and develop speech at an astonishing rate and even if he take it more slowly he will get there in the end. And then you will wish that sometimes you could have a bit of peace and quiet.

Eckythump · 03/10/2007 20:57

A four year old boy who had never uttered a word sat with his mother for a meal. When presented with a plate of food he screwed up his nose and said, "I don't particularly like this," to which his mother looked aghast. He could speak! The mother asked him why he had not spoken ever, to which he replied, "The food was OK up to now"

My DS is 19 months and can say one word, "add-a," which means "what's that?", but I'm not worried because he understands practically everything I say to him.

ChasingSquirrels · 03/10/2007 21:04

ditto pretty much what every one has already said.
my ds2 is 20mo and kinda of says mama (but only as mamamamamamama when crying) and that's pretty much it.
He does 'talk' alot, but god knows in what language.
My ds1 was the same (though I think he was saying a bit more by this stage) and I can not shut him up now (he is 5).
I think as long as they comprehend and are making some form of vocalisation then it is nothign to worry about atm.

TotalChaos · 03/10/2007 21:08

Sounds fine to me, it's good that he understands well. The very basic rule of thumb is one word at one, two words together at 2, three words together by 3 etc. So I would think that your DD has very advanced for 2, rather than worry your DS isn't doing as well as her.

mishymoo · 04/10/2007 10:10

boo64 - I was not gloating about my DS being both active and talkative! Having re-read my post, I can see why you made the comment you did but my intentions were not to make the OP feel worse, so apologies to OP if I did!

I was merely trying to point out to balancingact that once he does start talking, he probably wouldn't stop and she shouldn't worry too much about it! Every child is different and develops at different times.

wulfricsmummy · 04/10/2007 11:42

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