My 12 wk old is such hard work

[Lisa229]

I posted a few wks ago about whether I had a miserable baby. After thinking she had reflux and a milk intolerence I think she has just been really colciky/windy. It seems to have got a bit better now we are on Aptamil Easy Digest but she still has bouts of crying that I can't put down to anything and she is about to reach the magic 12 wk mark on Thursday but I can't see things dramatically improving. She also still wakes 2 or 3 times in the night and I am so exhausted, especially as I have a 3yr old as well.

Just find myself having no patience when I am with the both of them. I thought I would be a bit more settled after 12 wks but seem to be finding is harder. With dd1 I was able to establish a routine quite qucikly but because I take dd1 to preschool every morning, DD2 routine is dictated by the runs in the car. Sometimes she sleeps there and back, sometimes she doesn't. If she does, I leave here in the carseat and she's ok but if she doesn't sleep she won't go to sleep when I try and put her in the cot and then she is miserable all day and even worse before bedtime. She takes between 4-6oz at each feed so I don't know if the wakenings in the night are actually hunger or whether she is just waking out of habit and not able to get back to sleep. Do things really get easier soon?

What sort of routine are yr 12wk olds following just so I can see what I an doing wrong?

The only thing you are doing wrong is trying to do the same with your 2nd as you did with your first .

It wont work.

You cant pick her up immediately when she cries like your first, you cant allow her to settle into her own routine - you have other things to do with dd1.

The best advice I had, and that I can pass on is to try and go with the flow. Choose the path of least resistance.

WRT waking in the night - its very common and normal. Perhaps your first didnt do it so much, but honestly - some babies just do this. You can try increasing the volume and number of the daytime feeds but she may just be that way.

She is clearly different to your DD1, unfortunately you havent got the same time and space to get to know her like you did with your first.

Dont give yourself such a hard time.

I found Infacol helped. Gripe water may help too although I haven't used this.
Have you tried a sling? Some babies are very clingy, wanting to be held all the time and wailing the place down if they deem as not getting any attention. I would also recommend a dummy/pacifyer. My first ditched hers after 3 months but my 2nd, currently 7 months old, still uses one - the dummy/pacifier is the difference between getting him to sleep in 5 minutes rather than 50 minutes.
Going out for walks - 3 months old love strollers and fresh air. The park, shops, streets, so much to see and take in.
In both cases, I found things were easier once they managed to sit up unaided. I guess staring up at the ceiling for hours on end is not much fun and the novelty of the bouncy chair wears off after a while, especially if the chair is always in the same place!

2 or 3 times a night is NOT a lot of waking at all. sounds like she's ahead of her game if anything. sorry, i know that doesn't help with the exhaustion, but, in a way, expecting and accepting night wake ups does ease the pain of them a little.
12 weeks is still really tiny. sounds like maybe she isn't getting enough day sleep if on the carsleeping days she is happier.
12 weeks was still very difficult for us. it might be difficult for weeks to come, but it will get better, and easier.

Thanks for your replies. Suppose i thought someone would have a miracle cure - alas no!

Aha...if there was a miracle cure - I'd patent it and earn bazillions and we'd all be doing it